Do you like being Married/want to get married?

I've been thinking a lot about marriage as of lately and I've come to the realization that I don't want to get married or have children. My mind might change once I'm older (I'm 24) and I fall in love with somebody, but at this very moment, I don't like the idea of married life and what it entails.

I don't like the idea of being tied down (not relationship wise) and somebody having an once of control over my life. As in what I do during the day, who I talk and hang out with, and where I go throughout the day. That may be because everything good that has happened in my life has been done because of me, and I haven't had a lot of supportive and helpful people in my life. An independence thing maybe? I'm used to it just being me.

My married buddy wanted to hang out with me the other day and he said, "Let me see if it's okay with the wife" and that's when I thought to myself, My God, I never want to get married. I understand talking about it with your spouse is a respect thing, but I don't like the idea of having to ask somebody if I can do something (unless it's hurtful of course). Is it silly of me to think I want a spouse where I can just say, "Hey baby, I'm going to hang out with so and so. I'll call you and be home later."

Although, I'm not saying I would be one of those guys who are never home and spend time with their wife and children if I were married. I just don't like the whole control thing. I don't know if that makes sense.

I don't know, maybe I'm selfish.

Did I like being married? NO!
Do I want to get married again? HELL TO THE NO!

Double Tap.

I think I'll get married again when pigs fly through a frozen Hell.

I think maybe I'll let Dragon speak for me. She says it so well.

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I very much want to get married. I realize that the lifestyle of a married (in my case gay) man is not for everyone. But the emotional, spiritual, sexual, and practical benefits appeal to me greatly. So the hunt for the hubby goes on...

I am not married but have a 24 year relationship with a wonderful lady.
We have a 21 year old daughter, who is wonderful.

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You should be honest in everything no matter what kind of relationship you have. How else is someone going to know who you are and how to deal with you?

If you feel you need more freedom...you probably aren't ready to marry that person.

I LOVE being married. I have met my soulmate who completes me.
I understand all of the feelings that you have described, but all marriages are not like that.

No, it is not silly to think you can find a relationship in which you can say "I'm going to hang out with the boys...be home later"... and again, she might say "I'm going out with the girls tonight, be home later.." and expect the same respect and support from you.

I think we look at other marriages and committed relationships in our lives to help us develop a sense of what marriage really means. If you are surrounded by arguing, mistrust, divorces, and dysfunctional relationships, this may guide your thinking that NO WAY do you want to get married.

Many people feel like marriage is a thing of the past, but as long as there is a desire to make your commitment public (whether you decide religion plays a part or not) there will be people who desire to get married. Truly, a piece of paper doesn't change the love or commitment two people make to each other... but it is the public acknowledgement in front of friends and family that you declare your devotion for one another.

I guess I am one of the rare people who have found love and made it work. Not always easy, but when I look back and think of the man that stole my heart.... he still takes my breath away. Even in the bad times... I never forgot that. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage last... but hell, it's worth every moment and effort, in my opinion.

But I'd never suggest that a person marry, just because everyone is doing it... oh dear, wrong answer. What is right for one is not always right for another.

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yes I think.


I have been married before and that was an epic failure but with the right person, I would love it.

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I've never wanted to be married and can't see myself changing my mind now. I have wanted to be with a particular someone on a long term basis, but other than that? No.

I've been engaged, but never married.

Would I like to get married in the future? Absolutely yes.

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If you are in a marriage where you feel tied down, then you're not in a good marriage. Period. Like FancyPants says, I found my soulmate, and we want to be with other all the time, however, that's neither reasonable or feasible. He has a life, and so do I, and we each have commitments with others that we honor. I would no more dream of impinging on his passions that he would mine. He calls me every night when he's away, and I go to bed knowing all is good.

I know marriage is not always like that. I've been there before where two people are bound by a legal document only, neither being able to tolerate the others presence in the vicinity. That was a marriage in name only, and it took a new legal document to dissolve the first.

I thought about not getting married to my husband, but I guess I'm old fashioned and also i had a child still living at home. There are deep-instilled values I still hold dear and wanted to pass along to her.

I don't think marriage is for everyone. My ex has been married and divorced four times already. But also societal mores are changing so it's not so taboo living together. But the same commitment must apply or you have nothing more than convenience.

Before we were married I asked Cap if he wanted me to sign a pre-nup because I overheard his agent say something along those lines. He looked at me as though I had insulted him greatly and said sharing a life means sharing everything. And I guess that's what it comes down to. While we each have our own life that's only half of it. The other half belongs to each other. Sometimes it's exactly half as in 50/50. Other times it's 100/0 or somewhere in between. It's up to both of you to figure out when the ratio changes and life is wonderful when you each come up with the same number.

I don't think you're selfish. If marriage isn't your thing then fine. However, being in a marriage doesn't necessarily mean you're tied down. There's a such thing as open marriages. Also you shouldn't have to consult your spouse just to hang out with someone. If you do decide to get married, you need to date around (and by dating around I mean seeing several people at once), so you can find someone as independent as yourself, and not someone who's clingy and controlling like the person your friend married, so that the both of you are on the same page. Marriage may not be for everybody, but it seems to me most people are doing it wrong since they're usually marrying the first person who comes along.

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Marriage isn't my kind of deal.

Comparison Shots

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."

No you are a fucking child who has no idea where you life will go. If you find the right girl, it is fantasic