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desensitizing or numbing spray

I sometimes have a problem with coming to quickly with my girlfriend. I think it is more mental because I notice I peak when she starts to moan loud. I think its just that I

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Old 11-07-2011   #1 (permalink)
whoopya is offline

desensitizing or numbing spray

I sometimes have a problem with coming to quickly with my girlfriend. I think it is more mental because I notice I peak when she starts to moan loud. I think its just that I get pleasure from her getting pleasure. But I was wonder if anyone has tried and desensitizing spray or condoms that have it on it. I've heard that sometimes and can cause the girl to get numb as well. Or it may cause you not to stay hard.

Does anyone have experience with any of these products?

Which are the best if so?

Thanks
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Old 11-08-2011   #2 (permalink)
D_Alec_Baldtwins is offline
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I've not used them, but from what I know, desensitizing creams and sprays contain small amounts of lidocaine or some other topical anesthetic, so yes, they can in theory transfer from your cock to your girlfriend's mouth, vagina, or whatever, and numb her up a bit. Whether in fact it can transfer in sufficient quantity to numb her, I'm not sure, but it would be a fun experiment.

Have you tried concentrating on something else when she starts to moan? I think the time-honored thing is your grandmother in a bikini... :)
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Old 11-08-2011   #3 (permalink)
B_stanmarsh14 is offline
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Yep, tried these creams and sprays, and caused me no end of problems.

Best trick I have found for myself, is get a Fleashlite, and follow their 10 min plan for lasting, along with the stop / go method.
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Old 11-08-2011   #4 (permalink)
D_Terry_Tugnuts is offline
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Those condoms with a delay substance inside seem to work for me, but if you are barebacking your girl suggest you use the tried and tested method of making yourself cum an hour or two before you fuck her.

Or just keep on fucking her after you've cum, you should be able to stay hard if you're young enough.
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Old 11-08-2011   #5 (permalink)
Riven650 is offline


I used to suffer from premature ejaculation when I was young. I think we're basically designed to do that to ensure that we impregnate the girl. But her pleasure is also important so we see coming quickly as a problem. I tried numbing sprays but I don't like them. Eventually I got my head around the problem and I see it as:
A) High libido because your testosterone is probably as high as it'll ever be, so you get very excited about and by sex.
B) High sensitivity on your part because you're young and healthy.
C) Anxiety caused by being eager to please your lover.

As a young man you shouldn't really mess about with your testosterone, so that rules out doing anything about A.
I don't like desensitising sprays/condoms because they spoil the nice feelings, so I don't think you should do anything about B.
C is where you can really tackle the problem. I'd like to start by saying that trying to think of something revolting during sex is a pretty horrid idea, and if I was your gf I'd be pretty disturbed by the idea that you're thinking of your granny as you fuck me. Ew!

So what can you do? Firstly communicate. Talk to your gf because a problem shared is a problem halved. She wants to help you have great sex too.
Lets go back and look at A and B and see if we can turn a problems into opportunities. You're young and fit, so use it to your advantage. You should be able to reload and go again much more quickly than someone of my age, so why not make use of that. MAKE SURE YOU'VE HAD PLENTY OF SLEEP, AND TAKE YOUR TIME OVER SEX. Have some relaxed sex with your girl, maybe do oral on each other, because it tastes nice, eh? Give her an orgasm. Straight away you'll reduce your performance anxiety by doing that, and then at least you'll have proved to yourself and her that you're not a selfish lover - in fact, you're pretty damn good. After a break you'll be up an ready to go again. Second time round you'll have far less of a tendency to come so soon.
My next advice is to do with technique. Let your girl know that you'd like her to try to relax and let you dictate the pace. Instead of spectacular long and fast strokes, bury your cock in her pussy and gently nudge her with the root. Go at a pace that you know keeps you the right side of orgasm. If you feel you're getting there too soon, slow down and maybe stop to get back into the 'safe zone' where you don't feel in danger of coming immediately. Keep at this and she'll learn to let her orgasm build without the need for fast tense action. It'll take a few sessions but by trial and error, but they aren't really errors, because it all feels good and if you lose control and come your gf knows that's only because you love the feeling of fucking her so much. Eventually, she will come on your cock and her pussy going wild will trigger your own. That's what we're talking about isn't it? Keep the faith. It will happen.
All the best.

'I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.' Kurt Vonnegut
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Old 11-08-2011   #6 (permalink)
pcghabsy is offline


Be careful how much you use it though. I have tried those long lasting condoms a couple of times and they delayed orgasm alright.... indefinitely. It's impossible for me to cum with those on! Is delaying your orgasm worth it for a significant loss of pleasure?

As you say, it is largely mental. Personally, I am not sure if it is a good idea to take your mind away from a pleasurable moment. Remember that you can always get it back after a short break and go at it again. Or there are many other ways other than your penis to pleasure a woman. But if you really want to, here's a very easy and not too much deviating thing you can try - when she's moaning, try talking to her.
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Old 11-08-2011   #7 (permalink)
whoopya is offline


Thanks for all of the tips I really appreciate it. Riven your response really helped. I have bought some trojan extened pleasure condoms just to try them out. I have tried to think about other things and it does help but not when I am really trying to fuck her. It only helps when we are having a more slow paced sex. I will update with my experience with the product.
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Old 11-08-2011   #8 (permalink)
Riven650 is offline


Very glad to help if I can. Main thing is not to worry about it. Talk to your gf. If she's a sensible she'll be only too happy to work with you on this. After all, she stands to gain too.
We will be pleased to hear how it goes. But don't expect to fix it overnight. It'll take time for you both to learn a new approach.
Good luck.

'I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.' Kurt Vonnegut
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Old 11-08-2011   #9 (permalink)
Carl_XL is offline


for anal sex lube with lidocaine helps relaxing at the recieving end. very nice to go at it for a long time!
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Old 11-12-2011   #10 (permalink)
whoopya is offline


update: I have used the condom extended pleasure condoms and I think they really helped. I was able to really have intense sex for over an hour when normally I would not be able to last that long. The numbing was too powerful either. If anyone else was thinking about using them I would definitely suggest them.
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