Ask A Woman Thread

[MickeyLee]

"be the change you want to see in this world"

Women's Issue has been used as a catch all for queries of a female nature. most are not Women's Issues, just happen to have women in the subject line. some of the ladies *self included* feel this is a violation of the spirit/intent of Women's Issue, a small area of LSPG set aside to be girl-ocentric.

Ask a Woman sub-forum has been suggested as happy compromise to tensions in the Women's Issues sub-forum. the new sub-forum would a place for folks *mostly dudes* to satisfy any/all curiosities about the mysterious others known as women.

until a future site update lands the Ask a Woman sub-forum into our hot grubby little hands...

The Ask a Woman Thread and this thread's sister Ask a Woman social group.

How To.
step 1. think of a question.
step 2. post your question.
step 3. check back for replies.

Rules.

1. be respectful.
2. be honest.
3. be open minded.

[achillesx]

So let me get this started.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

[MickeyLee]

hmmm factoring in atmospheric humidity?

*does math.. carries tongue size... divides by saliva averages... X = tongue strokes per minute*

the owl says three. is a girl owl. valid answer

[OlderGuy]

Great idea! The thread, I mean. Although licking a tootsie roll pop is, too.

[Gecko4lif]

Why do women in relationships like me significantly more than single ones do?

Seems to be quite contrary to what should be reasonably happening.

[redz_rule]

Originally Posted by Gecko4lif

Why do women in relationships like me significantly more than single ones do?

More details pls - like you in what way Gecko? Like to chat to you/generally spend time with? Or make a move on you? Or something else?

[LaFemme]

Who's Tootsie?

[Gecko4lif]

Originally Posted by redz_rule

More details pls - like you in what way Gecko? Like to chat to you/generally spend time with? Or make a move on you? Or something else?

Text, call, and generally just in contact with me more. I wouldnt say any have made a move on me outright but I've noticed markedly body language

Like for instance last night at buffalo wild wings I was talking to this chick kristie who was single and everything was pretty socially acceptable for the situation, we talked, laughs were had, cheering/booing at the tv. etc Pretty standard stuff

But then I was talking to my gym mate's girlfriend marisol a bit later on and it was different. Yeah same talk, laugh, cheer/boo as before but interlaced were things like shoulder grabs, longer eye contact (not substantially longer but somewhat longer than usual), perpendicular seating adjustment etc

She even grabbed my hand on occasion

Bare in mind I've never actually spoken to either before ever

And this isnt just a one time thing its pretty standard for me and I find it kinda of confusing

[redz_rule]

Originally Posted by Gecko4lif

Test, call, and generally just in contact with me more. I wouldnt say any have made a move on me outright but I've noticed markedly body language

Like for instance last night at buffalo wild wings I was talking to this chick kristie who was single and everything was pretty socially acceptable for the situation, we talked, laughs were had, cheering/booing at the tv. etc Pretty standard stuff

But then I was talking to my gym mate's girlfriend marisol a bit later on and it was different. Yeah same talk, laugh, cheer/boo as before but interlaced were things like shoulder grabs, longer eye contact (not substantially longer but somewhat longer than usual), perpendicular seating adjustment etc

She even grabbed my hand on occasion

Bare in mind I've never actually spoken to either before ever

And this isnt just a one time thing its pretty standard for me and I find it kinda of confusing

Disclaimer out of the way - this is JMO and putting myself in the place of the two girls.

The behaviour you described Marisol displaying was not necessarily more flirtatious, just less inhibited due to the fact you are friends with her bf. You are both aware that she is in a relationship, so you are 'safe' and she doesn't have to be guarded with you (unless she is propositioning you which is entirely different). She considers you unlikely to make a move on the gf of a friend.

If Kristie is single and aware you are also single, she is likely to be a little more guarded, so too much isn't read into her actions, since she could be seen as 'available'.

If the girls with bfs are actually coming onto you it could be a case of grass being greener, it could be you come across as someone good for a bit of fun on the side but not necessarily a relationship... or you could just be that hot ;p In all honesty though I had a very bad experience with the friend of a bf and consequently never do this, so it's just an educated guess on my part. The other ladies may have more insight.

[Gecko4lif]

Originally Posted by redz_rule

Disclaimer out of the way - this is JMO and putting myself in the place of the two girls.

The behaviour you described Marisol displaying was not necessarily more flirtatious, just less inhibited due to the fact you are friends with her bf. You are both aware that she is in a relationship, so you are 'safe' and she doesn't have to be guarded with you (unless she is propositioning you which is entirely different). She considers you unlikely to make a move on the gf of a friend.

If Kristie is single and aware you are also single, she is likely to be a little more guarded, so too much isn't read into her actions, since she could be seen as 'available'.

If the girls with bfs are actually coming onto you it could be a case of grass being greener, it could be you come across as someone good for a bit of fun on the side but not necessarily a relationship... or you could just be that hot ;p In all honesty though I had a very bad experience with the friend of a bf and consequently never do this, so it's just an educated guess on my part. The other ladies may have more insight.

Ah I see

Thanks red that is actually pretty enlightening

[redz_rule]

Originally Posted by Gecko4lif

Ah I see

Thanks red that is actually pretty enlightening

No probs hun, JMO and someone else could post a complete 180 ;)

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

I agree with red. I think with you knowing she's in a relationship, she's being herself a great deal more than she would if she were meeting you and you both were single. Girls can be friends, and with her bf and you in common she might open up more to you -- feel safe.

[MickeyLee]

+1 on what Ms. Redz had to say. i mean, dead on true for meself. is knowing i don't have to worry about my actions being taken as an invention/interest as something more.

also, i trust the boy's judgement of folks. his close friends are auto-vetted in my book.

eta: what Ms. Blonde said. +1

[LaFemme]

Count me in as someone else in agreement with Redz.

I'm also more open with guys in relationships - I consider them to be "safe". Which has backfired if their relationship ends, and they have misinterpreted my friendliness as actual interest (and I mean friendliness, not flirtation).

[petite]

Redz said exactly what I was going to say! Putting myself in her place, I am more guarded if I'm not sure whether the other person knows that I'm definitely not looking for a sexual relationship, so I act much more inhibited and careful about my body language and eye contact and the content of the conversation. It can be tiring to try to not give the wrong signals but still be warm and friendly, but not too friendly just in case it's interpreted as leading someone on that will cause some sort of embarrassment or an uncomfortable situation later on. Around people who are taken or if I think that the other person knows that I'm head over heels in love with TheBF, I relax a lot more. Since I'm not guarding myself, I make more eye contact and I don't try to intentionally reduce the number of positive signals I give to the other person because I believe that I don't have to and it would be interpreted as liking the other person as a friend, not an attempt to seduce. It feels good to relax and not be guarded. It's a lot easier to have fun if I can just let go and not have to worry about laughing too hard or being too nice.

On the other hand, I have known people who have never been single because they begin every new relationship before the old one ends, so obviously some people flirt with intention when they're taken. I don't know how a person would distinguish the difference, but I'd give the benefit of the doubt unless something overt happens.