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Anal Sex for Women...Hard to describe how it feels

Question for the ladies here, have any of you while having anal sex had your partner go past your 2nd sphincter? I only ask because I often notice while reading how dozens of men who`ve

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Old 09-26-2010   #46 (permalink)
Attila the Hung is offline


Question for the ladies here, have any of you while having anal sex had your partner go past your 2nd sphincter? I only ask because I often notice while reading how dozens of men who`ve been fucked and say they have been penetrated past theirs, yet I have never once seen a woman comment on it happening to her, yet surely women must have one too no?
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Old 09-26-2010   #47 (permalink)
petite is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by shortcake_78 View Post
Any advice on how to have amazing anal sex? I know I need to be relaxed, use lots of lube, and try to push out while he is gently sliding his cock in, but are there any more secrets to making it feel good instead of painful?
It's been a few weeks since you asked this question, but maybe this will help someone else if it's too late for it.

Anal sex is not pleasurable to me unless I have clitoral stimulation at the same time, and then it feels absolutely amazing, so using a good vibrator on your clitoris at the same time might be the key to really enjoying yourself during anal sex. I dilate my ass earlier the same day so that anal sex will be pleasurable instead of painful.

I stretch myself out earlier the same day by dilating using a succession of progressively larger dildos. One of the things I've learned is that having a dildo that is long enough is very important. I didn't own any as long as TheBF, thinking that my anus and the opening was the main problem with anal sex. I was wrong about that. We weren't totally successful at pain free anal sex until I dilated using a dildo as long as his cock.

First I masturbate, because I think the process works better and it's a lot more fun when I am aroused and turned on. I use the largest dildo I can insert into my ass comfortably first and masturbate by playing with my clitoris while thrusting with it in. Depending on how tight your bottom is, you may need to just start with dilation since for most total newbies, just a finger or two can feel too tight. If you are a total newbie, you might just want to masturbate with nothing in your bottom first, to get yourself aroused.

After I masturbate first while playing with a comfortably sized dildo in my ass, I start dilating for a larger size so that anal sex won't be painful with TheBF's cock.

I use the stretch and relax method of anal dilation. I dilate while lying on my stomach. I use a larger dildo and insert it slowly. When I feel uncomfortable or I experience pain. I hold it still for a minute, then I remove it for about a minute. When I insert it again, there's no pain at that same depth and I can put it in deeper before it hurts. I keep going, deeper/larger until I'm fully dilated to the size I need to be. I don't actually masturbate while dilating. My muscles tense up when I'm nearing orgasm, which makes relaxing my anus more difficult and I think it hurts the process instead of helping it. I don't use any clitoral stimulation until my ass has relaxed and there's no discomfort or pain.

After I've dilated, I masturbate while fucking myself with the dildo until I orgasm, usually thinking about he's going to do the same thing to me that night with his cock, which always turns me on and always gets me really excited about the sex we're going to have later on.

I don't need to dilate again we have anal sex again within a few days, but sometimes too much time passes between times we have anal sex and I have to start all over again.

Things I've tried in the past that haven't worked for me:

1. Sitting down on his penis to dilate my ass just hurt, no matter how many times we tried it. The idea of having control over speed and depth is a nice one, but in practice it never worked. I think it's because you have to tense up to be on top instead of being relaxed. This has been recommended tons of times and you see it in porn where the women cry from the pain of losing their anal virginity. Yeah, that's because it hurts! It hasn't worked for me, so I can't recommend it.

2. Thrusting with a dildo or penis during dilation makes me tense up a lot more and it just hurts a lot. Based on my personal experience and a lot of trial and error, lots and lots of error, I don't recommend thrusting at all if it still hurts, because it just keeps hurting which makes you react and tense up and makes you feel afraid. I don't thrust until I'm dilated or if it hurt during insertion. Slow insertion, then holding while my bottom relaxes and removing it for a minute break is the best method. It's so gentle and comforting. There' s no pain at all if you stop insertion when there's discomfort and you just hold it there for a minute and then remove it for a minute's break. It's not fear inducing, it's relaxing, and it works.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxingman View Post
Question for the ladies here, have any of you while having anal sex had your partner go past your 2nd sphincter? I only ask because I often notice while reading how dozens of men who`ve been fucked and say they have been penetrated past theirs, yet I have never once seen a woman comment on it happening to her, yet surely women must have one too no?
I didn't know what this was, so I looked it up. I found one web page that said that the second sphincter is 1-2 inches inside your rectum, another that said that it's 6 inches inside your rectum. Could you tell us more? I don't know anything about it, although I've had difficulty accommodating the last part of TheBF's penis during anal sex, so a tighter spot deeper inside me would explain a lot. I've also experienced certain problems sometimes when I clean myself with an enema that would be explained by another sphincter deeper inside me that won't open and release when I wish it would. I've figured out how to solve that problem now, but it used to drive me nuts.


Last edited by petite; 09-26-2010 at 08:49 AM..
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Old 09-26-2010   #48 (permalink)
Attila the Hung is offline


[QUOTE=petite;3010775]

Quote:
I didn't know what this was, so I looked it up. I found one web page that said that the second sphincter is 1-2 inches inside your rectum, another that said that it's 6 inches inside your rectum. Could you tell us more? I don't know anything about it, although I've had difficulty accommodating the last part of TheBF's penis during anal sex, so a tighter spot deeper inside me would explain a lot. I've also experienced certain problems sometimes when I clean myself with an enema that would be explained by another sphincter deeper inside me that won't open and release when I wish it would. I've figured out how to solve that problem now, but it used to drive me nuts.
I can only go on what I`ve read, and it seems that generally speaking there is a bend in the rectum that is anywhere between 6-8 inches deep in all people. For some folks that bend can be gotten past when having anal sex and for most folks it apparently feels amazing judging by the posts I`ve read.

For others once you reach that bend there is no going beyond it and if their partners attempted to do so it only resulted in excruciating pain apparently. The thing is all these comments and experiences I have read about have been from men, which is why I would like to hear some female input on this as I have yet to read a single post where a woman describes the same things, hence my reason for posting in the thread.

Speaking from personal experience, I can`t say I`ve ever felt myself going past any obstruction or so called 2nd hole when me and the gf have had anal sex, and I`m 7.5 inches long, 7.75 with a cockring or when really horny so unless hers is deeper I am wondering if women have one at all.
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Old 09-28-2010   #49 (permalink)
Attila the Hung is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxingman View Post
Question for the ladies here, have any of you while having anal sex had your partner go past your 2nd sphincter? I only ask because I often notice while reading how dozens of men who`ve been fucked and say they have been penetrated past theirs, yet I have never once seen a woman comment on it happening to her, yet surely women must have one too no?
Anyone else care to answer my question besides petite?
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Old 09-29-2010   #50 (permalink)
petite is offline


I can't imagine that women's anatomy is so different from men's anatomy that we're missing an entire sphincter that men have. That doesn't seem likely to me.

I asked TheBF if he could feel any difference in sensation deep inside me before we started using the really long dildo to dilate me, and he said that he couldn't tell a sensation difference between the part of me that didn't hurt and the part of me that did hurt. On his end (har har) it was all very tight.

I think this might be a question for the bisexual men in the Sex with a Large Penis forum. They might be able to tell us if topping a woman anally feels different on his large penis than topping a man anally.


Last edited by petite; 09-29-2010 at 02:19 AM..
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Old 09-29-2010   #51 (permalink)
Love-it is offline


Sorry for deleting the 1/2 post, see the full text in the next message.

Last edited by Love-it; 09-29-2010 at 02:36 AM.. Reason: Somehow I tripped something that caused a submit.
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Old 09-29-2010   #52 (permalink)
Love-it is offline


We always had trouble with vaginal sex hurting and it was just a few years ago that we finally figured out that I was too big for my wife. We got some dildos of increasing diameter that she used to dilate with, but vaginal sex was and still is impossible for her to enjoy, unless I only use about the first 2".

One morning she came to our bed and offered me her ass, I was unaware that she had also been dilating her ass for some time, it was tight but we were successful enough that I was able to orgasm inside her. What a relief and change in her that she was able to take me into her body.

We still have anal sex and it still takes awhile for her to relax and accept me, slow and steady is the only way it will happen. When she is fully relaxed I can really let loose and go balls deep. She rarely orgasms from anal and if she does its from a vibrator on her clitoris.

Relaxation
Lubrication
Vibration
Dilation
Penetration
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Old 09-29-2010   #53 (permalink)
petite is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by Love-it View Post
We always had trouble with vaginal sex hurting and it was just a few years ago that we finally figured out that I was too big for my wife. We got some dildos of increasing diameter that she used to dilate with, but vaginal sex was and still is impossible for her to enjoy, unless I only use about the first 2".

One morning she came to our bed and offered me her ass, I was unaware that she had also been dilating her ass for some time, it was tight but we were successful enough that I was able to orgasm inside her. What a relief and change in her that she was able to take me into her body.

We still have anal sex and it still takes awhile for her to relax and accept me, slow and steady is the only way it will happen. When she is fully relaxed I can really let loose and go balls deep. She rarely orgasms from anal and if she does its from a vibrator on her clitoris.

Relaxation
Lubrication
Vibration
Dilation
Penetration
Does she have vaginismus?

What is vaginismus? - Vaginismus.com

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Old 09-29-2010   #54 (permalink)
QwentyJ1987 is offline


I think I'm very rare amongst men in that I find Anal sex a bit....off putting. I'm not sure how I would react if a potential partner asked me to do it to her. :S
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Old 09-30-2010   #55 (permalink)
Love-it is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by petite View Post
Does she have vaginismus?

What is vaginismus? - Vaginismus.com
Hello Petite - thank you for your question.

1. In the beginning of our relationship, 36 years ago, the pain she was experiencing we attributed to vaginal infections. Now, through better diet, she very rarely has an infection.

2. She tried to relate the pain to psychological trauma but she can't remember any event that may have caused the problem. I still wonder, but she has closed the book on this issue as being irrelevant.

3. Her symptoms have the appearance of secondary vaginismus. She has dilated her vagina for years now with only slight improvement. So, if that's what it is, it is not totally curable as the article suggests.

When we were first together I was naive as to what to expect when making love with her, but I soon realized that she was feeling pain during intercourse. At that time we could achieve full penetration but she later told me that it always hurt and she thought that it was just supposed to hurt. Neither one of us liked that and she went through a lot of different regimens of trying to balance her body's PH, getting rid of system wide Candida and removing all of her mercury dental fillings to improve her body's immune response.

It got to the point that we would try penetration only once or twice a year and always with bad results. A couple of years back she was in tears and shouted "Maybe you are just to big for me!" That had never occurred to us before, no doctor had ever asked about my size or commented on her having a small vagina, come to think of it I don't know if she ever asked her gynecologist if she had a narrow vagina, we never had children. She had a hysterectomy and the doctor said that when he sewed her back up she was shorter inside, it was a bit after that when I gave her my measurements to ask the gynecologists, at that time 6.5" x 6", more is showing now that I lost some weight, more like 7.5-8" x 6", and he agreed that I was pretty big.

After several years of her dilating her vagina I can gradually work most of my way in to her vagina, if she can relax and her vibrator is going full blast, but what I have found is that when I pull out some for a stroke I can't go back in as far and if I do she says it hurts. What I have also found is that as she starts to get excited her vagina starts clamping down and pushing me out, if I am deep enough inside when her vagina starts clamping down it can get uncomfortable for me and her, and at times I have felt what must be a narrow band of muscle clamping down very hard on top of my penis, it almost seems like the back edge of a butter knife is pushing down, and when I pull away there is a very definite scraping sensation.

So we think happiness is a loose vagina, not a tight one.
During anal sex, when her ass is relaxed, it is wonderfully loose inside.
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Old 10-05-2010   #56 (permalink)
B_subgirrl is offline
Banned


Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxingman View Post
Question for the ladies here, have any of you while having anal sex had your partner go past your 2nd sphincter? I only ask because I often notice while reading how dozens of men who`ve been fucked and say they have been penetrated past theirs, yet I have never once seen a woman comment on it happening to her, yet surely women must have one too no?
I've never noticed a feeling of a partner going through a second barrier of any kind, but I agree that it seems likely women have one as well as men.


Quote:
Originally Posted by QwentyJ1987 View Post
I think I'm very rare amongst men in that I find Anal sex a bit....off putting. I'm not sure how I would react if a potential partner asked me to do it to her. :S
Possibly rare, but certainly not alone. My ex and I only had anal sex a couple of times in the four years we were together. I was the one who had to talk HIM into it. Do you think you would be OK with using toys for anal?
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