Wazzaaa!

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Well, hello all!!

The name is ETown7, just because I had previously used likwidflame, and lost email addresses and passwords and such. You can call me whatever you want, ladies and gentlemen; just don't call me later for dinner.

Corniness aside (HA!, that's going to be tough); I've been around LPSG for about 4 years, with long absences. I remember when it was forum.lpsg.org, and I was 17. I think that's right at least. Why am I coming out from under my cock...err, rock?

I've had some experiences in the past year or two that have shone me onto knowing I have a larger than normal penis.

I was engaged for 2 years with a girl, and she cheated on me, for a tow truck driver but before the evil happened, the first time we were going to have sex, I couldn't fit the condom on. I just passed it off as that being a normal thing to happen. So, I went out and bought 'large' condoms and that was that. It pissed me off, because if I ever wanted colors or ribbed, they'd be too damn tight; so I had to forego the pleasentries of a green cock. My ex also tried to deep throat me, and she started making funny noises. I thought sex was supposed to be fun, so I laughed. She never sucked me off again... GARR! It turns out she was gagging pretty hard.

So, after we broke up, I was working for a large scale arcade (Canadians know them as Playdium), and I met a girl (we'll call her DiscoLady). I went over to her house to help her with some homework, and she had a dildo as a house mascot. So, I quickly sized up el dildo and I asked her if she's ever used it, to which she said 'No, it's way to fucking big'. I told her that I was bigger than "Pinky", which she so aptly named (it was pink :P). She passed it off as 'Yeah right, uh huh'. Since I had missed my last bus home, she asked me to stay the night on her couch. Sure, beats going home and wacking off. SO, finally she convinced me to sleep on her bed, because I was having an awkward time fitting on this tiny couch. She said it was cool to cuddle (I don't tread on turf I don't know about), and so I put my arm under her pillow and my other arm around her, trying not to touch her boob. She asked me what I was doing, and I told her the truth, so she put my hand right on her boob and said "Squeeze". Well, at this point me being the breast man I am, I went to full staff. I apologized, and she said "what for?", and I told her I was hard as a rock. Her exact words were to my chagrin "Oh, I thought that was your arm!". So, I reminded her of the conversation we had earlier, and she wanted final proof. So, I asked her if she wanted to see it, and originally she had said no. No problem for me, because she's the one calling the shots tonight. Then she finally turned around and said "Ok, yes!". I whipped it out, and she looked like she was about to faint. She finally believed me, but we didn't have sex, because I respected her choices and she was still to afraid to take me all in. We had alot of fun, but I didn't get a BJ either, because she just had her wisdom teeth taking out as well. But man did we have fun.

Then I had met up with my cousin's ex-girlfriend online and we started chatting. I showed her a couple of pictures and we had sex a couple of nights later, with her saying "I've never had anybody as thick as you". I finally started to clue in. I had a big penis. At least to these girls.

The final kick in the proverbial pants was when me and my buddies were chatting about a character from a british tv show "Ali G", named Borat Sagdyev. In one of those shows he was quoted as saying (in a russian tone) "I want the ladies to know how big I am, Big, Big like can of pepsi". My friends were laughing at how ridiculous it would be to have that big of a penis. Now, I don't have a Coke-can cock, but it's wrist thick, not to far away from that though. So I finally realized that I am bigger than average, and should tell my very basic story. :P

For those wondering:

6'0", 185 lbs., Mr. Softy=~3-4 inches, Mr. Big=~7-8 inches (i've never measured with a soft tape) long, and my wrist thick at the base and to the middle. I plan on becoming an RCMP officer, before I'm 25 (21, now) and I play bass guitar.

Odds are i'll be posting my occasional $0.02, so i'll be around.

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funny story, and welcome, from an LPSG newbie :D :D

Billy Sheehan is a good bass player. He was in the band Mr. Big (maybe thats where you got the name from lol. Anyway yeah I like that band and welcome to the site. I play guitar for 5 minutes every blue moon, I should really practice more.

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Welcome, Etown7. A delightfully refreshing and amusing post.

I hope your username doesn't start another Ktown argument.

Today's The Onion headline:

FAA Installs 36,000-Foot-Tall Air Traffic Lights


Please read the rules.

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Hey man.

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Well, thanks for the warm welcome, and I'll address a couple of things :P

1. Mr. Big... Never hoid of 'em.
2. Unlike Ktownblondy, i'm actually a real person with real photos, and i'm not here for masturbatory kicks. I live in Edmonton, Canada; hence the ETown, but I also did live in Kelowna.
3. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker... I get my lovin' on the run. I'm not really a smoker, but you'll most likely never see me angry, unless it's a direct threat to me or my friends. I looked at that Chinese horrorscope thing, and it was pretty spot on.

If you've got any questions about anything odd or spectacular, i'm usually your guy.

Thanks again for the warm welcome.

Welcome and enjoy your stay.

I remember you...somehow!

I'm feel like an LPSG war veteran now..."Dagnabbed youngsters!"

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Hehe, I was around... I made the occasional post, but mostly was a lurker back in the day. If the old board was still up, I might be able to find what i said.... :P

What ever I said, it must have been prolific.

And, I probably was in high school at the time :P

Hi there, funny story!

I think you'll 'fit in' here just fine! :D

Look dad, nobody wants to hear your stupid war stories! :glare:



:P

The board 2nd board still exists. It's kinda scary looking at it now.

<!--QuoteBegin-SomeGuyOverThere
Look dad, nobody wants to hear your stupid war stories!
[/quote]
If ahve told ya once, ahve told ya a thousand times! If it weren't for us'n in WWIII, you youngun's wouldn't be around ta-day!

Welcome to the board! :) Similar story in me finding out about the lpsg years ago, and taking a while to introduce myself, hope you have fun!

Welcome, Etown7. A few more like you speaking up, and we canadian men can start to get the rep we deserve!

*Hint, hint, wink, points at crotch* :P

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Welcome back, big guy. Your's is one of the most entertaining LPSG posts I've read in a long time. If you had shown me your Mr. Big I could have convinced you of its hugeness and saved you lots of hard knocks having to learn about it the hard way. But, then we wouldn't have the joy of sharing in your experiences, so alls well that ends well.

Be sure to continue telling us about Mr. Big's adventures.