Physics Jokes!

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They're relatively funny.

'Hello, is that Schrodinger's Cattery?'
Yeh, how can we help?
'Just wondered if my cat is ok?'
Umm...well, yes and no.

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A Higgs boson particle goes into a church on Xmas Eve:

Vicar: Sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons into our service!
Higgs: But how else are you going to have mass?

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'A neutrino!'

'Knock, knock!'
'Who's there??'

This one reminds me of a favorite musician joke. I'm a keyboardist and singer so percussionists are a favorite target. :-)

A drummer lost his gig with a band after one too many arguments over his shaky beat. He was so distraught he went down to the railroad tracks and threw himself behind a train.

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Actually the answer should be "It might be yes or it might be no, we don't know"

Why are quantum physicists so bad in bed?

Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they find the momentum, they can't find the position.
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Entropy... it just isn't what it used to be.
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Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side.


...yeah, they're terrible!

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bobbyboyle's user name is a kind of a physics joke! :)

Click here.

"It's cunnilingus and psychiatry that's led to this" - Tony Soprano

is that Hadron Collider thing Physics related?
If it is it really fcks me off, cause i cant understand a thing what the hell theyre on about
Cant get me head around it, at all
so i geuss the jokes on me hah

enjoy sharing there excitement tho? ha

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)

"ave atque vale"
(hail&farewell)

A physicist working in California heard that an electron she had worked with was staying at a hotel in town and decided to pay a visit. On her way to the hotel she decided to phone ahead.

"Hey, it's me," she said. "I hear you're in town. You want to go for dinner?"
"Sorry," the electron replied. "I was in town until you phoned, but now I'm in Texas!"

Very observant of you!

Although repeated observations will be required to conclusively show if it is or not.

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Cheers for the responses guys.

I thought it was: 'it might be yes or it might be no, we don't know...therefore it's both'?
Schrodinger's pin-up. :)

I love them. :D Not sure what a mobius strip is, but it sounds funny. :P

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Protons have mass?

I didn't know they were Catholic!

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Bobby, a graduate physics student, is walking across campus when he encounters his old freshman English professor. The professor asks, "How are you doing, Bobby?" And Bobby replies, "I'm doing good, prof .... real good." The professor, of course, asks "Don't you mean you're doing very well?" And Bobby replies "Oh no, prof, I ain't doin' near that good!"

If God had intended us to run around without our clothes on we'd have been born naked.

Möbius strip - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Neutron walks into a bar, and asks the bartender how much for a drink?
For you, he says, no charge!