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Wife wont let me go down on her

I dont understand why my wife wont let me eat her pussy. I really enjoy doing this, and other women have told me I'm very good at it. She claims she "just doesnt like it".

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Old 03-08-2006   #1 (permalink)
wrench is offline

Wife wont let me go down on her

I dont understand why my wife wont let me eat her pussy. I really enjoy doing this, and other women have told me I'm very good at it. She claims she "just doesnt like it". Is this common?
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Old 03-08-2006   #2 (permalink)
wonderland is offline


Some women just do not like oral sex, not many I know but a couple of women told me they do not enjoy it. Talk to her and maybe she can give you a better understanding of what she dislikes about it.
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Old 03-08-2006   #3 (permalink)
D_Barbi_Queue is offline
Account Disabled


When I was younger and less experienced, I was always worried about what I smelled like or possibly tasted like...too much time around guys saying that women smelled like fish, etc. It makes a woman pretty self conscience. Then I met my husband. Early on in our dating, he told me that I tasted good....and that always made me feel better about myself.
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Old 03-08-2006   #4 (permalink)
windtalkerways is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by wrench
I dont understand why my wife wont let me eat her pussy. I really enjoy doing this, and other women have told me I'm very good at it. She claims she "just doesnt like it". Is this common?
Some women have hangups for
so many reasons.

They think it's not what good girls
enjoy, they worry about how they
look 'there', possible odour...etc etc
etc


I suppose it's best to maybe find out
why she won't let you be a carpet
muncher...if she says why, you can
try to allay her fears and tell her it's
your fondest wish to please her in
this manner.

Good luck!

Last edited by windtalkerways; 03-08-2006 at 11:06 PM..
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Old 03-08-2006   #5 (permalink)
Mumzi is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by wrench
I dont understand why my wife wont let me eat her pussy. I really enjoy doing this, and other women have told me I'm very good at it. She claims she "just doesnt like it". Is this common?
Yes, it is common for someone who just isn't comfortable with that. She has a right to like some things, and not others. But that doesn't mean you should give up.
Many women feel this is an "yucky" part of the body. Our parts are so internal and moist all the time, and we urinate from that area....and sometimes women just don't see it as a sexy place. They find it hard to imagine why you would.

Now, it is your job to convince her that it is beautiful, and you find her beautiful ALL over.
You cannot push the issue tho. You surely don't want to make her feel guilty.
It depends on a lot of things: how long you have been together, how she feels about sex, how she feels about her body- and probably what she was taught about sex.

Then you have the initial feelings of being so vulnerable. Having intercourse allows the female to be held, and somewhat covered by her mates body. Having oral sex is a more vulnerable position, she may not be comfortable being totally naked...AND she may feel uncomfortable allowing you to see her react. Can you see where I'm going here?
There may be many reasons for her feelings and you really have no options but to be patient and be the one she can trust with her body and her feelings.

I had 3 partners before my husband, but I never had oral sex with anyone else.
For me it was not the feeling that there was anything wrong with that part of the body, it was more that I was not experienced and not comfortable with my sexuality. Not comfortable being that vulnerable- or feeling vulnerable. Not being comfortable showing my most private feelings to someone.

My husband didn't even give it a try until after we were married, he may have realized I wasn't comfortable. But he would often kiss me all over my belly, though just a few kisses and then stop.
Eventually he'd kiss my belly and then he'd kiss my labia- but he didn't touch anything, nor put his tongue inside, and they were quick, playful kisses. Then he would stop and not take that any further. I think this loosed me up to the idea and I became much more comfortable with him playing in that area. But, the fact that he would stop also let me know that he would stop if I wanted him to.

Eventually one day he'd kiss a little further and I realized I liked that, but more importantly I was comfortable with it.
He was (and still is) very attuned to my feelings and how I reacted.

Have patience and respect her views. When we love someone, we accept them warts and all.
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Old 03-08-2006   #6 (permalink)
Pecker is offline
Retired Moderator


Maybe it's your breath.
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Old 03-08-2006   #7 (permalink)
dfox7.3x5 is offline


Mumzi, you have a great husband. I'm sure you know that. I hope you guys live to be 100 and are still "doing it" then.
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Old 03-09-2006   #8 (permalink)
citygirl is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by wrench
I dont understand why my wife wont let me eat her pussy. I really enjoy doing this, and other women have told me I'm very good at it. She claims she "just doesnt like it". Is this common?
It sounds like your wife is self-conscious about her body and/or private area. She could view the area as a dirty forbidden area (as someone else mentioned) or she could just feel very sensitive to any kind of touching there. When the time and mood is right talk to her about it and see what she's feeling. Or during an intimate moment kiss her slowly from head to toe, and over time slowly work your way into the promise land.
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Old 03-09-2006   #9 (permalink)
rawbone8 is offline


There are so many possible reasons, many already posted. It's not that uncommon.

Some women have no ability to relax if feeling self conscious, and their partner's face is so far away from hers. A 69 position would give her something fun to do so she's not feeling disconnected from the rest of you. Be vocal and gentle. Be confident. She may melt in the face of your ardour if you make it obvious to her that you get off on her pleasure. Convince her to be pampered and enjoy the tlc.

A remote possibility to consider is that some women have had a traumatic experience in the past. Being shamed about their bodies. And sadly, I've known two women who revealed that they had been sexually abused in childhood or teen years, and felt really too uncomfortable with the act.

Last edited by rawbone8; 03-09-2006 at 04:23 AM..
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Old 03-09-2006   #10 (permalink)
Mumzi is offline


As much as I believe in discussing things and good communication, I think actions are just as important.
And, I'm not that sure that '69' would be a good idea. If she is hesitant about oral sex - '69' may freak her totally.
I'm sure you know something about your wife's thoughts and fears. If she is body conscious, I think you would know that. You have to consider her past: has she had much experience- do you think you'd be the first to do this (I'm assuming you are, but if not, then has she had a bad experience?)

I appreciate the way my husband handled the situation because I didn't feel pressured or guilty.
When he'd give me those quick little kisses it was very asexual. Very playful, and a few times he'd
give me a 'razzberry' kiss, like you'd give a baby to make them laugh.
And that would me me laugh. It made the entire issue much less serious, and more interesting.
The fact that he'd do this and then stop, took the pressure off me, and allowed me to go at my own speed.

What was I thinking as a young woman who was just experiencing my sexuality? Probably much the same as any young woman or woman coming into her own sexuality.

I knew people had oral sex, as a nurse I surely knew the human body. I wasn't shy about being naked, didn't have any body issues- so that wasn't my hang-up.
I knew people liked oral sex and I knew my husband probably did too. I knew that we hadn't done that and he probably wanted to.
So, as a woman I knew all that. But, you also have to consider that I probably heard all kinds of descriptions about sex from girlfriends, probably read all kinds articles in cosmo- and all that info was included in what I thought I knew.

So, I'm sure I felt self conscious about my performance. I'm sure I felt embarrassed and wondered how I was supposed to act. What if I look funny? Could I have an orgasm - just like that? How silly would I look or sound, and how much did all I'd heard and read affect me and how I felt about sex.
I wondered 'what if I don't like that'? Once I do that, will he always expect me to do that?
Is there something wrong with me? Was I supposed to feel like the women in the magazine, what if I don't- and will my husband think less of me? Sounds complicated, I know.


I know so much more now, and I have the confidence now that I didn't then. I also know that much I had read and heard from friends was not always the truth! Now I know I don't have to be anything but me.
I'm far more comfortable with my sexuality, and of course much of that is being with someone I love, and time.

I did not get much in the way of sex education; in fact I was told only that " when a man and woman want to have a baby- he puts his penis in a special place between her legs and sends a special fluid to grow the baby".
Much of what I heard was the emphasis on being "a good girl". Be a lady. I don't know; was laying on your back with your legs spread and moaning being a lady?
There was a big part of me that didn't think so! I had to get past that.

I think my husband handled the situation well. At least for me. By keeping it very playful and stopping at that, I didn't feel guild, nor did I feel pressured.
That allowed me to relax and think about the fact that I did like the way it felt, and found myself thinking about that more and more. I soon became curious- on my own. Without the thoughts of feeling pressured or feeling guilty cluttering up my mind, I was able to think more on my own terms.

It was probably 5 moths from the time that my husband first kissed the lower part of my belly to the first time we tried oral sex. But it happened because I wanted him to go a 'little' further!

You know, no matter what the issue, you can't make someone like something that they are not comfortable with. Can't pressure them or shame them. It just does not work.
There are so many reasons behind people's fears and dislikes; and the reason can often affect the outcome.

Taking this slowly and with great patience can mean the difference between her one day just begrudgingly allowing you there, or actually enjoying you there.

And dfox7.3x5....thanks!
Mumzi is offline  
Old 03-09-2006   #11 (permalink)
rawbone8 is offline


Great advice Mumzi.
Your perspective seems quite wise and valuable,
especially the last part

one day just begrudgingly allowing you there,
or actually enjoying you there
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Old 03-09-2006   #12 (permalink)
PussyWellington is offline


Suggestion:

Start by taking showers and baths together. Start washing her with a soft sponge. Start somewhere "safe", like her neck. Continue to gently wash her body. Each time that you bathe together and wash each other you will have achieved more intimacy with each other. That could be an underlying issue which is making her uncomfortable. I suspect that she doesn't really like going down on you.

Good luck and take things slowly.
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Old 03-09-2006   #13 (permalink)
Mattness is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by wrench
I dont understand why my wife wont let me eat her pussy. I really enjoy doing this, and other women have told me I'm very good at it. She claims she "just doesnt like it". Is this common?
Does she go down on you?

If she does, tell her it's only fair that you go down on her!

If she DOESN'T...that's wrong.
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Old 03-09-2006   #14 (permalink)
stud_hunter is offline
Banned


Quote:
Originally Posted by wrench
I dont understand why my wife wont let me eat her pussy. I really enjoy doing this, and other women have told me I'm very good at it. She claims she "just doesnt like it". Is this common?
Like some others have said, it's possible she feels self-conscious or "icky". But it's also possible that oral just isn't her thing. I think it's important to know if she actively dislikes receiving oral, or if she just finds it boring. If she really dislikes it, then it may have something to do with body-image or some other hangup. But it's a myth that every woman loves oral. Personally, I like it, but for me oral gets boring after a couple minutes, even if the guy is really good at it. The outside of my clit just isn't as sensitive as the inside (labia) or my G-spot. So for me brief oral is nice but it just doesn't make me cum like a thick, hard cock skillfully working my insides! So ask her why she doesn't like it and be flexible to what she likes.

Last edited by stud_hunter; 03-09-2006 at 07:26 AM..
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Old 03-09-2006   #15 (permalink)
PILEDRIVER is offline


i say its her loss, she does not know what she is missing out on, i feel sorry for you dude

IF YOU FUCK THEN YOU WILL GET FUCKED
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