ED problems and complete loss of libido?

Hello, long time member, first post though. Something I've been meaning to do for a while now. I'm 33, in good health, don't smoke, but do drink daily. Before I get started here, it should be noted up front that I've been to the doc several times about this, even to a urology specialist with no success. I have noticed recently a complete and total loss of my urge for anything sexual, and I have no clue what has caused it or what to do about it. I did go through a divorce about 2 years ago that was very hard. She was one girl I couldn't be around, even just hugging her without getting hard. Now, though, it seems the only place I know I can get hard is in front of the computer looking at porn. And even that now has started to become a problem. I've been used to masturbating 3 or 4 times a day on average for the past decade with no problems, usually always to porn. When this problem started, I decided to curb my porn addiction for a while. That didn't work. Even just laying in bed after a week without seeing a tit or pussy still left me just limp. And I'm not talking just normal soft.. almost as though it's just a dangling piece of flesh, a shadow of it's once glory. I've even encountered this problem with girls I'm webcamming with. You wanna talk about embarrassing... this is the absolute worst of it. The doctor put me on viagra, and when I'm with a girl it usually works, but there are times that even viagra (100mg) does NOTHING! I literally stand there and he's absolutely dead.

So, it's gotten down to the point that it's not just my erection that I'm having problems with, but even my libido. I can walk around the mall and check out all the cute gals and literally just have absolutely no interest in them. They are cute, I want them, but hell, my dick is just dead in the water, and I cant even get that pleasurable stirring in my hips that makes me hard in the first place. This problem has continued to get worse in the past few years to the point it is today. I've also noticed if I'm at work or something and suddenly make any rushed moves, say running 200 ft or something quickly, that I'll feel my dick get hard. It's not hard in the sense of a full erection, but rather it almost feels like one of those miniature hot dog links stuck in my skin (sorry, best way to describe it). As though the blood has all gelled up or something. It's usually shrunken up a bit and I can usually squeeze it though and it breaks up till it's back to it's usual soft self again.

The only other thing I may add is that I have always masturbated the same way, by using my left hand over my shaft pulling what loose skin I have over my head (yes cut) while my right hand rubs my perineum. I started doing it like that when I was a teenager, and found that if done hard enough, the sensation of pleasure was overwhelming and I wouldn't actually ejaculate. If I did it too much, then going to the bathroom afterwards would actually cause a burning sensation. So, I even decided to stop doing that and to let myself cum all over. After a few weeks however that has stopped as well. I've even gone so far as to do a colon cleanse thing, and started eating more fruits and vegetables while cutting back on the alcohol. And yet... I can still see a damn hot gal and know if she were to strip down naked in front of me, I wouldn't even be able to get it up for her.

It's taken a while for me to get the courage to post this, as it isn't what I'd call the best topic, but this is the only forum on the internet I know of that is dedicated to nothing but penis's. Does anybody have any suggestions as to what I can do to regain my old self again?

Find a chick that will watch porn with you.

Hi Hoss,

Very next place I would go is to an endocrinologist. I don't know where you live, but you may also find an andrologist. Andrologists are like a combination urologist/endocrinologist who specializes in male disorders. Usually they focus on fertility but they also work on precisely these issues.

Get a whole panel done including free and bound testosterone levels. Did the urologist do a Doppler flow? If not, he should. He should also check the prostate via ultrasound or a cystoscope to make sure you haven't damaged it (that's what you're massaging in your perineum).

Many times, endocrinologists will take a testosterone count and report the results as, "low-normal." If that's the case, start treatment anyway. What's low-normal for some men may actually be just plain, "low."

Do a search on secondary hypogonadism. It may give you some interesting reading. You may have to search for the right endocrinologist. You want one with extensive knowledge in treating male hormonal disorders.

You might try a few sessions with a therapist who can help you determine whether or not you got traumatized in the process of getting your divorce. That could be a cheaper and faster route than submitting to all the medical tests described above. The sessions wouldn't be a waste of money even if your not suffering from PTSD.

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Hoss,
To a degree, I know what you are going through. My libido has decreased significantly over the last 20 years (I'm in my mid-forties). If you have the luxury and availability of doctors, take advantage of them. As jason_els suggested, get all the tests you can.

There are 3 potential causes it seems:

1) Natural loss of libido as we age.
2) Mental condition
3) Physical condition

You may be suffering from any combination of the three but you need to address each individually to see how it may be affecting you.

You mention the divorce in your post so I wonder if that's something you've truly come to terms with. That alone could definitely cause trouble.

I know for me it's partially mental. I think many men would agree that the minute you start to dwell on the fact that your having erection problems, it just gets worse.

The key is to aggressively act on this and figure out what's going on. At 33 you should be enjoying a fulfilling and vibrant sex life.

Good Luck!

It's hard to say what's going on because there are many possibilities.

Some basic lab tests would not hurt:
-Testosterone (free testosterone is probably not necessary unless a person is obese or quite old).
-If testosterone is low, causes may be investigated with LH, FSH levels and perhaps prolactin levels... but really I don't see why it would be likely for an otherwise healthy 33 yo man like you to suddenly develop low testosterone... it's possible (e.g., you could have a prolactinoma), but not likely.

It could also be psychological: getting jaded from too much porn and/or developing performance anxiety...

Organic causes of ED in your age group would be unlikely, unless there was some significant injury to that area or you have early onset of significant arteriosclerosis (once again, unlikely).

Have the doctors done any tests on you yet? Have you noticed any other new symptoms not related to sexual function?

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Did the doctors check your testosoteronelevel?If that is not th eproblem then it seem sto m e like this dovorce damaged you emotionaly and thats why you are having these issues. I'm not a psycologist but I'm sure that talking to on might truly help. Good luck man!

Thank you for the replies. This actually started to creep up on me several years ago, when I was about 25 or so. I ended up having a 3some with 2 other girls, and when things started to get going, I realized I couldn't get him up to get a rubber on to have sex with the better of the two which wanted me! I ended up masturbating, but couldn't even do that.... Never really heard from either of them again, but it's been sporadic ever since then. I did see a counselor for my divorce and am dating somebody now who will watch porn with me. But once she's out of the house, and it's just me, it's just me, "he" isn't there anymore. Last weekend I noticed that I had a hard time getting him started when feeling her being dripping wet... something that is 99% of the time an instant turn on. Instead I felt like I wanted to get hard, but he wouldn't work. I do fear getting into a situation where I have to put on a condom cause the second I take my hand off my dick it'll start going down again.

The doc I went to did a testosterone check on me and said everything was "normal".. but that was it. I do wonder now if it wasn't borderline normal/low end.

ToBe, the biggest fear I do have is the psychological aspect of it. Since I don't know how on earth to deal with that. yeah, I could be a bit jaded from too much porn, I find I can't leave the stuff alone for more than 2 or 3 days, and that I have developed a bit of performance anxiety. How I address that though is beyond me. I will look up getting ahold of some endocrinologists and see what there is here in town. I'm in Kansas, near Wichita, so I'm sure there are plenty of docs available.

Again, thank you for the replies.

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Hoss, I think most of the above replies are right on target. I've had my share of lost libido, especially after my first marriage dissolved. I had a very caring physician who advised counseling, but did find that I had a physiological problem as well.

I never did take him up on the counseling preferring to winnow things out myself, but I found out later in life that that was a mistake. I should have gone to the therapist to enable my recovery earlier. My lifestyle at the time didn't lend itself well to being tied down with a long-term commitment, but I should have committed to it.

Get close to your doctor or find one who really cares. That made all the difference in the world to me.

Good luck with the situation. Just remember, it may not be permanent so don't let it weigh on you.

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I agree with most of the postings:
short list, see an endocrinologist, testosterone, thyroid even adrenal glands. Theres also a pituitary problem known as CUSHING SYNDROME, it can cause Men have decreased fertility with diminished or absent desire for sex. also can be thin frail depressed if prolonged or gain weight. It usually happens in younger men if it does so check it out.

once al is ruled out the other might be PTSD or a variant depression like season affective disorder etc. either way back to a pecialist that might be able to help. Good luck

http://my.manhunt.net/scruffylookin

Well, I made an appointment with a counselor to discuss possible anxiety issues. I also discussed seeing an endocrinologist regarding my problem. I guess both are going to be in my schedule sometime soon.

I did have something happen today that got me thinking. I was driving out to my gf's for lunch when a car got behind me with a teenage couple driving... or attempting to drive following me. I noticed them at a stop light behind me, the girl was all over this guy while at the red light. It was painfully obvious that they were both too horny to be on the road. The light went green, and I took off, watching them in my rear view mirror. Eventually it was obvious.. albeit very obvious that she was giving him a handjob while he was driving, and still trying to make out with him at the same time. I suddenly felt myself going into shock it seemed. As though I was watching something I shouldn't have, like true passion, love making and all that. I eventually found myself literally in shock and was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't bring myself to stop watching them. Instead of the situation making me horny, it instead lead me to feeling so insanely jealous that I couldn't take it. This went on for nearly 8 miles, then they finally turned off the road. I smiled at the guy as I passed him and he gave me this "go to hell" look. Oh well, fuck him, he was the envy of everybody out there and couldn't even be proud. Anyways, I drove on to my gf's for lunch and found I wasn't able to calm down from what I had seen. My chest was burning, and I was actually beginning to get depressed. I started to think about my post here and thought I'd reply with this little story. I never once got hard from watching the couple, or even later thinking about it more and more. I came home and sat down to watch some porn and jack off, only thing is though, I couldn't get hard. Even alone, by myself, watching whatever I wanted, he wasn't there.

I've noticed lately that my cum has started to get extremely watery. And my precum isn't even thick and stringy anymore. It's just wet, excessive and clear. I'm beginning to think I'm probably sterile. The more I have thought about yesterdays events (since isn't now almost 3am), the more I realized how much things changed after my divorce. I was with an extremely attractive girl, who I had put so many hopes into. Just being around her made me hard, she had the most beautiful pussy of any girl I had ever been with, and I've been with over 50. Before I got married, it seemed that just the thought of a possible sexual encounter would get me stirring. Now, there's nothing, not even a mere tingle down below. Perhaps it's not having a girl come onto me that is as attractive as my ex was. She was cute.. damn cute, but bipolar also, I hope that explains it all. So.. here I am.. writing my novel... sorry for being so long..

I'm glad you're seeing a counsellor. It seems to have a strong psychological component to me.

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Hoss,
Your description of the altered quality of your semen suggests a medical problem, probabaly related to hormonal regulation. I agree with Jason and others that this should be investigated. An endocrynologist may be able to help but what I would really look for is a urologist specializing in male fertility issues. My guess, although I am not a physician, is that your testosterone levels have dropped due to some separate medical reason. Some of the possibilities are physical injury (unlikely unless both testes were injured), heart or arterial disease (unlikely unless you are quite overweight), insipient diabetes, which would probably have turned into a medical crisis by now.
Two other possibilities occur to me. First, have you been using anabolic steroids? That stuff tends to shut down your testes and can cause similar symptoms. Second, is there any possibility that you have Lyme disease? I am in contact with a lot of lymies and know that many males who have Lyme, regardless of age, have very low testosterone. In fact, i know of no male lymies whose tesoterone level is lab-verified normal.
About yesterday's events, my take on it is that maybe witnessing all that adolescent lust got you in contact with your losses and your grief. Just a thought.
Dave

I'm not sure how to go about checking for Lyme disease, or what I could have been in contact with that would give me the disease. I am 33, 5'8" and 165 lbs. The only thing I can think of is I did a colon cleanse here for the past few months. That wouldn't affect anything though. I've been taking Meridia for some time now, as my weight shot up to around 180 and was still climbing a few years ago. However, even before taking it I was having this problem. And I do go off of it for 6 months at a time, with no change in my condition. I do randomly take vitamins, but no drugs, other than alcohol.

In regards to what I witnessed yesterday, I felt some things that even though I'm anonymous here I don't even want to admit to. Even myself looking at it I can't help but to think I'm one seriously messed up dude. Though nobody would ever guess it if they met me on the street. Yesterday, I felt like just trying to find a hole somewhere and climbing in and never coming out. I guess it's something I'll resolve next week when I visit the counselor.

Oh well, I went through enough hell when my ex left, I had never gone through such anguish before in my life. Something she doesn't care about though. But there is a silver lining in the cloud I guess. I recently found out my ex has moved in and out with 6 guys since she left me (in 2 yrs time) and may have cervical cancer... :) paybacks a bitch ain't it..

Ending post in a damn good mood. I'll have to call my doc on Monday to see the local urologist. The closest registered endocrinologist is 200 miles away.

There is a blood test for Lyme disease. But, I really doubt that you have Lyme disease. You are not describing any of its main symptoms, plus you are in the wrong geographic area (only about 200 cases in Kansas over the past decade...)

In truth, you probably don't need to see an endocrinologist right away. A primary care doc can order basic labs for you:
-testosterone
-semen analysis
-possibly cortisol level and prolactin level if there is a suspicion of Cushing syndrome/disease or a prolactinoma.

I would start with a testosterone level and semen analysis. The results would give clues about how to do further tests; if anything, they could provide you with reassurance if they are normal. If the inital lab results bring up concerns, a referral to an endocrinologist would be appropriate.

Urologists are trained as surgeons mainly and their knowledge of hormonal issues isn't always very strong... however, those who deal with ED a lot might be OK.