Middle Age Crazy

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Or this isn't where I thought I'd be at this point in my life....

Now that I'm in my late forties, I find that I'm not where I thought I'd be. Not physically, financially or romantically. I thought for sure I'd be a married lady and thinking about retiring early with a good man. Well, I'm single and after a messy relationship lost my house which left me with a financial mess that means working far longer than I thought I would have to. Physically, well I had a health crisis. I'm ok now, but it will always be with me now. And let's face it - aging sucks. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize the face looking back at me.

On the positive side, I have a job I love and some good friends and family. I still take joy out of the small things in life. I just think I'm grieving my youth. I know you're only as old as you feel, but let's face it - the door closes on some options as you get older.

So how have you dealt with the transition to the next phase of life? Or how are you handling it?

First of all let me say that as long as you have your health and true friends I feel like you have won the lottery. I know so many people and all they have is money (no real happiness or real relationships) and when their health goes then it's a rather sad thing to witness.

I think time and our experiences determine how we all deal with all of this... I myself was working as a prosecuting attorney and making a boat load of money and working insane hours (but I just was not feeling life) and I got fed up with it and moved to the Caribbean for a few years and taught scuba-diving and worked as a bartender at one of the marina bars... I got my head screwed back on straight and came back to the mainland and made a new life for myself that I love (that oddly includes a red convertible).

I'm happy who I am and am proud of the fact that I can look in the mirror and have few regrets. I even like how I look now. If you really want an ego boost go to a high school reunion. I was reluctant to go but seeing that the hands of time were not cruel at all to me compared to my former classmates cheers me up on some mornings in the cold gray light of dawn when I am second guessing some decisions.

If you want to catch the wave that is going to change your life you have to swim outside of your comfort zone.

Please Read The Rules!

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I completely understand the money part. I used to have a high profile job where I made so much money, I didn't know what to do with it all. But I hated it. Toxic people and a toxic life. I have a job now that doesn't pay nearly as much but it's full of wonderful people and I do something I'm passionate about.

Now that you mention the high school reunion thing....I think I'm going to print out the class pic from the last one. Sure, a couple have aged better than I - but for the most part? Damn, I look look fine!

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I am no where near where I thought I would be. I just try and handle it day by day.

I feel bad for AM sometimes, he has to go through experiences that a person of his age never should have to. But, he is the one bright spot in my life, and without past experiences, good and bad, he wouldn't be here with me.

So, I may not be where I thought I would be, but I know that I'm headed to where I want to be

Freud - to constrain sexual drives to socially accepted "norms" is something that we "learn."
Why is it so important to you whether someone calls themselves straight or not (unless they choose to berate gays)
I Love him 100%, and his 50% belongs to me
It takes more love to share my saddle than it does to share my bed

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PSA: Extremely very few guys in the world are actually 9 inches long or longer. Therefore, if you claim that you or someone you know is that long or longer with no proof, it makes you look stupid.

Countryguy63 is my 50%, but I love him with 100% of my heart!

We are not born straight or gay. We are born bisexual. We just embrace either one side or both sides of our sexuality.

My Gallery & Album Updates Thread

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So...I am not the only crazy one here. THANK GOD!!!

I think, Lafemme, you will find that you have plenty of company.

I don't know if any of use really have the dream life we wouldve wanted. I know that there are a LOT of things that could be better in my life but for the most part I feel incredibly lucky. Like CG my boyfriend is the absolute best thing that ever happened to me (next to my children obviously) It's all about the people in your life above all. It sucks to get older and see that gravity isn't always kind, but wrinkles arent fatal. I think the worst part about reflecting on your life is viewing your life in comparison to what you think other people have, or what you should have. I think there are so many issues people deal with that they dont' show. We can look at someone and think they have it all, but we don't really know what they go through behind closed doors.
I always think about the old saying "take your problems, put them in a basket and see if you'd like to trade them with someone's else's problems". I think the majority of people you know have equal or worse problems even if they seem happy.
Life is hard, it just is. I guess the challenge is to continue to learn and grow and find joy in the little things.

- aging sucks. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize the face looking back at me.

Sad to read, especially as i have always assumed Women perhaps are more affected by aging, than us males
only my assumption ..


So how have you dealt with the transition to the next phase of life? Or how are you handling it?

Thanks for the opportunity
Over middle age now, but that part of life incidentally was being in the absolute prime of work & earnings, had resigned that a relationship was not on the rest of my life's agenda by then.
As for what they call the twilight years, more than content with minimal or subsistence level living, have no desire for xtra comforts or an over abundance of anything.
So in that sense, i am pleased i did not go overboard with any possible stress or worry re 'setting myself up' for the years beyond mid-life ..

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)

"ave atque vale"
(hail&farewell)

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I think I understand what you're feeling. TheBF and I were just discussing this the other day. I have regrets and I understand the feeling of running out of time. We were talking about what things we can still do and how we can accomplish them. I had high hopes for my life and I want to see what I can do to feel like I've rid myself of all my regrets. I'm not done yet.

I think Nudeyorker is right about money. Maslow's theory of the 'hierarchy of needs' bears out. Research has confirmed that increasing wealth only makes people happier up to ~$75k and that people who earn less feel greater stress due to monetary concerns. Greater than that annual income, money doesn't increase day-to-day happiness. Money only solves the problems of shelter and survival, it doesn't bring self-actualization.

Worthwhile:
The Capital-T Truth

Be a Romantic Fool:
How did you meet?
Adorable Proposal Video

Fun stuff:
Sucking cock used to mean something different
Irony Punctuation
I like big butts and I cannot lie but is there some evolutionary reason as to why?

Interesting stuff:
Video of a woman's brain during orgasm

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Reading these posts makes me feel quite a bit better. Most of my friends, and even men that I've dated are at least a decade younger than I. Many are just starting their families, purchasing homes and the future is still full of possiblities. Grown children, failed marriages/relationships, death of parents and friends are still in the future for the most part. I didn't realize until very recently, that what I was feeling was normal.

So please keep sharing. It does help to hear what you've done and how you've coped. And it's nice to know that I'm not alone!

PS. I'm not miserable. I'm just re-evaluating where I want to go and what I want to be. Am I ok with being alone the rest of my life? Should I join the red hat ladies? Should I get a cabin in the mountains, quit shaving and live off the land? Should I adopt a Haitian baby? Should I put on too much lipstick and start pinching the asses of cute waiters at Denny's when I eat my dinner at 4? Should I ask Nudie to get me into voice over work? Should I become a cat lady? Should I become a cat burglar?

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There are a lot of people going through what you are going through. Everyone at a certain age does that sort of introspection and finding out what the next step after one life pinnacle gets jacked up.


I will say that the best thing to do is to live and love consciously with sincerity. Try to be yourself. Try to do different things on your own for a while. Try a bunch of hobbies. Read some books. Take some really interesting classes. Surround yourself with a bunch of kindred spirits that make you happy. And while you are on that journey. Helping others is a great way to getting perspective on things.

I don't know anything on how to help people break into the voice over industry... because that would increase the already high competition.But if you do decide to go for it... it's a great way to make a living and most of the time you can show up for work in sweats and tennis shoes and a baseball cap)... but when you are starting out you go on about 100 auditions for each job you get.
I think reaching the middle an internal alarm goes off that gives us a chance to review and look at our inner compass and make any necessary changes because if we don't listen or wait too long it's too late. So do all the things that make you happy and you will find your way... If however you decide to become a cat burglar in some glamourous exotic locale I may join you!

If you want to catch the wave that is going to change your life you have to swim outside of your comfort zone.

Please Read The Rules!

I didn't wait until middle age to go crazy.

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Hmmm.....well, I'm in Canada PLUS I'm a lady, so I wouldn't be competing with you directly!

As to being a cat burglar....I'm veeerry stealthy. I'll call you for the gig in Monaco. *shhhhh*

No, sweetie - you were born that way!