That happened to me too years ago. A woman would occasionally just lie there. It was a real mood killer for me.

It doesn't happen so much these days because I know a few ways to get my partner(s) into a more active role. Before the sex or foreplay even starts, I want to make sure they are in a playful or passionate mood. For many men and women, if they aren't in the right mood at the start, they won't be in the right mood when it's time to bump body parts together.

I encourage them to be active during foreplay. Even if the person wants to lie back and receive some oral foreplay for a while, I don't let them just lie there passively for more than a few minutes. After a few minutes and right as I get them somewhat aroused, I tell them it's their turn to touch and tease me. At that point, they are aroused and wanting to go to the next step, but I tell them it's my turn before we go onto what they really want. They'll then pleasure me very playfully or passionately. They usually become very active and vigorous.

This doesn't work with every lover, but it does with many. Some people (women more so than men in my experience) are unsure of themselves sexually, have anxiety, or have some thoughts or issues affecting their mood. If you're adept at reading other people's emotions and guiding them through those anxieties or negative thoughts, you can often bring them to a place where they will feel comfortable being sexual with you. It's all about providing an emotionally safe place for them.