The definition of slut

B_subgirrl · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by aninnymouse

I think that the consensus that we came to in the poll I started, and the ensuing thread, is that it's all in how it's used. If it's used pejoratively, it has pejorative meaning. If not, it's a mixed bag.

http://www.lpsg.org/284042-the-term-...erm+%22slut%22

I KNEW I remembered discussing this recently!

My definition of the word slut and my opinion on a person's number of partners are as I posted in the other thread:

Definition drawn from Wiki:

Quote:

Slut is used as a slang term in the BDSM, polyamorous, and gay and bisexual communities.[12] With BDSM, polyamorous, and non-monogamous people, in usage taken from the book The Ethical Slut, the term has been used as an expression of choice to openly have multiple partners, and revel in that choice: "a slut is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you."[13] A slut is a person who has taken control of their sexuality and has sex with whomever they choose, regardless of religious or social pressures or conventions to conform to a straight-laced monogamous lifestyle committed to one partner for life. The term has been "taken back" to express the rejection of the concept that government, society, or religion may judge or control one's personal liberties, and the right to control one's own sexuality.

My opinion on numbers:

Quote:

Originally Posted by subgirrl

Male or female, I couldn't give a fuck how many people someone has had sex with. I care about whether they were honest with their partners. I care about whether they were responsible regarding birth control and STDs. I care about whether their behaviours have created cognitive dissonance (coz I prefer people who feel okay with themselves).

A person's number says nothing about them, except that they've had sex with a lot of people. It doesn't imply anything else about them - not even that they like sex. I can't even begin to understand the posters who are arrogant enough to think they can know the whole of a person or predict that person's future behaviour based purely on a number.

sbat · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by OlderGuy

Wow. You were right. That is just wrong.

I don't live in that world. I prefer women who are mature, funny, witty, intelligent, flirty, and just a little bit slutty.

I don't know who those guys are on that other thread.

Are you familiar with the term "bro"? The kinds of guys frequently found in fraternities, gyms, reading mags like FHM, spouting off "man laws", wearing Axe cologne, pin up posters of hot female celebs/models, aspiring to be "alpha dogs." Middle to upper middle class upbringing. Very common here in the US among the 16-40 set. They do have considerable cultural influence.

Those guys.

Lee_M · 05-01-2012

Im all for women enjoying sex and going after it, but NOT when they are perusing a man or woman who is already in a relationship for the intention of flirting or sex.

A person who does that i would deem a slut

D_DanLather · 05-01-2012

Slut to me is a woman who has tried to set the record for the most continues fucks in a row, thats a slut....The rest of the women who are wanting sex and getting laid are studettes as far as I am concerned, no different than a man fucking several different women over a period of time....I always applaud those women who love sex and get to have the amount of sex that they require, just wish I was in there address book if you know what I mean, then maybe I could be called a stud (ha ha).

LGX · 05-01-2012

I'd say.....when one sleeps around constantly and will usually use their sex for gains like money, etc. Also, somone that doesn't have respect for themselves. They would have sex in a public bathroom if somone asked them. Gross.

sbat · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by LGX

I'd say.....when one sleeps around constantly and will usually use their sex for gains like money, etc. Also, somone that doesn't have respect for themselves. They would have sex in a public bathroom if somone asked them. Gross.

What if it was a really clean public bathroom? Like Wendy's or a bank?

petite · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by sbat

Are you familiar with the term "bro"? The kinds of guys frequently found in fraternities, gyms, reading mags like FHM, spouting off "man laws", wearing Axe cologne, pin up posters of hot female celebs/models, aspiring to be "alpha dogs." Middle to upper middle class upbringing. Very common here in the US among the 16-40 set. They do have considerable cultural influence.

Those guys.

Frat boys/Bros. Yeah, they're so lame. Ugh.

It's not the details that are the problem though, not things like cologne or magazines or going to the gym, though. All of that is fine, it's the bro personality.

lucidbass · 05-01-2012

Obviously, a slut is a girl I wanna have sex with, who doesn't wanna have sex with me but has sex with someone else.

sbat · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by petite

Frat boys/Bros. Yeah, they're so lame. Ugh.

It's not the details that are the problem though, not things like cologne or magazines or going to the gym, though. All of that is fine, it's the bro personality.

Not individually, I agree. But those activities together in a cluster very much describe the overall bro lifestyle, and in my experience you can expect a bro-ish mindset from a guy you can check off most of those activities for - particularly muscle and "alpha" obsession combined with overt displays of female objectification.

While I don't agree philosophically, that "bro" you were arguing with has a point in that his nouveau chauvinist mindset is quite widespread - even among guys that put up a feminist friendly or overall "good guy" facade in social settings.

NC_BBC · 05-01-2012

I avoid classifying people based on numbers. TIME waits for no man/woman. So as time passes your "numbers" are bound to grow. You shouldn't be labeled a slut just because you've lived a long and venturous life....Just MHO...

NC_BBC · 05-01-2012

But, to the OP, It's not the HOW MANY to me... It's HOW IT'S DONE. A slut to me (male or female) is someone who goes at "IT" with total disregard to the 5 W's (who, what, when, where, and why)

petite · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by sbat

Not individually, I agree. But those activities together in a cluster very much describe the overall bro lifestyle, and in my experience you can expect a bro-ish mindset from a guy you can check off most of those activities for - particularly muscle and "alpha" obsession combined with overt displays of female objectification.

While I don't agree philosophically, that "bro" you were arguing with has a point in that his nouveau chauvinist mindset is quite widespread - even among guys that put up a feminist friendly or overall "good guy" facade in social settings.

That's probably why my reality isn't his reality. I really dislike bros, so I don't spend any time around them. We're lucky to work in an industry that is almost totally absent of bros.

I like that phrase, "nouveau chauvinist mindset." I hate to see chauvinism making a come-back, but do you think that's the case with bros? Are they bringing chauvinism back?

I was actually surprised to see that you put the age of bros all the way up to 40, but I'm not an expert on them. They're for the most part invisible to me. If those guys are examples of bros, well, they're who I expected they are and I feel justified in having a low opinion of them.

Fade · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by _yayme

There's really no accurate definition of slut whore skank it's just a word that belittles women who have an active sex like
There will always be this double standard and sadly we can't change it

Uhm... myself and plenty of other people don't find the word slut belittling.

Also, ever heard of Slut Walks? Started because people were outraged at victim-blaming for individuals who had been raped. It branched out to include slut-shaming, for people who embrace their sexuality.

As the fantastic subgirrl pointed out, this thread has basically already been done rather recently. The quote from aninnymouse hit the nail on the head.

petite · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by sbat

While I don't agree philosophically, that "bro" you were arguing with has a point in that his nouveau chauvinist mindset is quite widespread - even among guys that put up a feminist friendly or overall "good guy" facade in social settings.

Okay, I'm revisiting this because I just remembered a conversation I had with TheBF a long time ago.

You claim that those guys pretend to be feminist in front of women but act like chauvinists in front of men. This is something I asked TheBF about.

I said something like this, "So supposedly guys aren't supposed to be serious about women that they have sex with too early, right? But look at the people we know. They clearly don't actually do that. Look at [here I gave a loooong list of examples of guys we know who got serious with women who broke the "rules"]. So, what's going on there?"

TheBF told me that it's because that's what men say to other men because they think that's what they're supposed to say. Even though they might not have the balls to admit it to each other, when it comes to girl that he falls for, it really won't matter.

"So, you're saying that there's a big disconnect between what guys say and what they'll do?"

"Pretty much."

So, according to him, at least some men are just pretending to be chauvinists in front of their male friends. Personally, I think you can judge what men really believe by looking at their actions, not whether they say what women want to hear in front of women or what men want to hear in front of men.

_yayme · 05-01-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fade

Uhm... myself and plenty of other people don't find the word slut belittling.

Also, ever heard of Slut Walks? Started because people were outraged at victim-blaming for individuals who had been raped. It branched out to include slut-shaming, for people who embrace their sexuality.

As the fantastic subgirrl pointed out, this thread has basically already been done rather recently. The quote from aninnymouse hit the nail on the head.

I was just saying from what I've seen a lot of women don't like being call a slut or whore ect cuz they find it offensive
Now when comes to the fucking some women don't mind that at all

But really a lot of the times slut is used to demean women just for having an open an active sex life
But it's ok for dudes to sleep around and they are called pimps and players

The definition of slut

Originally Posted by aninnymouse I think that the consensus that we came to in the poll I started, and the ensuing thread, is that it's all in how it's used. If it's used pejoratively, it