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Effeminate gay men

What is your opinion of very effeminate gay men? I was in a restaurant one day, and two very effeminate "nelly" young men were shown to a table near mine. They were openly displaying all

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Old 02-08-2008   #1 (permalink)
BIGdkluver is offline

Effeminate gay men

What is your opinion of very effeminate gay men?

I was in a restaurant one day, and two very effeminate "nelly" young men were shown to a table near mine. They were openly displaying all the usual stereotypical traits like limp wristing, high-pitched talking, and even "snapping" in the air.

One of the waiters nearby began snickering at them behind their backs.
I must admit that I was somewhat embarrassed myself at their antics.

I realize that there are different types of gay men and that everyone has a right to be "himself," but I thought these two young men were pushing the envelope a little too far.

I assure you that this post is not meant to start a flood of anti-effeminate gay bashing. I'm just curious as to what other people have to say about the subject. Thanks.
BIGdkluver is offline  
Old 02-08-2008   #2 (permalink)
willow78 is offline


I don't really relate well to the 'femmies' because I'm not very 'femmy' myself but that doesn't necessarily mean I don't like them. If they are friendly and have a nice personality I get along with them fine. The ones that really piss me off are the bitchy queens who are nasty and rude to people about their clothes or their hair or their decor. I have no time for people like that.
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Old 02-08-2008   #3 (permalink)
penandpencil is offline


Agree.
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Old 02-08-2008   #4 (permalink)
Gonzo3 is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by BIGdkluver View Post
What is your opinion of very effeminate gay men?

I was in a restaurant one day, and two very effeminate "nelly" young men were shown to a table near mine. They were openly displaying all the usual stereotypical traits like limp wristing, high-pitched talking, and even "snapping" in the air.

One of the waiters nearby began snickering at them behind their backs.
I must admit that I was somewhat embarrassed myself at their antics.

I realize that there are different types of gay men and that everyone has a right to be "himself," but I thought these two young men were pushing the envelope a little too far.

I assure you that this post is not meant to start a flood of anti-effeminate gay bashing. I'm just curious as to what other people have to say about the subject. Thanks.
.............I personaly do not like effeminate men.
Gonzo3 is offline  
Old 02-08-2008   #5 (permalink)
crescendo69 is offline


They could be a light friend, but I doubt I could be attracted to one.
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Old 02-08-2008   #6 (permalink)
Dick_Dock_Doe is offline


I don't think it really matters. I believe what is more important is to ask ourselves why we find it so "offensive" for a man to be "swishy" or "effeminate." I think a lot of gay men find it difficult to deal with effeminate gay guys because they think that str8 people think that ALL gay men are effeminate and therefore "not manly." What is really unfortunate about this way of thinking is it gives credence to the archaic notion that gender is biological. Gender and gender expression are not based in biology.

What do I mean by all this? The fact that you had issues with these supposed "effeminate" men in the restaurant "openly" acting flamboyantly says more about your insecurities about how people perceive you as a gay man. I don't mean to say this to you in a mean-spirited way, and I hope you do not take it as such. There are always going to be ignorant assholes who believe that all groups are one way or another; there's nothing you can do to stop that except to be yourself and prove them wrong.

As for the effeminate gay dudes, consider our world that much richer for having people in it who defy definition, labels, and boxes. Next time, send them a martini and tell them to keep the flame burning bright!

Cheers!
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Old 02-08-2008   #7 (permalink)
invisibleman is offline


I don't have anything against the effeminate guys--gay, straight, or bisexual.

"isnt it ironic that you can write more about your self in the signature that your actual bio?lol"-- Hatt 101




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Old 02-08-2008   #8 (permalink)
NEWREBA is offline


i think that some gay guys enjoy having campy fun. it demolishes the whole macho stereotype & it's liberating for them too.
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Old 02-08-2008   #9 (permalink)
ThickPup is offline


Effeminate men never bothered me.
However, LOUD effeminate men who
have the need for attention and makes
a scene - now that's annoying.

Having said that, I find straight men who
have to be LOUD in a croud and make a scene,etc
- that's just as annoying.

I think it's all about how you present yourself
in your surroundings. You make a scene just to stand out,
you're going to get snickers and eye rolls.

My LPSG crushes: Calboner / Stretch / crs30uk / russray77 / powerlift66
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Old 02-08-2008   #10 (permalink)
Alex Chambers is offline


Sigh. It takes all kinds of people to fill up a world. Even if I don't like a person's beliefs or mannerisms, I will still try to be civil to that person--I think we owe one another at least that much. You may not be able to be the best friend to every person on earth, but you can still be a decent human being and show everyone a minimum level of respect and courtesy. I try to live by that.
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Old 02-08-2008   #11 (permalink)
ThickPup is offline


Alex, I do agree with you. I myself, don't react negatively towards others.
I don't care for certain behaviors, however I won't take that out on the individuals themselves.

My point is, if you're going to make a scene, don't be surprised when you get a reaction.

It's like someone who dyes their hair purple, come on, people are going to stare.

My LPSG crushes: Calboner / Stretch / crs30uk / russray77 / powerlift66
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Old 02-08-2008   #12 (permalink)
willow78 is offline


Quote:
Originally Posted by crescendo69 View Post
They could be a light friend, but I doubt I could be attracted to one.
I feel very much the same way. I've always been attracted to masculine type men - not necessarily macho he-men - just not the 'queeny' type. I have 'femmy' male friends but I've never been sexually attracted to them.
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Old 02-08-2008   #13 (permalink)
Buckstar is offline


I like all types. The older I get the more I think it hot to have some effeminate guy naked, totally turned on to me, ready to serve. That's my fantasy anyway. Think its sweet. On the other hand I like masculine men just as much and everything inbetween.
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Old 02-08-2008   #14 (permalink)
kalipygian is offline


I would have a bit more respect for people who are incapable of not being out, than those who are proud of being able to pass for straight.

The dizziest are often also the bravest.

Free Tibet, Cigar Babe, and LPSG
(have I been banned yet?)
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Old 02-08-2008   #15 (permalink)
crescendo69 is offline


You are probably correct, kalipygian. I have spent much of my life in fear of being too out, and it still affects my perceptions of others.
crescendo69 is offline  

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