60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It's more fun to

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Old 04-12-2012   #1 (permalink)
durbantom is offline

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahh, it's cute.

3. Who circumcised you?

4. Why don't we just cuddle?

5. You know they have surgery to fix that.

6. It's more fun to look at.

7. Make it dance.

8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?

10. It looks like a night crawler.

11. Wow, and your feet are so big.

12. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.

13. It's ok, we'll work around it.

14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.

16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

17. Oh no, a flash headache.

18. (giggle and point)

19. Can I be honest with you?

20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

21. Let me go get my tweezers.

22. How sweet, you brought incense.

23. This explains your car.

24. You must be a growing boy.

25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.

27. Are you one of those pygmies?

28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

29. Every heard of clearasil?

30. All right, a treasure hunt!

31. I didn't know they came that small.

32. Why is God punishing you?

33. At least this won't take long.

34. I never saw one like that before.

35. What do you call this?

36. But it still works, right?

37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.

38. It looks so unused.

39. Do you take steroids?

40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.

41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.

44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?

45. Aww, it's hiding.

46. Are you cold?

47. If you get me real drunk first.

48. Is that an optical illusion?

49. What is that?

50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.

51. Were you neutered?

52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

53. Does it come with an air pump?

54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

55. Where are the puppet strings?

56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.

57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.

58. Never mind, why bother.

59. Is that a second belly button?

60. Where's the rest of it?

"If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." John Cage

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. - Unknown

Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.
durbantom is offline  
Old 04-12-2012   #2 (permalink)
BUSTERHYMAN is offline

This undertaker get's home with a black eye.

"What happened to you?" asks his wife.

"I had a terrible day," replies the undertaker. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I find the room and sure enough, there's this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection, so I did what I always do; I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."

"I see," says his wife. "But how did you get the black eye?"

The undertaker replies, "Wrong room."
BUSTERHYMAN is offline  
Old 04-12-2012   #3 (permalink)

"Where's the beef?"
Old 04-12-2012   #4 (permalink)
crescendo69 is offline

Well, this shoudn't cost much.

Please do not check my profile.

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Old 04-12-2012   #5 (permalink)
Pecker is offline
Retired Moderator

"No, thanks, I don't smoke."
Pecker is offline  
Old 04-12-2012   #6 (permalink)
Hoss is offline

In your case clothing really is better......here, put on this blanket.


(click on Brass Bonanza for music)

Long Live The Whalers, Forever in Our Souls and Minds!!
Hoss is offline  

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