taking it - warning - gay.

If you're not "oriented" to be a bottom, it takes time. That said, the absolute best times I've ever had being fucked have usually been with me on my hands and knees in a sixty-nine position sucking on a nice tool while a third (and experienced -- "experienced" is important the key) person slowly pounds me doggy-style. Alternatively, kneel in front of the mattress or a couch, wherever you find the most comfortable bent over (and supported) position. Then you can focus on relaxing.

And the best advice? You should buy a set of butt plugs (usually three to a pack: small, medium, and not so large). Practice on yourself with lots of lube while jacking off. Eventually your sphincter won't be so timid and you'll learn how to open up and trust your partner.

Although messier than KY-type lubes, silicon-based will offer you the longest lasting and most lube for you're Euro or Buck. And they are condom friendly.

Good luck, and remember: most great bottoms are the most virile, masculine men around.

• If you think that you're so smart, you just may be a work of art! -- Burma Shave
• Some people are like a Slinky; they aren't good for anything, but they make you smile when you push them down the stairs.
  
• Isn't life beautiful? Isn't life gay? Isn't life the perfect way to spend the time of day? (hurl!)
  

Position is also another key issue. I find the positions that most tops really like to start in are the very positions that seem to amount to the most pain for a bottom. The least painful position I discovered was on my side actually with my bottom leg extended and the top leg bent at the knee. The top is usually on his knees and can get in between the legs. not necessarily a position for an entire evening but as a starter position it is a lot better than missionary, doggie-style or even bottom on top positions.

Strangely enough I am not a natural bottom either. But I am a total bottom (go figure). So it has never been "easy" for me either. I just know that I prefer it to being a top for other reasons beyond just sex I guess. Tops just turn me on and bottom types don't.

But I also find that a lone finger gets "me" off far more than even a huge cock in my ass. And not to put a point on it but I think many women say the same thing about getting fucked. A finger or an average size penis can really do incredible things a dick cock can't in the orgasm department. But the thing about being a bottom is the pleasure of being on the receiving end helping a man at his most turned on and viral get off. Many times I find myself having a mental climax at the same time I know he is going to climax in me (on me? whatever!).

So if what you are looking for is that crazy climax you always read about in the porn mags from some guy ramming his cock up against your prostate, I would say that is not a common experience to either tops or bottoms and only happens in a perfect storm kind of situation. The right body type meets the perfect length of cock with two guys in the perfect mood--which ain't gonna happen too often.

Great advice in this thread already from NCbear and midlifebear. These things are key. It took me a while to learn to bottom. Took a while to be able to relax without the help of poppers.

Once you have found a patient and experienced top and have learned how to relax, you also want to make sure you are squeakly clean. Any leftover up there will make the experience unpleasant (from a smell and lack of lubricant aspect).

CountryGuy63 - I feel your sense of urgency and will be happy to help in any way possible, woofer!

LexPSG. 2004-2010. What a ride.


"The hardest thing in life is to want what you have."

Why is it that so many have assumed that there has to be pain for the bottom? What we need is a clear distinction between pain and what I call discomfort. A patient partner is a must and bottoms discover that even some very big cocks can be welcomed.. I would say that if the enduring memory is of pain then one would be wise to avoid bottoming. Ask yourself if you can take the temporary discomfort; your loving partner should want your memory to be be untouched by pain and he will be better equipped to comply if he himself has been a bottom.

"Sex ought always to be pure joy; therefore, I avoid all things which make it a hassle."

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Interesting and valuable insights and hints, here, guys! I agree, too, that the early tries might be assisted along with kudo451's advice about lying on one's side as the bottom. (Related to this, is the position my urologist puts me in for protate ultrasoundexams/biopsy, etc. using the ultrasound probe which is much like a medium dildo, I guess). The torso is more relaxed as is the rectum, as opposed to the body core muscles having to supporting you upright or even in a doggie position -- it allows things to "intrude" much easier, IMO.

The deepest penetrations are enabled by the bottom being on his back, missionary style, legs up, or riding the cock from above cowboy style, I think. Although with him being on his stomach and the top guy lying on the bottom's back entering from on top is no slouch either ().

I'm the top mostly -- although for the right guy I'm ready to flip and go into that zone myself! To do that for me, not a "natural bottom" the secret is, as stated somewhere else on here by another (astute) poster: "with enough time, lube, and lust, anything is possible" -- It's TRUE! Believe me. "Chemistry" is magical, I think. And an orgasm enhanced by rectal stimulation can be IMMENSE!

The other suggestions of fingers, dildos and butt plugs, practice, silicon lube, and so on are all very valid, too. You may not become the complete bottom you visualize, but I'll bet you will get to the point where you bring that bottoming option into the mix and you'll both be having some wild times!

This point is not be easily overlooked. The only time in my life when I was bottoming regularly (about 15 years ago) was with one partner, and I wanted/needed it from him for psychological reasons. It never was physically pleasurable.

thanks, guys. i'll add all of this into the mix.

This reminds me that a long time female friend who experimented with anal got a set of butt plugs. I think she even would just put it in there and leave it for the day! Seemed weird to me but that would definitely get your ass into accomidating shape! lol

This is a very good point, OP. Starting off in missionary, doggy, flying-goat-clasping-a-mongoose, or whatever other style you like as a top may not be the best starting position for someone who doesn't bottom that easily.

Also, lube cannot be overemphasized, but people often assume that slathering it on once is all you need. Try having your top lube up, start putting it in, pull out, lube up some more, put it in a bit more, pull out, lube up some more, and so on. Nice and slow. Also, the more times you do it the less weird your body will think it is that something is going in rather than out. Think about it: Up until now, for your whole life, when you feel something big passing through your rear it's been something much less fun than a cock. Think Pavlov. Your brain is heavily conditioned to think something else is going on, so a whole different set of bodily changes happens than what you might be looking for. In time your brain will learn that your rear has multiple uses and it can't just barge in to the same reaction every time.

As someone who is fairly new to btm, I wanted to reiterate the points that ring true for me...

Position is important! To get started, I prefer the top on his back and me kneeling over him. You can control the penetration on your own much better. After full penetration, most other positions seem to be OK as long as we ease into them first.

Lube! Lots of it! If it's not running down your crack and all over the top's balls, you're not using enough. Seriously . . . have a towel or two handy.

I also agree that some people have a natural disposition to be a btm. I'm not one of them. So far, I haven't had any outright pleasurable sensations from bottom. I can get past the physical discomfort but I've found that the whole submission thing is more of a turn on for me. Jerking off while being fucked or afterwards has produced some awe inspiring orgasms and cum shots.

flying goat clasping a mongoose.
that's hilarious. i'll have to look that one up.

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What's a Freudian slip, again...? lol

Intactivistically yours,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAY THE FORESKIN
BE WITH YOU!
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Routine Infant Circumcision
is an act of violence and
an abomination of human rights.
It should be criminalised!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If it's turgid, purge it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Political Correctness
sucks the colour out of Life...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kan jy jou idee van normaal
by jou gat opdruk...!

My partner and I always start out by sitting on whoever is topping for that session.

I agree with this and I will add that you should also use a finger or two and lube yourself up and loosen yourself a bit before you let entry be attempted.

LexPSG. 2004-2010. What a ride.


"The hardest thing in life is to want what you have."

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being a vers bottom I 'feel your pain' <pun intended> I find that if I 'sit on it' to start it eases up the 'backside' and leaves ME in 'control' of how much, how fast, how deep and how hard. I also find that if I take a long hot 'soak' in a tub or shower and play with a small toy before hand I am able to 'get into it' faster. And last but not least - BREATH!! Control your breathing as you 'accept him'. Find your own breathing technique - breath in on the 'up take' or vice-versa - but once you become more at ease with it - ENJOY IT, it is a wonderful feeling and being vers. is the best of both worlds.

My advice to you, if you have been top for 20+ years, STAY that way, there are WAY to many bottoms in this american gay community, and not enough tops to go around, every queer i know is a damn sissy fag bottom, i have to get toped by married men, and that is ashame....
So please stay a top, your kind are a rare breed....