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Jonah Falcon

I put Jonah Falcon in the same catagory as the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot. Back in 1999 a production team filmed a little pseudo-scientific documentary on how men feel about their schlongs. It was

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Old 09-20-2005   #136 (permalink)
thirteenbyseven is offline


I put Jonah Falcon in the same catagory as the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot. Back in 1999 a production team filmed a little pseudo-scientific documentary on how men feel about their schlongs. It was filmed over the summer and subsequently aired during an Autumn sweeps month on HBO as "Private Dicks." Some stations balked at the shocking double ententre nature of the title, especially since it had nothing to do with Conan Doyles investigative team of Holmes & Watson.

Jonah, then in his late twenties, about 5' 9" and 160 (in his pre-hippopotamus days) came out from masturbating in the bathroom of his mother's New York apartment long enough to be photographed and interviewed for the HBO special. I know for a fact from impeccable sources that he was not measured at erection during that shoot, and could not muster any sort of erection despite pulling on the damn thing for all it was worth and frantically maintaining "this is just my regular- it gets to 12", 13" and 14." To the utterly bored camera crew, he was like a child telling his teacher that a Wholly Mammoth really did eat his homework.

To this date, I have seen no verified evidence that he has ever been officially measured by the BBC, HBO or Al Jazeera for that matter. So he remains an enigma, a man-child who has perpetuated a myth for years from his less than 8 minutes of fame. Indeed the only photo I have seen of Jonah with a full erection shows him holding his organ along side his forearm with a painful grimace on his face. Extrapolating his height and sleeve length, it appears to be approximately 9.5" in length or essentially the same figure as many photos depict, no doubt after Jonah's done some vigorous vacuum pumping and thinking good thoughts.
thirteenbyseven is offline  
Old 09-20-2005   #137 (permalink)
Dr Rock is offline


speaking as yet another witness to it in real life (albeit from across a fairly large and crowded room): big? certainly. thirteen inches? no way.
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Old 09-20-2005   #138 (permalink)
Britannic is offline


I try to avoid posting on "Jonah" threads, as a long time friend of his. I'm not here to confirm his size claims, that's Jonah's responsibility, so don't ask me to do it. I've seen his dick and I know exactly how big it is. We dated for a short time many (over 10) years ago.

All I will say on the matter is that he is very large and thick headed (both above the neck and below the waist). It's really a shame that he rubs people the wrong way because he is a good person. If you don't believe him, then don't. If you do, you do. But no matter what he says or does, being insulting or rude towards him is behavior that is very unbecoming of each and every member of this support group.
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Old 01-12-2006   #139 (permalink)
mjtb1981 is offline


Anyone got anything on this guy? He was in The Sun (British newspaper...ish) as having the biggest manhood at 13.5 inches?!
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Old 01-12-2006   #140 (permalink)
D_alex8 is offline
Member


The Sun is doing what it always does when news is thin --- recycling an old story from 2+ years ago.

Falcon's cock is allegedly 9.5" flaccid and 13.5" erect, but who can say if that's really true?

The original story in Rolling Stone from 2003 is excerpted near the top of this page:
http://www.dazereader.com/week_2003_06_01.htm

And, standing in on Pecker-duty:
http://www.staticbeth.com/cocks/jonah1.jpg
http://www.staticbeth.com/newj1_.jpg
http://www.staticbeth.com/newj8_.jpg
http://www.staticbeth.com/JonahSoft.jpg

...although there is plenty more about this self-promoting wannabe on the net.
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Old 01-12-2006   #141 (permalink)
Pecker is offline
Retired Moderator


Thanks, Alex. I didn't care to look up this guy, whose only claim to fame is that apparently his momma ironed his dick when he was a kid.
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Old 01-12-2006   #142 (permalink)
D_alex8 is offline
Member


By way of an update, it would seem that Jonah has filled out a little (I'm trying being polite about a two-bit schmuck, dammit) since the other pictures were taken in 2003

http://www.wilt.be/images/nieuws/jonah.jpg
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Old 01-12-2006   #143 (permalink)
D_Elijah_MorganWood is offline
Banned


AGAIN??!!

Who cares about his cock, he's a slimy, dreadful human being.
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Old 01-12-2006   #144 (permalink)
Dr Rock is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by alex8
Falcon's cock is allegedly 9.5" flaccid and 13.5" erect, but who can say if that's really true?
well i can, having seen it at a range of 10 feet or so. and it isn't.
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Old 01-12-2006   #145 (permalink)
MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK is offline


Don't we ever get tired of posting about this pitiful excuse for a man?

Honestly, in the last eighteen months, there have been more rendtions of jonah falcon than I care to remember willingly.

Ya ain't seen an attitude like a North jerseyan attitude. Hey,hetero 5'10", 185 lbs, brown/black hair, hazel green eyes, 10.5X7.5, looking for that very special romance.

I'm not interested in getting PM's from complete strangers, nor do I wish any solicitations about cock size, getting together. etc. So trust me when I tell you that you will be deleted from my message banks and put on ignore.

If I don't know you, you aren't getting a friendship request approved.
MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK is offline  
Old 01-12-2006   #146 (permalink)
Hryblkone is offline


Working as an extra on a film in New York at Columbia university. I recognized him after a few minutes. He kept droning on and on (to himself even) during the entire shoot. Hard to believe someone like this is walking around with such a thing. What a waste! I hope he isn't SAG eligible.
Hryblkone is offline  
Old 01-13-2006   #147 (permalink)
D_alex8 is offline
Member


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hryblkone
Working as an extra on a film in New York at Columbia university. I recognized him after a few minutes. He kept droning on and on (to himself even) during the entire shoot. Hard to believe someone like this is walking around with such a thing. What a waste! I hope he isn't SAG eligible.
Personally, I imagine him sat there at home lurking on every thread in which his name is mentioned
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Old 01-13-2006   #148 (permalink)
MsLulu is offline


Who the heck is he and why does his penis look funky?

-------------------------------
I did not design this game
I did not name the stakes
I just happen to like apples
And i am not afraid of snakes
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Old 01-13-2006   #149 (permalink)
thirteenbyseven is offline


Does he still live with his mother at the age of 35?
thirteenbyseven is offline  
Old 01-13-2006   #150 (permalink)
D_alex8 is offline
Member


Quote:
Originally Posted by thirteenbyseven
Does he still live with his mother at the age of 35?
Who else would have him?
D_alex8 is offline  

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