Fag Hags and Gay Romance

it's just a warning.... i'm not an admin here and take no offense to the word personally if used in context.... but the admins seem to have a different view on the matter.....

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I was just upset by this when it was presented to me as a "common thing" As if I should have known this all along.... this is why I felt ok in sharing it.

If I die tomorrow, I invite the world to attend my funeral. But God help the souls who wear black to my funeral! I am not black on black on black. I am violet on crimson on lime. With that said, I am not cotton on jersey on denim. I am fur on silk on leather! My funeral shall be bright, my funeral shall be colourful. Wear what you must, but do not wear black. Let my example be your new tradition.


I'm too pretty to be narcissistic.


(If you look at my profile, you MUST leave a comment)

Ya know guys...I am not going to say that the term "hag" is offensive and my feelings are crushed but honestly it is an ugly word and I'm not sure why women who have a gay best friend are referred to as such. Why does that term make it seem as if the gay guy is this amazing prince and the girl best friend is some hag (in the movies she's always fat and/ or a total loser) who is clinging desperately to the guy in hopes that he'll notice her?

I had a gay best friend for years till he moved to another city. I had NO sexual or romantic feelings for him. I wasnt the least bit jealous when he dated. I dont understand why the female friends of gay guys get painted as such losers. It's insulting to the man really..as if to say the only women who'd be friends with a gay man are a bunch of whiney, desperate hags.

@seaside: sorry if either term offends you.... it's a term of phrase that's existed long before i was out of the closet, but i don't view it as a term for ugly women as much as i think of it as one that describes women of all types who spend more time in the company of gay men than anyone else.... in terms of the 'F'-word: i once used the term in a non-derogatory way on a thread and got a warning e-mailed to me that if i was found using the term again (in any context) that i would be banned from the site.... kind of odd, but rules are rules i guess.... every site which contains user-generated content has their own way of doing things....

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It's part of the history.... there's also fruitfly or flame dame, if you'd rather. The identity is the same, but the word is changed. We love girls who love us, the attention/support is always welcomed. Often, if not always the social function of the relationship is mutual, not necessarily for the benefit of him.

When I heard one friend 'accuse' 2 other friends, one of whom being female, for thwarting each other from successful relationships, I definitely got a bit upset. I think the concept is over the fact that the friendship is so strong that its unbreakable. But why is it that all the BS has to come from within the community?

If I die tomorrow, I invite the world to attend my funeral. But God help the souls who wear black to my funeral! I am not black on black on black. I am violet on crimson on lime. With that said, I am not cotton on jersey on denim. I am fur on silk on leather! My funeral shall be bright, my funeral shall be colourful. Wear what you must, but do not wear black. Let my example be your new tradition.


I'm too pretty to be narcissistic.


(If you look at my profile, you MUST leave a comment)

I would hesitate to say 'never.' In this world, there is no such thing as never, just unseen. The idea is present for all people with opposite sex friends. The idea of Will and Grace (if you've seen the show), you can never date one without the approval of the other. There seems to be something about dating someone who could be potentially viewed as a 'threat to your friendship' that often times hinders relationships.

I'm not sure what causes it but I can honestly say that even when I hung around my straight best friend all through high school it was tough for either of us to date anyone else. There was always a problem of them getting along with both the person they were dating and the friend. Eventually, the friendship faded and it became much easier to date, because the expectation was no longer to impress both people, but simply ourselves. He's now married, and I'm currently seeing someone (trying not to jinx it).

I will say this though, I found that the relationships that we did have while Jeremiah and I were close friends tended to be stronger relationships than the ones after. Might have to do with having to overcome the friend barrier, but can't say for sure.

P.S. I much prefer the term "fruitfly." Though, I usually try to use first names :)