Is two guys holding hands in public more taboo than a man dressed in drag ?

Yeah it is totally context dependent, I mean if I were to hold a guys hand in public back in my home town I would get a myriad of strange looks, let alone kiss a guy in public.

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My partner and I have held hands in places where we knew it wouldn't raise an eyebrow. Key West would be a good example. Provincetown would be another. When we are able to do that, it makes me feel more like my straight counterparts who can do that anywhere. It is sad to me that my partner and I cannot do it anywhere. I don't need eyes in the back of my head when walking around in case someone with bigotry and hatred for such a thing comes from behind me. It sucks, but that fear is always there.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Give it time. People will sooner or later be able to wrap their minds around the thought of two people just loving each other. Or at least the majority of people. Or at least i hope.

One possibility is that your friend may be resentful of two men feeling free enough to hold hands in public. It is a form of internalized homophobia. Frankly, I thought that was dying out in the gay community faster than it might be. It's the equivalent of gay men who feel that there was no need to "flaunt" one's sexuality. Or that drag queens give us all a bad name. I have always viewed the gay rights movement as allowing people to be themselves without having to hide or apologize. Unfortunately, certain symbols (men holding hands, drag queens) raise the anxiety that some feel about their own sexuality.

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I see more of that in SF and West Hollywood than I do straight couples holding hands.

I don't think that means what you think it means.