Doesn't like cock

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A few months ago, my wife told me she didn't like to touch my cock, the pleasure center of mankind. Her libido suffers from menopause, but the fact she isn't interested in touching me is difficult on the psyche. Before menopause she was much the same way. We have sex about once a week, but she's just not passionate any more. Feels a little like "mercy sex". Never any oral sex from her either though she enjoys it from me. I shower every day, keep trimmed/groomed, and am height/weight proportionate.

I know women aren't visual creatures on the whole, but would anyone else offer an opinion about how normal this is for a woman not to be interested in stimulating her man?

Does anyone know if most women get their libido back after menopause? It's been about four years so far.

Thanks

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Im thinking its time for you to find some elsewhere. Good luck.

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Yes, because cheating will certainly make her want him more!

Anyway...

Women are very emotionally-driven creatures. In my personal experience, when I didn't want to have sex with my boyfriend, it was usually because I was angry at him for something. Built-up resentment, general unhappiness in the relationship, distrust, etc. So that's my guess.

I feel your pain brother....
I too keep myself fit, active, clean, trimmed in the right places and available to any whim desire she may have. But like you, my wife could care less anymore. Every now and then I used to get a mercy handjob, but no more.
Sex is once every now and then...and she pretty much lays there.
I understand the whole menapause thing and can appreciate the fact that she no longer has a sex drive....so I struggle with wanting to be touched, caressed, hugged, and satisfied in more than a sexual way.
In a way, I feel it may be the one thing that my wife has full control over.
Good luck to you and us all...

First off you need to stop eating her out and tell her why. Try some arousal gel or cream from a sex shop. Also you could try annd get some other things ffrom a sex shop to help spice up your sex life. Try and sit her down and tell her how you are feeling and if all else fails, and you are unhappy, than you dont want to live the rest of your life like that.

I'm going through the same thing. A year ago she was insatiable: This year she announced "I just don't like sex anymore".

I hope that's the menopause talking.

I've always taken care that she enjoys the encounter. Her feelings come first, and I always make certain that she's either orgasmed, or has had enough, before I relax and enjoy the physical love we shared. To be told "I just don't like sex anymore" is a valid reason to marry a much younger woman......I just wish I could warn my past self.....(sorry, I was venting a little...)
:)

To be fair, lots of over the counter drugs, as well as menopause, can crash a normal libido. The frustrating thing is the attitude that zero sex is somehow a valid response on her part.

That set me off. I argued that she had no right to force me into celibacy, or deny me the physical intimacy of relationship. She needs to understand that being frigid is a problem, that needs to be addressed. (Maybe frigid is not the right term, she does orgasm when we have intercourse. but has zero desire to attempt it....it does not compute in my male brain...)

This is marriage councilor time, talk to a doctor time. Find out what other couples do to heal this rift, before it's too late. Amazon is full of books on this topic, from both the wife and husband perspective. Refusal to act is not an option. You must handle this with care, this is the woman you love.

(Cheating is not an option.)

At this point, we're working things out.

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I would have to wonder if she was attracted to men physically.

Avg I wish I could get a hand job. But, yes my wife has enter in the I don't care fori sex anymore. It is hard to deal with after 30 years of marriage. For me my wife just needs to take meds for it....she just will not take it. We are still working on it.

You want to see menopause talking?

Watch this:

All In The Family - Edith's Problem 1-3 - YouTube

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It sounds like the two of you could use professional help.

What Does a Sex Therapist Do? How to Find One

AASECT - Member Directory

Worthwhile:
The Capital-T Truth

Be a Romantic Fool:
How did you meet?
Adorable Proposal Video

Fun stuff:
Sucking cock used to mean something different
Irony Punctuation
I like big butts and I cannot lie but is there some evolutionary reason as to why?

Interesting stuff:
Video of a woman's brain during orgasm

awesome

If she does not want it anymore....Then what?

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I'm in my late forties and my first year of menopause. I also had to replace a few vibes last year! My libido has always been supercharged, so now even at a lower level it is still quite strong, but what I do notice lately is that lubrication is more difficult.

I really only have my own experience to go by, and that of my friends and what I've read. I do know that some women who have always had low libidos use menopause as an excuse to reduce their need to have sex even further. Other women like myself, notice some changes but still want to have strong sexual relationships. I have a couple of friends whose husbands are exhausted from being fucked senseless almost daily - my friends' describe feeling so free post-menopausal that they just can't leave their men alone!

I agree with those who recommend marriage counseling and seeing a doctor. Sometimes there's real drop in testosterone during menopause and a cream can change things. Therapy can help with the emotional issues. Some women really grieve the end of child bearing years, while others celebrate it.

All I know is that if I had a significant other right now, I'd be wearing that man down to a nub. As it is, I recommend buying stock in Duracell.

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Try reading the rest of my post?

Meg has a point. Women are emotionally driven, if there is conflict or resentment it can affect her sex drive. And yes,hormones can be a real problem too. If a mans testosterone took a dive, his sex drive would too.

But in marriage we can and often do face the "worse" we spoke of in our vows. Life is not fair. You have to decide how to work on this problem that affects both of you.
If she's of menopausal age ( or peri menopause ) which can begin even in the 30s, it would help you to learn as much as you can about menopause. For men to think " another woman would be better, or different" is not the clearest thinking. We don't know what the future holds. Suppose you suffered a severe case of ED? That's also a problem you both have to deal with as a couple. Not your fault....just as menopause is not her fault. Comparing your wife to other women isn't quite fair either, just as you would not want to be compared to other men.

It might be a good idea to suggest she see a GYN who is experienced with hormone replacement therapy. Some just don't want to bother with dose changes and women's emotions, so they may down play the symptoms. Some genuinely feel it's dangerous.
I don't feel it is, not under proper medical supervision, and assuming the woman has no health risks.

Let her know you understand and that your relationship is more important than sex. Love is more important than sex. I know you don't want to hear that. But you might have to dig deep and put some feelings aside to rebuild your sexual relationship. Women can become very resentful when they feel their partner is more interested in sex than them. Especially if their hormones are going nuts. A bit like a raw wound, then someone comes along with the salt.

Only you know your wife and what's going on in your relationship. What could you do to bring the 2 of you closer emotionally. To create a stronger foundation, a stringer bond between the 2 of you as a couple. She needs to "feel' loved. She needs to feel understood by you.
You may be thinking to yourself that this all seems like too much trouble. Maybe it is. It really depends on what it's all worth to you. I think when we give a little more in a relationship, we usually get more back.

Having sex right now might not be something she's interested in, but affection should be something else. See if you can interest her in simple affection. Watch a movie and snuggle. Rub her back. But if she does snuggle,don't use that situation to push for sex unless it's her idea. You can be physical without sex, and affectionate without sex, and that in itself can lead to sex. Think back to dating. It was probably like a dance. Sometimes getting back to that dance can be rewarding.

Finally, you have to talk to her. Let her know you are on her side and you will be by her side no matter what.

Peri-menopause has snuck into my life too. My sex drive has been all over the place. I experienced some vaginal irritation. But I am on HRT and that has helped a lot.
Through it all I have always wanted to be physically close to my husband. We do snuggle ...if you will,tho maybe it is me that snuggles and hubby is the snuggleee.
Well watch a movie and I put a pillow in his lap and he rubs my back, hair, etc.
Without that affection from him, sex would seem cold. I want to know I'm more to him than just an outlet. We are partners, we like each other. Add some affection to that and see where it leads.