I can't cum when getting head, what the F@#$!!!

My wife gives pretty good head most of the time, but freaking awesome head when she's realy into it, and is horny. She's stated that she likes my dick, likes feeling and squeezing it, and

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Old 08-29-2010   #1 (permalink)
sexcraz1 is offline

I can't cum when getting head, what the F@#$!!!

My wife gives pretty good head most of the time, but freaking awesome head when she's realy into it, and is horny. She's stated that she likes my dick, likes feeling and squeezing it, and how it feels in her mouth. Great right???

She's even practiced getting better at deep throating because when we've watched porn in the past, the girls seem to like doing it, and it's a big thing for guys. I personaly like the fact that she's a trooper, and practice that, and it does feel great, but i'm not over joyed about deep throating. It feels great either way.

The thing is i feel as though i'm going to cum while she's doing it, but never get over the last wall. She's stated long ago, that it does bug her that i can't cum because she feels as though she didn't do a good job, but i tell her she's very wrong. She's said think of it, as when you eat me out, i cum 9 out 10 times. What if i never came when you did it, wouldn't you be kind of upset.

Since that conversation it's been more the a couple of years, and i totally uderstood where shes was coming from, but what the hell man????? Why can't i. I cum when having sex just fine. I last for a very long time, but never-the-less get there. We both love sex, and she has a great body, that i'm very turned on by, but still have never came while getting heard unless fucking her, then pull out and she finishes me off in her mouth. She's stated now that she's pretty much over it, and she never really even think about it any more, but i'm sure if i did cum she would totally love it still.. Great sex life to which we are very very satified, but cuming when getting head would be great for both of us.

Married 13 years, together for 18....
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Old 08-29-2010   #2 (permalink)
NewAgeMan is offline

I've had the same problem. I've never cum from just straight head before. I attribute it to either the fact that receiving head is just not enough stimulation for me to go all the way because I'm used to doing it my own way on my own, or me being unable/unwilling to open up and communicate to my partner exactly how I want to be sucked because im afraid she will think I'm too dirty or something. Like you said (and also for me) its not realy a big problem because I can last long and make her cum every time. Usually I let her suck me off for a while then I take over and bring myself right to the edge and then have her finish me off.
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Old 08-29-2010   #3 (permalink)
Chase1600 is offline

Hi sexcraz1, I get how this is frustrating, but itís not the biggest issue anyone ever had. I wonder if you are making it a big issue which just might be a reason you are not cumming when your wife sucks you.

Based on my own experiences, these things are in our heads.

I assume you have no difficulty cumming when screwing or jerking off, so it is just this one behavior, is't it? Worded differently, your equipment works just fine, doesnít it, thereís something about this process of getting sucked that doesnít do it. Wonder what that could be? Is there something yucky about cumming in your wifeís mouth? A reasonable person might think this. Does this seem like something that doesnít fit how you feel about your wife?

If not, could there be something about the rhythm and pattern of movements she is using?

Trade places. As we are aware many women have difficulty orgasming with their men even if they are otherwise able. Often it must be a thing of trust and confidence, not necessarily lacking trust otherwise in oneís lover as a person, but not expecting that he, or in your case she, can maintain the correct rhythm. Being afraid our lover won't would probably do most of us in.

I think it must be very difficult to have an orgasm while worrying that Iím not going to have it.

Who knows.

As a gay man with decades experience giving blow jobs itís basically inconceivable to me that my buddy will not cum. Maybe Iím a better cock sucker than I think, but it doesnít seem to me to be material. Maybe, being male myself, I have a sense of what my fellow male partner is feeling.

For example, I am aware that I myself have a specific ďbestĒ spot which if I massage it will invariably lead to an orgasm.

You see, Iím a right hand jerker; on the right underside of my corona is a spot where my index finger rubs the frenulum beneath my corona or glans. Thatís my spot.

So here's what I'm thinking when I blow a guy. I always assume that if a guys dick curves right, the comparable spot on the right side will be ďhis spot.Ē The first thing I check if I'm going to blow a guy is his curve.

As I edge him up and down, dragging out his pleasure, I have to trust his breathing and thrusting to communicate to me when the time for edging has ended and he's ready to cum. Whatever else I am doing, I will massage this spot with my hand in synch with my mouth as a single organ. I assume he canít cum unless he knows what the rhythm is going to be and can trust completely that it will continue relentlessly.

You can do it like Bolero, accelerating ever so gradually, but even then, the pattern must be predictable. He must know what is happening or he wonít be able to release. At least thatís what I think.

Deep throating is great, but it would be very unusual, to my experience, for it to be the best way to get a guy to cum unless he's so ready, he'll do it anyhow.

I suspect a few women misunderstand how a maleís pleasure on his glans surface works. Are you like me? It feels too good. You have to be careful. I donít suck the glans side of the head expecting to lead a guy to orgasm. While getting him hot, you can play around with that and get him enjoying all the pleasure, but when it comes time to have an orgasm, I emphasize the underside, the area of frenulum.

My philosophy - who knows Iím just a run-of-the-mill cock sucker here - is that you make guys cum by making cock sucking an enhanced form of jerking off, not as a substitute for fucking.

Of course, there is probably more at work with my lifelong success. Iím blowing queers, letís face it, Iím not there on my knees sucking the unwilling or presumably the inexperienced. The guy expects to shoot and zip, biff bam.

Neither of us will be surprised when he does.

Last edited by Chase1600; 08-29-2010 at 03:03 PM..
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Old 08-29-2010   #4 (permalink)
bigsmile is offline

I don't usually cum from having my dick sucked either...its more foreplay for me...gets me really hard and ready. If a woman is really on a mission to get me to cum and has the patience to do it nice an slow then

the problem is there aren't many women who are into it like that...if it is just obligatory or just really doesn't turn her on then
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Old 08-29-2010   #5 (permalink)
curioustitan is offline

I've heard of this a couple of times before... more often than not (i'm going on a hunch here...so yes speaking under correction) it's a subconcious block.... Many guys have said that they just don't feel 'good' about their partners' mouth being the recepticle for their man-goo! Do you think this could be your problem...or at least an underlying problem....
In which case, it might be silly to ask, as you wouldn't really know...hence subconcious!
Try convincing yourself that nothing would be a better repository than your wife's mouth for your jizz and see if that takes.... Hey it's better than nothing!!

"i love sam_solo26"

Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
Olive Penderghast: Tom Cruise?

Olive Penderghast: [to Brandon as she takes off her panties] Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts? What do you think I have down there? A gnome?
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Old 08-29-2010   #6 (permalink)

my girlfriend gets really turned on and i could never cum!! even with previous girls!! but one time i was horny, and i concentrated EXTRA hard about everything under the sun!! i guided her in a certain way of doing it and hey presto....i did it! i dont come like other guys u know? after 20 seconds but i can now definately do it! its all about getting over that extra hurdle!
Old 08-29-2010   #7 (permalink)
bigtool4u is offline

I myself have the same issue as do a load of my friends. You are not alone, in fact I think it is common enough. Dont worry about it. It will take care of itself if you just relax and think sexy thoughts :)
I also dont like being up there "on my own". There are a load of things it can be. DOnt beat yourself up on this.
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Old 08-29-2010   #8 (permalink)
hardmuscle399 is offline

I think it's cause you have never had the right guy blowing ya
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Old 08-29-2010   #9 (permalink)
Brillig47 is offline

Well, sexcraz1, welcome to the club. Me too. I love being sucked, but there's something too focussed about it, and I just don't come. No probs with straight intercourse, just receiving oral doesn't do it for me. It's a mystery.
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Old 08-29-2010   #10 (permalink)
Account Disabled

THis is very common. A mouth just can't be as tight as a pussy.

Does she try with wrapping her hand around your shaft (and beating it off like crazy) and sucking on the head. Maybe that'll be what it takes to get there.

Also sometimes my wife's jaw gets sore so I'll just stroke it in front of her face while she sucks my balls (which I LOVE) and then go right back in her mouth a second or two before I'm ready to blow.
Old 08-29-2010   #11 (permalink)
Account Disabled

I've only cum from head once in my life, and that was as a young kid on the Staten Island Ferry. I knew that guys cruised there and walked in kinda curious, took a leak and then stopped and smiled at the "lookout". He pointed me to a stall where there were two guys, one on the john and one standing next to him slowly rubbing one out. The whole scene blew my mind so much that I popped my load in Mr John's mouth in less than two minutes, then zipped up and bolted, afraid of being spotted.
I haven't cum from head alone since then.
Old 08-29-2010   #12 (permalink)
D_Ezdras Dingledonger

Is she twisting her hand up and down as she sucks? That is the crucial element that makes me cum - without it, I flat-out can't. I also sometimes need her to use both hands twisting in opposite directions while she sucks my head. Either way, I definitely need both the mouth and fingers. So I would say experiment more with that for a while (trying slightly different techniques each time) and see how it goes.
Old 08-29-2010   #13 (permalink)
B_Hung Jon

I think everyone's comments on here have some truth in them. There's also the fact that some guys just need to have more stimulation of their dick to get off. I think it's a genetic thing. My dick is very sensitive and will respond to any stimulation... hands, mouths, pussies, body contact. I can cum from any other of those. But I think there are guys who are just the opposite and who need more rough treatment. I had a j/o buddy in high school who had to literally "beat" his dick really hard to come to orgasm. My other thought is that since I'm very aroused by any oral activity period, I have just the opposite problem in that a mouth on my dick makes me want to shoot immediately. So from my POV it's just what your sexual makeup is. You've got to understand and work with your personal levels of desire. It takes some practice maybe.
Old 08-29-2010   #14 (permalink)
jackingoff10 is offline

Are you uncut? That could be it?
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Old 08-29-2010   #15 (permalink)
Londonfields is offline

if you're cut, as i am, the head of your dick is less sensitive. i only cum thru sucking if (in my case) the guy doing the sucking really knows what to do and licks the head a lot with his tongue. otherwise, just sticking my cock into someone's mouth doesn't do it for me.
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cum, f@#$, head

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