Originally Posted by dolfette
your input would be most welcome.
Well again I'll qualify, I don't enjoy inflicting pain on a guy unless he's willing and enjoying himself. inflicting pain on someone who's unwilling and isn't enjoying themselves is a form of violence, enjoying violence is a pathology.
I should also say that I don't enjoy causing my sexual partners pain everytime I fuck them or even a majority of the time. If that were the case I would feel I wasn't doing it right.
Having said that, having a big dick shoved in your arse can sometimes hurt, especially if you're not used to it, or haven't had much preparation, or if the sex is itself extremely vigorous.
I enjoy the feeling that my sexual partners are both extremely eager and horny and very pleased indeed to be having sex with me. I've said elsewhere that the feeling that my partner is extremely focused on and turned on by me, my dick and me fucking them is a huge turn on for me. I'm dominant, I'm not a sadist, I do sometimes enjoy rough aggressive sex, though by no means always.
To me the fact that a bottom is enjoying some degree of pain for a short period of time because of how much they want to be fucked by me is very arousing. The sharp intakes of breath, the squeal, the cursing, the moment where you hesitate for half a second as if to say "do you want me to stop?" and they reach back and pull you deeper into them or settle back onto your cock as if to say "fuck no! I love it, just fuck me!", or having them beg you to fuck them harder or rougher, watching the pain turn into pleasure or knowing the pain is in fact part of the pleasure can all be signs I'm about to have a roocking hot fuck with a guy who loves being fucked by me and who loves feeling my dick inside him even if (or perhaps because) he has to grit his teeth or bite the matress for a while.
In the context of having a rough and frantic quickie or sometimes in the context of a scene with overt or implicit BDSM undertones knowing a bottom is enjoying the pain from being stretched or deeply penetrated by me is extremely hot. Cherry popping, and "breaking a guy in" is another aspect of this which is a turnon too.
Associated with this are other forms of infliction of pain which can be hot, choking a guy with my cock, slapping him (face or arse or anywhere else he enjoys
being slapped), biting, manhandelling, restraint, pulling his hair, etc, all in the context of knowing without any question that the guy enjoys these things can be highly erotic.
I do not enjoy the thought or reality of hurting a guy throughout sex, nor do I enjoy the thought of causing pain to a guy against his will and without him enjoying it. I like to make a guy cum from me fuckking him, and that's only going to happen is he's enjoying himself, and I love knowing that whatever I'm doing turns him on.
As well as nice, good, clean boys who like to get a little freaky sometimes, I also like filthy abandoned sluts who are turned on by a degree of humiliation and will get pleasure from pain just because they love my dick and the way I fuck them with it.
Do I like a bottom to feel pain every time I fuck them? No, not at all. I would find that a turnoff. If I'm not sure a guy is enjoying himself and/or he has pain everytime or throughout then I would feel a) I'm not doing it right and b) that he wasn't relaxed and turned on. It being a struggle to fuck a guy because he can't take me is horrid and can completely kill the chemistry. It can be equally, sometimes more, enjoyable to know a bottom feels no pain at all and is more than ready and able for me to fuck the living daylights out of him without a second's hesitation or so much as a moment's discomfort.
Do I enjoy passionate and sensual sex in which no pain is involved at all? Yes, hell yes, all day and every day. Do I enjoy making love as much as I enjoy rough, mean fucking? Yes, hell yes, all day every day. My tastes and fantasies are broad and I bore easily and have as much need for and to give affection and intimacy as anyone else.
But I wouldn't deny, in fact I'm happy to admit, that with all the caveats above in mind, knowing there's some pain involved in me making a bottom cum and knowing he needs me and my dick and the way I fuck him enough to enjoy it (and of course knowing that everything I'm doing is by consent and with his enthusiasm) sometimes and in the right situations
is extremely sexy and pushes some of my buttons. It's an alpha/beta thing which appeals to something half understood and only dimly recognised in my subconcious.
There is I think a difference between what I enjoy and the pathology of enjoying sexual violence of a non-consenting nature. The latter is a sign of a diseased or disordered psyche, and I'm nothing if not well-adjusted.