Originally Posted by six_around
Anybody use any dating websites? I've signed up for a few with little luck. all these girls say what they want and when you think you might kinda be what they are looking for they just never answer you back. I wont be that guy who messages them a million times either because its not worth my time. I guess I am just ranting because I am having little success. I have a buddy who is on the same ones as me and apparently he is doing quite well. I'm not necessarily looking for some random hookup either. I just wouldn't mind a normal conversation with a girl that isn't in a bar. Anyways that's the end of my rant.
side note: I was using a pay one, now I just use the free ones because its not worth my money.
I met my Sir on a dating site. My advice to you is similar to VT's advice.
There are heaps more men than women on dating sites and women get waaaaaay more messages and other first contacts. As VT said, women get at least 10 new contacts a day. Some women, on some sites, get hundreds. Trying to answer that many messages is next to impossible. When I was doing it, it felt like I'd just taken on a full time job.
So your task is to make yourself stand out from the crowd and make YOUR message one of those she responds to. The best ways to do this:
- Have a good profile. Use lots of words. Describe YOU and the kind of person or relationship you're looking for, rather than the kind of sex you want.
- DON'T include cock pics on your profile. If you really can't resist, one is more than enough, and make sure your main pic is not a cock pic (on those sites where you can put up more than 1 pic).
- READ the profile of women you are contacting. DON'T message women if you don't fit their criteria (eg. if they are looking for people over 40 and in their local area, don't message them if you are only 25 and on the other side of the country).
- Make sure your first message will stand out from the crowd. Create conversation (ie. DON'T just say 'Hi' - you need to say something she can respond to). Read her profile and say something that relates to that profile. For instance, if she says she loves skiing, say 'Skiing has always sounded like fun! I've never tried it though. What do you enjoy about it?' This means that a) you're showing that you are interested in her as a person, rather than as Contacted Female #381 and b) you're discussing something she is obviously interested in!
- Don't use internet or txt speak, and double check your spelling and grammar.
- Don't push her to go offsite, chat, meet up, or anything else. It makes many women feel threatened. Let her set the pace.
- Treat her with respect, even if you're on a hookup site. Don't talk about sex straight away. Again, let her set the pace.
- Understand that women DO get a zillion messages from a zillion different guys. Don't keep messaging her and nagging her. Understand that she may be busy and it may take her time to respond.
- Don't bitch about how crap the site is, how no one ever messages back, how the site is full of fakes, or how all the other guys on there are losers. It looks bad. Instant turn off.