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How to get wife to loosen up?

I've been married for about 8 months. My wife is very "lady" like and doesn't get into sexual things very much. We have sex but she has a problem talking dirty, etc. Does anyone have

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Old 11-12-2011   #1 (permalink)
marshall84 is offline

How to get wife to loosen up?

I've been married for about 8 months. My wife is very "lady" like and doesn't get into sexual things very much. We have sex but she has a problem talking dirty, etc. Does anyone have any experience making a good girl a little more sexual or naughty?
marshall84 is offline  
Old 11-12-2011   #2 (permalink)
monel is offline


Yes. I do have some experience with this which leads me to believe the situation will unlikely change very much.
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Old 11-12-2011   #4 (permalink)
ManlyBanisters is offline


Married 8 months, ok - together how long? Has it always been this way? What ages are you? Has she had other partners before you? If yes how many? When you say 'talking dirty, etc.' what do you mean by 'etc.', anal? bondage? oral? different positions? toys? something else?

Without knowing those answers I can only answer very generally. It is hard to 'get' someone to change. Really all you can do is give her the space to change.

On an aside, and specifically about talking dirty, I think of my self as sexual open and willing to try new things and I have a bit of a problem with talking dirty. I'm just not much of a talker during sex. It puts me off - it's not that I feel silly or naughty or 'unladylike' - it's just not a me kind of a thing. Maybe your wife is the same. Or are you talking about general sex talk, whether in the bedroom or not? I love talking about sex with Hick, telling him what I want him to do, telling him what I want to do - just not during sex.

I don't need to fight to prove I'm right.
I don't need to be forgiven.
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Old 11-12-2011   #5 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


you don't get her to.
you put the idea out there and let her decide for herself.

love is a lie
dolfette is offline  
Old 11-12-2011   #6 (permalink)
petite is offline


I am pretty darn pervy and sometimes I'm not into talking during sex either, other than things like, "faster" and "oh god" and "there" and "more" and "don't stop" and other one word commands/requests/directions/praises. Other times I talk a lot, but it's not a regular thing, only when I'm really inspired. It happens more often when I've had some wine.

dolfette is correct, you can try to persuade her, but you can't make her do anything. Now, how to persuade her depends on the questions ManlyBanisters asked. Here's a few more that can help us answer the question: How not naughty is she? Would she view a porno with you? Would she read an erotic story? Would she pen an erotic story featuring the two of you? How comfortable is she having sex in non-missionary positions? Are we talking about a woman who is too shy to give a blowjob and who blushes if you mention having sex with the lights on? Give us some indication of degree.

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Old 11-12-2011   #7 (permalink)
Unnamed is offline


do you want us to give you full blown stories to jack-off too mr. 8 poster?

Last edited by Unnamed; 11-12-2011 at 06:21 PM..
Unnamed is offline  
Old 11-12-2011   #8 (permalink)
Dicklicker1 is offline


You got a true lady and don't spoil her in making her talk nasty.
If you want a round the way girl, give her crack then your life will be fulfilled and turned upside down!
Otherwise enjoy the Gem you have and love her do death!

Sucking half mass is a tease, sucking full mass is pure pleasure!
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Old 11-12-2011   #9 (permalink)
ManlyBanisters is offline


^^ WTF is THAT?!?! ^^^


I don't need to fight to prove I'm right.
I don't need to be forgiven.
ManlyBanisters is offline  
Old 11-12-2011   #10 (permalink)
helgaleena is offline


You had better love her as she is. If her ladylike ways do not seem attractive to you, you married a preconceived idea of a woman and not the actual woman. Well, she is as she is. Your wife. As long as you both are obtaining pleasure from your relations, there does not have to be a problem. You make it a problem when you expect her to do something that is not her nature.

The thing to do is not to demand from her activities which do not come naturally, but to encourage her to express her love for you in spontaneous ways-- Perhaps she would like to tell you afterward what she enjoyed most about your love making.Perhaps she would write a poem or song for you. Perhaps she would like to plan what you do with you beforehand. Perhaps she'd like to give you a massage, or breakfast in bed, or a lovely bath. Perhaps she'd like you to dress her in a certain outfit and then have her remove it, or have you remove it. There are simply so many ways for you both to express yourselves, using explicit descriptive words need not be a part of it at all if that is what she has trouble with.

Addendum. If she is NOT enjoying your relations, only putting up with them, this needs to change, and for that she must discover what actually pleases her. Hopefully she is not so inhibited that she thinks sexual pleasure is a sin, or other such crazy making. Together or separately, that question needs straightforward solutions.


Last edited by helgaleena; 11-12-2011 at 09:20 PM..
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Old 11-13-2011   #11 (permalink)
marshall84 is offline


We have been together for 3 years. We are both in our mid twenties. She has had three other boyfriends before me. When I say talk dirty etc. I mean talking dirty in bed and out of bed. Also, teasing, foreplay, talking about sex, positions, things you like, body parts, and anything else related to sex. We are not interested in any hardcore stuff mentioned above (anal, bondage, etc.) I would just like if she was more open and comfortable with it all. We love each other a ton and love being with each other, this is just an area that my previous girlfriend's really shined in and I loved it. It is hard for me to get used to even though its been three years.
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Old 11-13-2011   #12 (permalink)
dolfette is offline


maybe this is her being loose.
some people just aren't that sexual.
you married her knowing she fucks this way.

my only advice is to never make her feel pressured.
her desire for exploration, if she has one, will wilt if you press.

love is a lie
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Old 11-13-2011   #13 (permalink)
dongalong is offline


Dolfette's advice works, give her total freedom, tell her you are willing to try anything she wants. Once she decides to test the waters, make sure that you show appreciation by giving her the most pleasure possible. If she feels in control, it will give her confidence to go further and wilder. I like to see women shock themselves by how naughty they have become.
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Old 11-17-2011   #14 (permalink)
ta4me is offline


Maybe she's a sub. Try holding her hands down while banging the crap out of her, calling her a slut, and smacking her butt.

Caution, if she's not a sub, you'll never get laid again.
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Old 11-17-2011   #15 (permalink)
D_Bob_Crotchitch is offline
Banned


A couple of double martinis might help. The only thing is that when she starts spewing, it might be things you don't want to hear.
You sorry son of a bitch. You couldn't turn a vibrator on. Your idea of intercourse is 3 minutes of jack rabbit banging, and it's over. I'm like damn! I should have stayed single!
D_Bob_Crotchitch is offline  

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