Sexy shut down

Does it make me very shallow if I'm hoping this was directed at me?

That's rough Bashful, and I'll echo what's already been said, kudos to you for not lowering your own personal standards.

Getting to know new people with the view of something more is fraught with these sorts of disappointments.
From experience some people are rather good at hiding the ugly part of themselves until something triggers it and then all hell breaks loose.

I think it's best to be 100% upfront with what you want and what your expectations are and be prepared to walk away (as you obviously have the capacity to do) when they don't live up to those stated expectations.

Good luck, sweetheart and remember it's much better to be alone than it is to be with the wrong person.

Double Tap.

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Good for you. I don't have much faith in other gay guys, either, although for different reasons... But still.

You'll come across a wide variety of guys and yes, many of them are fueled by testosterone and may want sex after a date. But they should really respect the other person's boundaries and morals, so I think it was inappropriate of the other guy, not for what he wanted, but for how he reacted when he found out you wanted otherwise.

Keep it up and continue exploring guys. I'm sure you'll find a good match, eventually. I know for a fact that there are others looking for the same thing.

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Aww, there's loads of French ppl round your way?

(kiddin btw).

Well, this isn't my first rodeo with other guys doing stupid crap. Out of the three serious relationships I've hard: 1 ended in me landing in the hospital with a broken nose, several lengthy cuts, and bruises; 1 ended cause I found out he'd been sleeping with someone else (which I don't necessarily mind, but I like monogamous relationships and that's what we agreed on) who come to find out is now HIV+; and the last guy I dated just left me for someone else, but at least he had the balls to have a conversation with me and admit it rather than trying to drag me on.

Soooooo, yeah I totally understand that there are some real pieces of work out there. Seems like I get closer and closer to a gentleman each time I get serious with someone. So if my math is right by the time I hit 40 I should have prince charming XD

Side-note: I got tested as soon as I found out about Marcus' buddy being HIV+, and I'm negative still. Since then I get tested quarterly. (Though I've not had sex in a few months, so this quarter almost seems pointless lol)

I don't know if you're doing it already, but I think you should just tell the next person this:

in exactly those words. Coz if you told me this:

I would agree with you. Even my FBs are more than just sex to me. But to me, it doesn't mean you don't wanna have sex tonight. It just means you want the person to see you as a human being, with thoughts, feelings, etc and that you will give them the same in return. It will mean something different to everyone. I think you need to be clear if you wanna find a guy that will be right for you.


Again, to me the two aren't exclusive. Sir and I had sex the first night we met, and I had pretty much promised him that even BEFORE we met. We've now been together for over 6 months and counting. My other relationships have been similar. For me, there's no reason you CAN'T have sex on the first date, then go on to have a successful relationship, monogamous or otherwise (not that I'm making any kind of judgement on YOUR choice!).

And if you'd said all of the above to me . . . I wouldn't think that you need to wait and be sure before you have sex. I'd think you wanted to have sex tonight and that you were telling me the other stuff to make me feel warm and fuzzy.

So for people like me, you need to make it clear to the person in unambiguous ways, and preferably before you meet. Tell them 'I don't have sex until I am in a comfortable and well established monogamous relationship' or something similar. Then they are free to make their own choice based on that.

I have no doubt you'll find someone who's perfect for you eventually .

Thanks for the advise! I guess I just don't want to come off sounding rude about it, but so far trying to be tactful has gotten me burnt lol

I read your post and even though I'm a total top I can relate. Sometime you meet some bottoms who play nice and talk about how they are serious and looks for a long term thingy only to find out that they are full of **** . but you got to go easy on the guy. You are dead ass sexy and really cute, it would take a real man a lot of effort to stay calm around you. But a real man would have seen that there are more then a a good ass and cute boy in you, a real man would have wait to take your body AND mind. Anyway, let the douchebag go and found yourself a real man =)

Hard... Always hard

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Personally, I have given up on all relationships. I'm done kissing frogs. I'm done with sex. It's just not worth it anymore. You know how they say there's someone for everyone? It's not true. And for those of us for whom there is no one, it's better if we just accept it and just move on.

And that's the end of my rant.

It's come to this: If you're honest and don't play games, and say as much, people will assume you're just playing games on a different level.

You're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek