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men who get off on inflicting pain on a woman during sex.

Originally Posted by dolfette because society tells us that bigger is always better, even to the point where bigger becomes too painful to use? One woman's pleasure is another woman's pain. Too big incompatability is

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Old 06-09-2011   #31 (permalink)
Drifterwood is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by dolfette View Post
because society tells us that bigger is always better, even to the point where bigger becomes too painful to use?
One woman's pleasure is another woman's pain. Too big incompatability is a miserable place to be as has been discussed on the board many times over the years.

I would be surprised if any man was not susceptible to the pleasure of satisfying his partner's needs. But some men (boys IMO) put the cart beofre the horse and presume, because of what you say above, that ramming their big dicks in is all it takes. As ManB was saying, these men are objectifying women (and men maybe, I don't know) simply as a tool to feed their egos. I imagine that they would run a mile if they find a woman who can take them comfortably.

A link should support your point, not be your point.
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Old 06-09-2011   #32 (permalink)
D_Tim McGnaw is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dolfette View Post

your input would be most welcome.

Well again I'll qualify, I don't enjoy inflicting pain on a guy unless he's willing and enjoying himself. inflicting pain on someone who's unwilling and isn't enjoying themselves is a form of violence, enjoying violence is a pathology.


I should also say that I don't enjoy causing my sexual partners pain everytime I fuck them or even a majority of the time. If that were the case I would feel I wasn't doing it right.

Having said that, having a big dick shoved in your arse can sometimes hurt, especially if you're not used to it, or haven't had much preparation, or if the sex is itself extremely vigorous.


I enjoy the feeling that my sexual partners are both extremely eager and horny and very pleased indeed to be having sex with me. I've said elsewhere that the feeling that my partner is extremely focused on and turned on by me, my dick and me fucking them is a huge turn on for me. I'm dominant, I'm not a sadist, I do sometimes enjoy rough aggressive sex, though by no means always.

To me the fact that a bottom is enjoying some degree of pain for a short period of time because of how much they want to be fucked by me is very arousing. The sharp intakes of breath, the squeal, the cursing, the moment where you hesitate for half a second as if to say "do you want me to stop?" and they reach back and pull you deeper into them or settle back onto your cock as if to say "fuck no! I love it, just fuck me!", or having them beg you to fuck them harder or rougher, watching the pain turn into pleasure or knowing the pain is in fact part of the pleasure can all be signs I'm about to have a roocking hot fuck with a guy who loves being fucked by me and who loves feeling my dick inside him even if (or perhaps because) he has to grit his teeth or bite the matress for a while.

In the context of having a rough and frantic quickie or sometimes in the context of a scene with overt or implicit BDSM undertones knowing a bottom is enjoying the pain from being stretched or deeply penetrated by me is extremely hot. Cherry popping, and "breaking a guy in" is another aspect of this which is a turnon too.


Associated with this are other forms of infliction of pain which can be hot, choking a guy with my cock, slapping him (face or arse or anywhere else he enjoys being slapped), biting, manhandelling, restraint, pulling his hair, etc, all in the context of knowing without any question that the guy enjoys these things can be highly erotic.


I do not enjoy the thought or reality of hurting a guy throughout sex, nor do I enjoy the thought of causing pain to a guy against his will and without him enjoying it. I like to make a guy cum from me fuckking him, and that's only going to happen is he's enjoying himself, and I love knowing that whatever I'm doing turns him on.


As well as nice, good, clean boys who like to get a little freaky sometimes, I also like filthy abandoned sluts who are turned on by a degree of humiliation and will get pleasure from pain just because they love my dick and the way I fuck them with it.

Do I like a bottom to feel pain every time I fuck them? No, not at all. I would find that a turnoff. If I'm not sure a guy is enjoying himself and/or he has pain everytime or throughout then I would feel a) I'm not doing it right and b) that he wasn't relaxed and turned on. It being a struggle to fuck a guy because he can't take me is horrid and can completely kill the chemistry. It can be equally, sometimes more, enjoyable to know a bottom feels no pain at all and is more than ready and able for me to fuck the living daylights out of him without a second's hesitation or so much as a moment's discomfort.

Do I enjoy passionate and sensual sex in which no pain is involved at all? Yes, hell yes, all day and every day. Do I enjoy making love as much as I enjoy rough, mean fucking? Yes, hell yes, all day every day. My tastes and fantasies are broad and I bore easily and have as much need for and to give affection and intimacy as anyone else.

But I wouldn't deny, in fact I'm happy to admit, that with all the caveats above in mind, knowing there's some pain involved in me making a bottom cum and knowing he needs me and my dick and the way I fuck him enough to enjoy it (and of course knowing that everything I'm doing is by consent and with his enthusiasm) sometimes and in the right situations is extremely sexy and pushes some of my buttons. It's an alpha/beta thing which appeals to something half understood and only dimly recognised in my subconcious.



There is I think a difference between what I enjoy and the pathology of enjoying sexual violence of a non-consenting nature. The latter is a sign of a diseased or disordered psyche, and I'm nothing if not well-adjusted.

Last edited by D_Tim McGnaw; 06-09-2011 at 04:15 PM..
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Old 06-09-2011   #33 (permalink)
Drifterwood is offline


I can't see that your orientation makes your sexuality any different from mine, Hilly. Just the odd degree here or there, and I think you describe the difference in passion/expression/consensuality and pathology very well.

A link should support your point, not be your point.
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Old 06-09-2011   #34 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


mostly the guys i attract have an absolute horror of inflicting pain, and it's not often i get with a guy who is willing to inflict even consensual suffering. the guys i end up with will usually leap back, full of apologies, at a yelp or wince.

but i'm friends with a few guys who get off on women in pain. not is a hawt bondage sense either. they like the idea that she's being a good girl, biting her lip and taking it for him...which is an angle nobody has mentioned yet. she's not enjoying it, but she'll put up with it because his enjoyment is more important.

love is a lie
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Old 06-09-2011   #35 (permalink)
B_Hickboy is offline
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Hurting people is overrated. If MB wanted to be hurt, I would give her what she asked for. But I'm pretty sure that the only pleasure I'd get from it would be derived from competently giving her a good time. I have deliberately injured a few people in my time, and it gave me no joy.

What do want?
A CURE FOR TOURETTE'S!!!
When do we want it?
CUNT!!!
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Old 06-09-2011   #36 (permalink)
luka82 is offline


The tops I date have to good subs;)
Having said that, pain is not for me in any form:):):)

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Old 06-09-2011   #37 (permalink)
ManlyBanisters is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by dolfette View Post
they like the idea that she's being a good girl, biting her lip and taking it for him...which is an angle nobody has mentioned yet. she's not enjoying it, but she'll put up with it because his enjoyment is more important.
I don't see those guys as any different from the second group I mentioned:

Quote:
Originally Posted by ManlyBanisters View Post
The other is where the guy doesn't take the woman's feelings into consideration at all, where he is a small enough human being to think that his dick causing someone pain makes him more virile. These men do tend to focus on the penis - though forcing the woman into positions that do not suit her but make the angle / feel of penetration better or allow him a specific view of something would be another behaviour I would associate with this type of man. These men are not good fucks.
Why would anyone be OK with his (or her) partner suffering so he (or she) can get his (or her) rocks off?

I don't have a top quality mattress on my bed and I know sometimes it kills Hick's knees when we're fucking. I never want him to put up with the knee flaying just so I can cum because I like the angle we get when he's kneeling in the position that hurts him. I know sometimes he grins and bears it because he's enjoy all the other physical sensations - but it is totally his call when to stop and change positions. I can't think myself into a mindset where I want him to shut up and take the knee pain in order to get me my orgasm, never mind that I'd actually get off on him 'taking it'. Ick.

I don't need to fight to prove I'm right.
I don't need to be forgiven.
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Old 06-09-2011   #38 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


i see the difference.

people are always more complex than A or B.
you slot a lot of motivations into those two pigeon holes. that's enough for you, but not for me.

love is a lie
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Old 06-09-2011   #39 (permalink)
ManlyBanisters is offline


I'm not denying there are a great many levels of different behaviour and motivation - but, yes, it does come down to 2 basics, either you care about your partner's discomfort or you don't.

I don't need to fight to prove I'm right.
I don't need to be forgiven.
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Old 06-09-2011   #40 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


some care, as in they dislike it.

some care, as in they love it, for various reasons.

some don't care, as in it's irrelevant to them. pain, no pain, same same. as long as they're getting theirs.

i would say that's three.

love is a lie
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Old 06-09-2011   #41 (permalink)
ManlyBanisters is offline


Pedantic bint - you know what I meant.

I don't need to fight to prove I'm right.
I don't need to be forgiven.
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Old 06-09-2011   #42 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


me??? i'm so offended xx

love is a lie
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Old 06-09-2011   #43 (permalink)
B_Jordan85 is offline
Banned


wouldn't a guy who likes to do this compensating for other things?

Not all Republicans are racist, but if you are racist you are most likely a Republican
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Old 06-09-2011   #44 (permalink)
D_Tim McGnaw is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordan85 View Post
wouldn't a guy who likes to do this compensating for other things?


I don't know, what do you think I'm compensating for then?
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Old 06-09-2011   #45 (permalink)
KTF40 is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by dolfette View Post
because society tells us that bigger is always better, even to the point where bigger becomes too painful to use?
I don't think society tells us that. However, it's more like women lie and cannot always be counted on to be truthful about these kind of things. But if there is actual pain and you can tell she is in physical distress, I don't have to take her word for it.
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