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relationship with a manic/depressive...???

does anyone here have some advice on how 2 handle a relationship with a manic/depressive??

is part of a discussion in the Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy forum that includes topics on Friends, family, co-workers, significant others....


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Old 06-26-2010   #1 (permalink)
d_michael is offline

relationship with a manic/depressive...???

does anyone here have some advice on how 2 handle a relationship with a manic/depressive??
d_michael is offline  
Old 06-26-2010   #2 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


leave.

i'm only half joking. there's only room for one mad person in my relationships and it's bloody well going to be me.

my serious advice is to never blame yourself for their moods. whatever they might say.

love is a lie
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Old 06-26-2010   #3 (permalink)
D_Sparroe Spongecaques is offline
Banned


With kid gloves,it will never be easy,be supportive and develop a very thick skin as one day you'll be the devil incarnate (according to your partner) and the next the best thing since sliced bread.

Get support for yourself as well as some days you'll feel like cracking up yourself.

Good luck!
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Old 06-26-2010   #4 (permalink)
JacobFox is offline


I'm not an expert on the subject. I have been seeking a degree in psychology for a few years and now still working towards it. But if your post is serious, listen to PrincessTasha because she laid it out for you clearly.

I'm a psychology PHD student who suffers from OCD and my boyfriend is a philosophy major who suffers from major depression. We barely agree on the time of day... but I love him and he loves me so much that he puts up with my bullshit...

The best way to deal with someone different than you is simply to show them how much you love them. If you both agree on the love.. you are cool :)
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Old 06-26-2010   #5 (permalink)
SpeedoMike is offline


don't think you can cure the person... you can't. I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and been disabled by it for 25 years ago. I don't have any fantasy thoughts that someone is going to sweep me off my feet, fix me, and make me forever happy. persons suffering from a less serious condition may be more able to deal with it, but still can't expect someone to cure him.

love for the person simply may not be enough to provide coping skills to help you thru rough times. but you can try.
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Old 06-26-2010   #6 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by SpeedoMike View Post
love for the person simply may not be enough to provide coping skills to help you thru rough times.
my thoughts exactly.

love is a lie
dolfette is offline  
Old 06-26-2010   #7 (permalink)
SandraSmithCarver is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by SpeedoMike View Post
don't think you can cure the person... you can't. I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and been disabled by it for 25 years ago. I don't have any fantasy thoughts that someone is going to sweep me off my feet, fix me, and make me forever happy. persons suffering from a less serious condition may be more able to deal with it, but still can't expect someone to cure him.

love for the person simply may not be enough to provide coping skills to help you thru rough times. but you can try.
Unfortunatly, it takes a lot more than love, the songs on the radio lie, sorry ):
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Old 06-26-2010   #8 (permalink)
lucidbass is offline


Just remember that they're just a person with manic depression and not a manic depressive.

There is some advice that may steer you in the right direction and all, but when it comes down to it, all people are different and their mood disorder may inhibit them or express itself in different ways than others.

There is such a thing as mild manic depression (bipolar II and cyclothymia), it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

The only thing you can really do is
1) read the signs. You can predict mania or depression when you see it build up. It's not a 'drastic' change from one minute to another. Try to accommodate that. Same with depression.
2) don't take some things personal, how hard that might be.

But most importantly and as I mentioned before. Treat them like a person and try to accommodate their individual needs first.
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Old 06-26-2010   #9 (permalink)
BJs4You IL is offline


I'm in the same boat. It hasn't worked so well over the years, but we try, and when it comes down to it, I wouldn't want anyone else to be my significant other. Good luck. It's less difficult to convince myself that I'm not the devil incarnate - usually - than it is for him to believe we can make it work. It helps if there's alot of open communication. But that's difficult and doesn't solve everything all the time. But keep trying.
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Old 06-27-2010   #10 (permalink)
Wish-4-8 is offline


Ive been there. Here are some tips:
1. Read, read, read. Read as much as you can on the subject.
2. The highs are very fun. High sex drive, uncontrolable money spending. But the lows are, well, not fun. Be prepare for possible violence. Learn to dodge shit thrown at you. The slightest thing can set them off.
3. They need two things: Medication, and weekly threapy.
4. The meds, like lithium, will get the ups and downs level. So much that the person may not feel they need to take them anymore, which can be a huge mistake.
5. Same goes for threapy.
6. If a person is not willing to take their meds and see thier weekly therapist, LEAVE! You cannot help a person who will not help themselves. And yes, that is why I left.

OK, now I'm surprised!
Whats with this place?

Dolfette says I am not a "Leg-Humper" (Yipee!)
but she also thinks I'm a twat!


Somehow, this place is less bright without the color RED.
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Old 06-27-2010   #11 (permalink)
sbat is offline
Banned


Quote:
Originally Posted by Wish-4-8 View Post
6. If a person is not willing to take their meds and see thier weekly therapist, LEAVE! You cannot help a person who will not help themselves. And yes, that is why I left.
Re #6.

Manic depression is very controllable if the person wants to control it. I worked with a psychologist to recognize my emotional state and isolate myself on the ups and the downs. Small things like types of food you eat, the timing of exercise, can help to keep excessive behavior under control even without medication (which turns you into a zombie, at least at the dosages prescribed to me). Certain thoughts just can't be helped, but the damaging behaviors can be.

The manic depressives who lose complete control simply allow themselves to, the same way a drug addict who keeps falling off the wagon allows themselves to.
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Old 06-29-2010   #12 (permalink)
Desirevous is offline


There's only one answer...get out now, before your life is ruined

I lived this. It cannot work.

Bipolars have an uncanny way of surviving while they destroy everyone around them. They have no guilt about this. YOU become the enemy
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Old 06-29-2010   #13 (permalink)
helgaleena is offline


You become the enemy but you don't stay the enemy. That is the seductive part. The thrills can be amazing but the hurt can be devastating. If you are at all unstable yourself it's best not to even attempt to stay, if the down crushes you too much. There is no dishonor in admitting you can't stay.

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Old 06-29-2010   #14 (permalink)
instynctive is offline


I agree. Leave. Unless you can get them into therapy and on meds...

You will eventually be in an impossible situation and it will end anyway. Save yourself some emotional scarring. I'm almost 3 years out of a 3 year relationship with someone with uncontrolled bi-polar and borderline personality disorder. I'm still trying to heal.
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Old 08-05-2010   #15 (permalink)
OxfordDreams is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by instynctive View Post
I agree. Leave. Unless you can get them into therapy and on meds...

You will eventually be in an impossible situation and it will end anyway. Save yourself some emotional scarring. I'm almost 3 years out of a 3 year relationship with someone with uncontrolled bi-polar and borderline personality disorder. I'm still trying to heal.
I hear you.

My ex was an uncontrolled bi-polar person with full-blown personality disorder. He couldn't make up his mind if he was straight, gay, bisexual, bent, or crooked. He couldn't make up his mind who (or what) he wanted to fuck on a daily basis so he fucked anything that moved. Couldn't figure out if he was a Switch, Dom, or submissive. It was maddening! I never knew where I stood with them and they made sure to keep me that way.

Many with this disorder are also Sociopaths....manipulative and unpredictable. It's always about them, they're never wrong, the world is out to get them, blah, blah, blah.

I'm almost 2 years out of that 3 year relationship. And I've never been more happy with my life, surroundings, and the family and friends that I have.

To think, I almost let him and his uncontrolled psychosis' ruin my life!

Run, don't walk, from someone with this condition. Especially if they're in denial and unmedicated.
OxfordDreams is offline  

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