When I used to "do" women, I always found that for the most part (and happily not always) they enjoy being "taken" and I'd tease them to the point where occasionally they would reach a point telling me oh please, fuck me now....
I'd say you want this and put a few inches in and withdraw....and again they would plead more...and again I'd give them some inches, going slow at first and as long as she was a willing partner, harder and harder as it progressed. When I felt she couldn't stand, strange as it sounds, not being fucked any longer is when I'd give her my all, loving them in my own way, but being aggressive and "in charge".
I'm more or less the same way with men.
Only once was I really surprised when a guy I was with suddenly became more aggressive then me and more or less had me wanting him so bad. And then, when I couldn't stand it any longer is when he took me...and he was good and aggressive when doing so
I guess on some occasions I like getting "taken" but for the most part (almost all the time) I like to be in charge.
But not so much that it comes off as arrogant....I'd like to think of myself as a very confident lover.