An issue that I'm having an issue with (men's input welcome)

Its been a long time since I signed in here.

I am in a relationship with a great guy, with a big beautiful dick.

Problem is, he never wants to use it.

We started dating in January 2010, and had sex like animals until September 2010. I confronted him in December 2010 and decided to be patient, he was under some stress at work and had some health issues (high blood pressure, now under control with sleep apnea treatment).

We had sex pretty regularly until February 2011. Then NOTHING. He is my absolute best friend, and I love him so much, but he'd just rather not talk about it, or says 'we're never alone' (which is a lie!) or 'I'm just tired'.

Women can't get away with this crap. I'm coming out of my skin. I gained 10lbs (I'm still not fat and ugly though, still quite fit and trim). I feel like shit. But I still love the asshole. He's a great guy but its just not working for me at this point.

This weekend we're going camping. I somehow need to muster the courage to tell him I am terribly unhappy with the lack of sex.

Any suggestions as to go about this without hurting his feelings? Mine are hurt, but I'm not a bitch. I know for a fact he's not cheating on me, we're together all the time. ALL THE TIME. But no sex.

Any helpful insights or otherwise? I'm 31 and he's 35.

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maybe he has too much stress in his life and it is affecting his performance. Maybe try something new to get his confidence up

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In the end you definitely need a heart to heart where you tell him how you are feeling and how important it is to you to have sex regularly.. and you also need to be prepared in the end , if things do not work, to be ok leaving the relationship without feeling shitty about it. Sex is a huge part of a relationship, it's a basic need.

So by all means get to the bottom of it and try to help, but if it becomes clear that things are not going to improve and regular sex is not something you are willing to give up, then think about moving on.

"Those who rail against profits and "greed" seldom stop to think through what they are saying, much less go check the facts. Most of the great American fortunes-- Rockefeller, Ford, Carnegie, etc. -- came from finding more efficient ways to produce a product or service at a lower cost, so that it could be sold at a lower price and attract more customers. If making a fortune represents greed, then greed is what drives prices down." – Thomas Sowell

blood pressure issue? if he's taking medication for BP he might be having some ED issues. *pets the dude* combine with stress... from work and from feeling like he's not covering all his bases.... can throw a dude into depression... depression is a libido killer.

when sex fizzle, someone is usually happy.. not with the relationship... general unhappy.

are you waiting for him to initiate sex? maybe taking the role as the more assertive partner. make the experience about him, take some of the pressure off.

as for ya timing.. for true.... if you know it's an issue.. the weekend away it NOT the time to bring it up. is just gonna ruin the outing. maybe some time away from everything will be good for him.

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I have to agree. Pressuring him to perform on a vacation isn't going to help. To me it sounds like he might be having some erectile dysfunction and he's embarrassed, which is why he doesn't want to talk about it.

You may want to consider having this thread moved to Sex with a Large Penis or Relationship Issues forum because you could get more insight into why he's behaving like this and how men would want a woman to approach them from some of the men here. It might not get noticed as much in the Women's Issue forum.

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You still love the asshole? Why would you call someone you love an asshole? Is he pushing you away when you ask for it? Are there problems in your relationship?

Anyway, moving beyond that, did he have dysfunction issues at any point? If so, maybe what the ladies are saying above is happening. Pressure probably makes it worse if he's having some type of issue.

On the other hand, I hate to say it, but maybe he just doesn't want to have sex. Maybe he's going through a faze and sex isn't really on his mind a lot, maybe he's worried about other things, maybe he's being completely honest with you and he really is tired.

So the question is, does he have some type of physicial issue or is he not into it for some other reason? November seems like a long time for a couple that love each other and are both happy.

Wish I knew the answer, I'm going thru the same think as you with my girlfriend, has me feeling sooooo insecure, I feel your pain

Maybe he just doesn't want to have sex. It DOES happen.
But, it could be emotional.
I would be less concerned with the lack of sex and more concerned with the fact that you guys have failed to have a successful conversation as to WHY there hasn't been sex for over a year; if you're going camping, try to get answers, not dick...but that's just my opinion

Hotchik - is he depressed?

If he doesn't want to talk about it, whatever it is is clearly bothering him...

.

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Does he still seem virile and interested in women generally, but just not necessarily interested in you, or is his whole demeanor now apathetic and asexual? That would indicate a physical and emotional life cause, as opposed to a problem in your specific relationship itself.

Not wanting to talk might mean he's afraid to tell you the truth.

Sex is sexy without the why.

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Lol what

Depression? Anxiety? Things to consider, especially if he's feeling pressured to perform, even if you're not pressuring him. Perception is reality.

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Must be drugs

You can't pressure him, but you can bring it up again why. And don't take the pat answer. Make him really open up. As has been said, certain BP drugs can hurt his ability to perform, but there are others which don't affect erections. if that is the issue, ask him to talk to his doctor and maybe change the meds he is on.

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I think "I'm just tired" is very plausible.

As a guy who's doing work most of the time, I know it's not very easy to just say "Hey, I want to pop a rock hard erection and go to town."

It's actually much easier when you are rested.

==

That being said, I'd still be having sex at least a few times a week.

How long has it been since you guys even had sex?

PSA: Extremely very few guys in the world are actually 9 inches long or longer. Therefore, if you claim that you or someone you know is that long or longer with no proof, it makes you look stupid.

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