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First time pegging/strap on... need advice (I'm the guy)

My GF and I enjoy an imaginative sex life. After talking about it for a little while, we bought a strap on yesterday and she tried it out on me last night. We did everything

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Old 07-26-2010   #1 (permalink)
manofatlanta is offline

First time pegging/strap on... need advice (I'm the guy)

My GF and I enjoy an imaginative sex life. After talking about it for a little while, we bought a strap on yesterday and she tried it out on me last night. We did everything by the book, lots of lube, lots of pre-insertion stimulation, small(ish) dildo, taking it slow etc., but my poor little sphincter had a rough time of it. She only got it in about 3 inches before it seemed like it wasn't going any further.

This was my first time doing anal, and I really enjoyed seeing my GF's reaction to putting it to me. I'd like to do it some more. I just can't figure out what I need to change to be able to receive more of that dildo. It's about 7 inches long, 1 inch wide and has an upward curve toward the tip.

Right now my bum is sore. I don't think anything was torn, but there was definitely discomfort. Can anyone offer some good advice?
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Old 07-26-2010   #2 (permalink)
D_Spooge_A_Matic is offline
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My advice would be to relax and take it easy. You did a sensible thing by stopping at the point where you felt comfortable - it will hurt or ache the first few times but as you build up an awareness for the feeling it will become easier. If it doesn't feel particularly nice, ease off it a bit and try again another time.

I found that being suitably turned on helped plenty - lots of foreplay beforehand really benefitted - When I felt like I really wanted it, it was a lot easier. Just going straight to trying to put in the dildo will likely not get you very far. There is always that temptation to just get it all in, but ultimately that'll spoil your experience and put you off.

Take it slow, have some fun with it and in time you will find little by little that it will become easier.

You can worry about taking this kinda thing on in a few years
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Old 07-26-2010   #3 (permalink)
HiddenLacey is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by flame boy View Post
You can worry about taking this kinda thing on in a few years
I just broke out in a cold sweat...



To the OP, I've never had anal sex myself, but I have experimented with plugs and such. Maybe that would help you? You can buy a medium sized plug and maybe wear it for alittle while to get used to the feeling and help relax?

Sorry I couldn't be more help, I just felt like I should provide you with what little I know since you posted in Women's Issues, goodluck!

OH and PS: the strap-on sex sounds really hot!

I hate porn with a heavily made up, stripper shoe prancing, screaming fake woman that shows off her ass while talking to the camera man for fifteen minutes then gives a ten minute blow job, while gagging till she almost vomits with black make up smeared every where ending with cum in her eyes and a smile for the camera.

Last edited by HiddenLacey; 07-26-2010 at 09:16 AM..
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Old 07-26-2010   #4 (permalink)
MercyfulFate is offline


Chances are you're tightening up when she's trying to go in. My ex got a pretty huge one halfway inside me, but it took a good long while.
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Old 07-26-2010   #5 (permalink)
pain4anangel is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by submissivegirl83 View Post
You can buy a medium sized plug and maybe wear it for alittle while to get used to the feeling and help relax?

This is what I was going to suggest too. You can buy anal training kits online. I have had my ex-sub use them to train and he did very well. I had him start off with maybe 15 min a day and work up to an hour a day. Only 1in wide? Hmmm. In my photos, the one I was using is very small at the tip but gets bigger at the base. I have other dildos I use for playing after he's warmed up (as in pics as well). Also, the position you are in can matter too if you are tense...I typically do it doggy, but guys have told me that when they do girls, it is best to have them lay on their back.
I suggest you are on your knees and you control it...you back into it and ease your way in.
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Old 07-26-2010   #6 (permalink)
manofatlanta is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by pain4anangel View Post
This is what I was going to suggest too. You can buy anal training kits online. I have had my ex-sub use them to train and he did very well. I had him start off with maybe 15 min a day and work up to an hour a day. Only 1in wide? Hmmm. In my photos, the one I was using is very small at the tip but gets bigger at the base. I have other dildos I use for playing after he's warmed up (as in pics as well). Also, the position you are in can matter too if you are tense...I typically do it doggy, but guys have told me that when they do girls, it is best to have them lay on their back.
I suggest you are on your knees and you control it...you back into it and ease your way in.
Thanks for the advice from all. I will give this suggestion a try for sure.

PS. "Why is it so hard to find a guy who wants a relationship who is also hot and bi?"
LOL, my GF has added that she'd like to watch me suck a guy's dick while she puts the strap on to me. I'm up for that! I enjoy watching her go into crazysexy mode. I'd like to suck a guy too, knowing she'd be getting hot watching. :) It's all good if everyone is having fun. Now If I can only find the right partner here in Atlanta (hint).
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Old 07-26-2010   #7 (permalink)
D_Sparroe Spongecaques is offline
Banned


Apart from what the others have said.............sit on a bag of peas to ease the sore butt!
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Old 07-26-2010   #8 (permalink)
manofatlanta is offline


I'll assume you mean frozen peas. ;-)
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Old 07-26-2010   #9 (permalink)
pain4anangel is offline


Oh yeah...besides the peas...there is also this stuff called Anal Ease lol. It numbs the area a bit. You can get all sorts of numbing gel. I have a spray too. Haven't used it on myself yet, but I'm guessing it should work lol.
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Old 07-26-2010   #10 (permalink)
AlteredEgo is offline


I'm kind of against numbing agents for anal. The discomfort tells you when to stop. That's important information.

PEACE OUT, HOMIES!

Porn is not real life.

I only always agree with LaFemme.
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Old 07-26-2010   #11 (permalink)
B_subgirrl is offline
Banned


In addition to the advice you've been given so far, I would like to add that for me a lot of what makes anal possible is what's going on in my head. If I am comfortable with the idea of taking the toy or cock I'm playing with, I'm much more likely to be successful than if I'm scared of it. And relax, relax, relax. Relaxation leads to bigger successes and less pain.
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Old 07-26-2010   #12 (permalink)
pain4anangel is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by AlteredEgo View Post
I'm kind of against numbing agents for anal. The discomfort tells you when to stop. That's important information.
Well, sometimes you need it just to even get a little bit in there. I have this problem where if a guy hits a certain spoit while trying to go in, it feels like having a butcher knife shoved up my ass while being kicked in the stomach with a steel-toed boot. My legs give out and I kinda start to black out a bit. Takes a bit for me to recover. Had a "whoops wrong hole" once and I fell right to the floor and couldn't get up for a few minutes. The thing is, I really love plugs and would love to train more to be able to do anal. Did it one time and it didn't hurt though. Don't know what was so different about it either. That's why I also recommend a drink or two (if you drink) to relax you a bit. Also, maybe if you bought some enemas, you would feel more confident and relaxed too. Not sure if that part was an issue either. And FYI...never...NEVER...NEEEVVVEEERRR use warming lube in your ass. First anal experience and it should've been my last. I'm not sure which hurt more...him or the inferno in my ass. I was sick for an hour from the pain. Anyway...remember to have fun!!!!! Hahaha
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Old 07-27-2010   #13 (permalink)
D_Sparroe Spongecaques is offline
Banned


Quote:
Originally Posted by manofatlanta View Post
I'll assume you mean frozen peas. ;-)

No,i was thinking of mushy peas straight from the saucepan
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Old 07-27-2010   #14 (permalink)
ian
ian is offline


My wife has used a strap-on on me loads and it does take some getting used to. Relaxing definitely helps. Once it gets a little way in try just stopping there and relaxing while it's inside you before trying any further/thrusting. Lube is also key. I've found with some toys that putting a condom on it makes it stay slick for longer (and its easier to clean). Mostly I think its not a surprise if you ache after the first time. It's worth persevering and you'll quickly be able to take something bigger.

More importantly, Pain4anangel, where were you when I was single?
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Old 07-27-2010   #15 (permalink)
pain4anangel is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by ian View Post
More importantly, Pain4anangel, where were you when I was single?
In Ohio? Always been single relatively speaking. You should've come and found me.
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