How much power do you give others over your emotional state?

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As the title suggests, how much power do others have over your emotional state, and other parts of you such as your self-esteem, self-worth, etc?

Many people have the notion that you control your emotions, and happiness is a decision etc... but I rarely see this happening.

Do throw your coin in the bucket

EDIT: Conversely, do you find that you feel better about yourself (appearance, emotionally etc) when you receive attention from others and feel "wanted"...

I am the gatekeeper to my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun.

The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less.

Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.

0% buddy...

i learned from anton lavey that some people are "psychic vampires" that try to rob you of happiness and pleasure... while that is some sort of gibberish to me, it is kind of true... if you know people that drag you down or are just a negative influence drop them... anyone can do it... but do it for yourself...

give yourself respect and praise... it's not that some people are just naturally emotionally weak... that's BS... anyone can learn to be a strong balanced individual... always think positive, give yourself some "you" time, and don't stress over others... especially if they aren't great friends or family...

another thing i tell all of my friends that is that we shouldn't be too nice... i'm a nice guy... but if someone asks for a favor no matter how small, i always try to figure out their true motives... they might be taking advantage of you... every one that is a super nice person always gets taken advantage of... that's not cool... then they feel bad... man... being known as a jerk or like me an asshole is sometimes a good thing... rather have people calling me an asshole than a patsy...


don't let others control you... i used to do that... it was part of my god complex... but i'm trying to achieve a healthier way of living every day... it's hard to break some habits, and it might be an everyday battle, but it's worth it...

good luck...

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I think that with non-family, I give very little or no control. But with family it's a little harder. Particularly with my sibling. I'm sometimes crap at owning my own power in dealings with my sister, but I am doing my best to work on the failings.

I actually am physically uncomfortable with attention from others in a lot of cases, so I don't feel better when wanted or whatever. Mostly I like being left alone.

being deeply loved by someone gives you strength
loving someone deeply gives you courage

Why am I seeing your message in Century Gothic? Just wondering?

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Depends on the person.

For the general population, the only way they can get any sort of emotional response from me is if they're attacking me physically, damaging my property, or doing any other destructive actions towards me.

Besides what I just listed, people have very little, to no effect on my emotional well-being. I simply can't give enough of a fuck to allow someone to effect my mental state. Especially in a negative way.

Family, friends and the like have some effect on me. Typically a positive one.

Comparison Shots

"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."

Bingo.

Random people on the street? I couldn't care less.

Close friends and family? I can't help but let them affect me. That's the thing about trusting someone, about opening up to them about your insecurities and vulnerabilities, and having them do so in return. Most of the time it's magical. Sometimes it really hurts. But you've got to let some people in.

No one can control my emotions; I can't even control them. My emotions are raw and like a bull that would go any direction when he gets mad and angry.

agree...

my husband and daughter really have the most control over my emotions. I have a strong desire and need to have their acceptance.

People from LPSG? nah... I've met some nice folks here and made some good friends, but as far and giving them emotional investment? I can't afford to.
But, you really cannot love without hurting. But I'd rather hurt than never love at all... Love when it is all good... is the most amazing feeling ever. What you hope for is more of the good stuff.. and less hurt.

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I am pretty good at not letting others affect my emotions in day to day life. But when I meet someone that I feel an emotional spark with my emotions become an almost overwhelming torrent inside of me, fueled by the simplest things.

dolfette is my huckleberry.

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unfortunately basically all of it : o (

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I hurt everyday, but not because of what others do to me but what I'd like them to be like.
So it's my expectations that hurt me. In my line of work I have to let people sign contracts and all they need to do is read what it says in the contract but 8 out of 10 people fail to understand where to put their signature even when the words "signature here ....." is clearly visible.

Yesterday a friend of mine expressed that understanding the difference between qualitative and quantitative was too complicated for her to understand even after giving a simple explanation.

You can threaten me, call me names, ridicule me and it wouldn't phase me one bit but seeing this happen to people hurts and sometimes annoys the hell out of me depending on the origin of their inability to understand because I know they can do better.

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I wish I didn't love anyone

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I know what you mean actually

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to answer the thread title: No more than is normal.

If I was a person who was totally unaffected by others, that would make me a psychopath.

Anger at me from people I care about hurts. I am hurt by betrayals of trust from people I care about. Those things are universal for normal healthy people. I don't believe that a person can be capable of having real relationships if they don't "give" that kind of power to other people. Psychopaths aren't hurt by anyone because they are not capable of sharing the feelings of others, and as a result they use and manipulate everyone around them for their own benefit and personal amusement. I don't want to be that kind of person. Those people are dangerous to society, criminals.

Criticisms only really hurt if it's something I suspect is true.

Praise truly touches me if it's something I believe is true, or if the person praising me makes me believe that it's true. It's wonderful when someone can do that, but it's a rare skill. It's interesting that I can be talked into believing a compliment, but if I didn't already believe a criticism even a little bit, I cannot be talked into feeling bad about it. I think that is because a part of me believes that I am too hard on myself.

Like everyone, I have emotions triggers associated with negative past events. For example, a person can remind me of someone else who had wronged me and leave me feeling grumpy and thinking of painful things I would rather not remember. That can feel out of control. The only solution is to try to separate the memory from the trigger.

When it comes to having control over one's emotions and reactions, I try. Sometimes I succeed. I try to remember things like the pleasure-pain principle, the reward circuit, being present, and compassion for others, which can all help pull me out of reacting negatively. I try to self-manipulate myself into a new state of mind and reprogram myself to react better in the future. Sometimes it works very well, sometimes I fail to be conscientious. Sometimes I'm succumb to the weakness of immediate emotional rewards that are the emotional equivalent of eating chocolate cake; it feels good while I'm eating it but it damages my health. Sometimes the cake is so damn delicious when I'm eating it.

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