Originally Posted by shortcake_78
Any advice on how to have amazing anal sex? I know I need to be relaxed, use lots of lube, and try to push out while he is gently sliding his cock in, but are there any more secrets to making it feel good instead of painful?
It's been a few weeks since you asked this question, but maybe this will help someone else if it's too late for it.
Anal sex is not pleasurable to me unless I have clitoral stimulation at the same time, and then it feels absolutely amazing, so using a good vibrator on your clitoris at the same time might be the key to really enjoying yourself during anal sex. I dilate my ass earlier the same day so that anal sex will be pleasurable instead of painful.
I stretch myself out earlier the same day by dilating using a succession of progressively larger dildos. One of the things I've learned is that having a dildo that is long enough is very important. I didn't own any as long as TheBF, thinking that my anus and the opening was the main problem with anal sex. I was wrong about that. We weren't totally successful at pain free anal sex until I dilated using a dildo as long as his cock.
First I masturbate, because I think the process works better and it's a lot more fun when I am aroused and turned on. I use the largest dildo I can insert into my ass comfortably first and masturbate by playing with my clitoris while thrusting with it in. Depending on how tight your bottom is, you may need to just start with dilation since for most total newbies, just a finger or two can feel too tight. If you are a total newbie, you might just want to masturbate with nothing in your bottom first, to get yourself aroused.
After I masturbate first while playing with a comfortably sized dildo in my ass, I start dilating for a larger size so that anal sex won't be painful with TheBF's cock.
I use the stretch and relax method of anal dilation. I dilate while lying on my stomach. I use a larger dildo and insert it slowly. When I feel uncomfortable or I experience pain. I hold it still for a minute, then I remove it for about a minute. When I insert it again, there's no pain at that same depth and I can put it in deeper before it hurts. I keep going, deeper/larger until I'm fully dilated to the size I need to be. I don't actually masturbate while dilating. My muscles tense up when I'm nearing orgasm, which makes relaxing my anus more difficult and I think it hurts the process instead of helping it. I don't use any clitoral stimulation until my ass has relaxed and there's no discomfort or pain.
After I've dilated, I masturbate while fucking myself with the dildo until I orgasm, usually thinking about he's going to do the same thing to me that night with his cock, which always turns me on and always gets me really excited about the sex we're going to have later on.
I don't need to dilate again we have anal sex again within a few days, but sometimes too much time passes between times we have anal sex and I have to start all over again.
Things I've tried in the past that haven't worked for me:
1. Sitting down on his penis to dilate my ass just hurt, no matter how many times we tried it. The idea of having control over speed and depth is a nice one, but in practice it never worked. I think it's because you have to tense up to be on top instead of being relaxed. This has been recommended tons of times and you see it in porn where the women cry from the pain of losing their anal virginity. Yeah, that's because it hurts! It hasn't worked for me, so I can't recommend it.
2. Thrusting with a dildo or penis during dilation makes me tense up a lot more and it just hurts a lot. Based on my personal experience and a lot of trial and error, lots and lots of error, I don't recommend thrusting at all if it still hurts, because it just keeps hurting which makes you react and tense up and makes you feel afraid. I don't thrust until I'm dilated or if it hurt during insertion. Slow insertion, then holding while my bottom relaxes and removing it for a minute break is the best method. It's so gentle and comforting. There' s no pain at all if you stop insertion when there's discomfort and you just hold it there for a minute and then remove it for a minute's break. It's not fear inducing, it's relaxing, and it works.
Originally Posted by Boxingman
Question for the ladies here, have any of you while having anal sex had your partner go past your 2nd sphincter? I only ask because I often notice while reading how dozens of men who`ve been fucked and say they have been penetrated past theirs, yet I have never once seen a woman comment on it happening to her, yet surely women must have one too no?
I didn't know what this was, so I looked it up. I found one web page that said that the second sphincter is 1-2 inches inside your rectum, another that said that it's 6 inches inside your rectum. Could you tell us more? I don't know anything about it, although I've had difficulty accommodating the last part of TheBF's penis during anal sex, so a tighter spot deeper inside me would explain a lot. I've also experienced certain problems sometimes when I clean myself with an enema that would be explained by another sphincter deeper inside me that won't open and release when I wish it would.
I've figured out how to solve that problem now, but it used to drive me nuts.