I don't know if you're doing it already, but I think you should just tell the next person this:
Originally Posted by Bashful
I don't do hook ups!
in exactly those words. Coz if you told me this:
a relationship should be more than just sex,
I would agree with you. Even my FBs are more than just sex to me. But to me, it doesn't mean you don't wanna have sex tonight. It just means you want the person to see you as a human being, with thoughts, feelings, etc and that you will give them the same in return. It will mean something different to everyone. I think you need to be clear if you wanna find a guy that will be right for you.
Excuse me for attempting to have a relationship with you when we had a clear conversation about wanting to find someone to have a long-term monogamous relationship. I suppose the error in my thinking was that you wanted to try to have that relationship with me. *slaps forehead* silly me.
Again, to me the two aren't exclusive. Sir and I had sex the first night we met, and I had pretty much promised him that even BEFORE we met. We've now been together for over 6 months and counting. My other relationships have been similar. For me, there's no reason you CAN'T have sex on the first date, then go on to have a successful relationship, monogamous or otherwise (not that I'm making any kind of judgement on YOUR choice!).
And if you'd said all of the above to me . . . I wouldn't think that you need to wait and be sure before you have sex. I'd think you wanted to have sex tonight and that you were telling me the other stuff to make me feel warm and fuzzy.
So for people like me, you need to make it clear to the person in unambiguous ways, and preferably before you meet. Tell them 'I don't have sex until I am in a comfortable and well established monogamous relationship' or something similar. Then they are free to make their own choice based on that.
I have no doubt you'll find someone who's perfect for you eventually