I caught my wife having sex with another man

My wife and I were staying with a friend in a town we used to live in. One day I walked in on them having sex. He was fucking her standing up from behind. My

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Old 10-31-2009   #1 (permalink)
Shurik is offline

I caught my wife having sex with another man

My wife and I were staying with a friend in a town we used to live in. One day I walked in on them having sex. He was fucking her standing up from behind.

My wife confessed to a 5 year long affair when we lived in that town and that she has had sex with him the two other times she had visited the town after we moved.

She tells me that she loves me and that she has been very conflicted from the beginning, but that she hasn't been able to refuse him.

To top it all off, we have been having the best sex of our lives since then.

I really believe that she loves me and that she was just under his power for some reason while they were together.

She told me that her lover and I have about the same size cock, but that he has incredible stamina....but that he isn't very tender in bed.

What is crazy is that I have had problems with premature ejaculation my entire life, but since then I have been able to last a long time and to satisfy her regularly with my cock

I do love her and want to forgive her

Am I crazy?
Shurik is offline  
Old 10-31-2009   #2 (permalink)
drac is offline

sounds to me that things just got better for you, go with it.
drac is offline  
Old 10-31-2009   #3 (permalink)
Rommette is offline

Whether or not you forgive her depends on multiple things. Ho long ya'll have been together, children, love, will it happen again, what now....

If I were you I would think hard about forgiveness. She said she hasn't been able to refuse him. What make you think she will have the willpower to do so now?

Also, it depends on what she wants. You may accuse her of cheating often after what you have learned. Do you think you can put yourself through this? Do you think she wants to go through this? Think long and hard. Maybe marriage counseling will work

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Old 10-31-2009   #4 (permalink)
psidom is offline

firstly let me say that when a person fucks with
my sense of faith in them...i lose almost 99% of my respect for them.
I see that as someone mentally abusing you.
i find i do not believe a word they say after that moment ever again.
anything that they tell me is a potential lie.

with that all said i would fuck her...and then cheat on her
with a woman who "just had some sort of power over me."

it is a total get out of jail free card!

(What does that make me a bad guy?)
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Old 10-31-2009   #5 (permalink)
Shurik is offline

psidom, I have to admit that thought has totally occured to me
Shurik is offline  
Old 10-31-2009   #6 (permalink)
jnj4play is offline

this is waaaay to touchy to try and tell u what to do, even an opinion might steer u to make a choice. so instead i'll give u a few things to think about

what would she do if you had been the one to cheat?

what if she does it again?

can you trust her the same from now on?

can you know for sure this is the only guy she's cheated with?

who else mightve known and not said anything?

if there are kids involved, how would a break up affect them?

if there are kids involved, how would it affect them to live in a what could potentially be a broken household?

can you truly let go of it? or would it be a thorn in the back of your mind from this point on?

think about it, A LOT. if possible put some distance between you and her till your head clears, then make your choice. im sorry to hear that this happened and i hope one way or another you come out of it ok.

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Old 10-31-2009   #7 (permalink)
jockmaestro is offline

You should forgive her. PLenty of people cheat and it doesn't mean anything about their emotional connection with their spouse. In some countries ( I just read an article about this) it's not considered the end of the world. Monogamy is highly questionable. Just talk with her, keep the connection , and fuck as much as you can.
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Old 10-31-2009   #8 (permalink)
D_Sigmund Fockbuddy
Account Disabled

You have now an unofficial OK to fool around yourself...
Old 10-31-2009   #9 (permalink)

How do you feel about a sexually non-exclusive relationship with no lies but you still the center of each other's life? Is that possible for you?

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Old 10-31-2009   #10 (permalink)
King_ding_a_ling is offline

If you can still look her right in the eyes and tell her you love her, mean it, and want to be the center of her world... Then why get some kind of misguided revenge?

On the other hand it took walking in on them for you to find out.

I would talk to her about it and tell her how you feel and talk about where to go from here.

Hope my advice helps
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Old 10-31-2009   #11 (permalink)
Shurik is offline

thanks for all of the advice guys. all of this gives me a lot to think about
Shurik is offline  
Old 10-31-2009   #12 (permalink)
molotovmuffin is offline

I'm sorry but if it were me I tell her to pack her bags and go. This has been going on for how many years? It's not like she told you about it you had to walk in and find out. How do you know that she doesn't have another one at home? Once a liar and cheat always a liar and cheat.
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Old 11-01-2009   #13 (permalink)
CALAMBO is offline

sorry bud,.,,,,a shock for sure...that being now exposed....what DO you expect?...things back to normal?...are u better off with or with out her?...is she?....this is not the end of your life and love...Have you ever strayed?...think long and hard....And do you know this man?....is he a good guy just keepin her happy?....are you doing your home work?...AND MOST OF ALL..DO YOU LOVE HER ENOUGH TO LET THIS GO?.....GOOD LUCK....

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Old 11-01-2009   #14 (permalink)
kurios is offline

Play along if that suits you but a 5 year plus deception is pretty heavy emotional baggage so bang her but don't trust her.
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Old 11-01-2009   #15 (permalink)
danimal32 is offline

Shurik - you've been given some great advice above, but please go back and read what jnj4play had to say. Very thought provoking. Read it more than once if you need to.

I have some additional questions for you:

How will you handle it if anything odd happens, for example, you are away and call home, only to find your wife not at home and she doesn't answer her cell?

Everytime the phone rings and she answers and you don't know who it is, will you be able to accept that you don't know who she's talking to and not automatically think it's him?
danimal32 is offline  

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