474 Words Today = A Struggle
Posted 03-25-2010 at 10:13 PM by stu.kay823
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]In recent days I have fumbled and fought my way through a few attempts at beginning this blog. Nothing seems to fit snugly at the moment. The first words I wrote – and indeed subsequently struck out – were “I’m frightened ...” I did not want you to see that spineless, rank with debility, salutation; but I think it might be better in the end. It is far more telling of where my thoughts reside than a florid lie and a forced smile. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]Last night was the first sound night’s sleep I have had in a couple of weeks. It makes for a nice change that the night was also dreamless. As comforting as that sounds, it is an exhortation. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]I had little idea of how portentous my last blog would be. I received a morsel from you, to my delight. Even as recently as Tuesday afternoon, I would have fallen apart with your glance. You know how circumspect my compliments can be, but it is the most exquisite morsel. I will savour it. If that passes muster as ‘greed’, then I make no apology for it. I’m famished, honey. I am keen to discover how you are coping, break some of the loneliness, ask what news you have, and share some of my news. It has been [B][I]so long[/I][/B] with any lengthy word from you. A three word email, two photographs (which made my day) and now post with a single punctuation mark in seven, almost eight, weeks is all I have. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]But, let me finish, I understand why, albeit begrudgingly. The resent that I feel is not directed at you, but the adverse situation we are in; and I can find nothing to turn to our advantage. I needed to be reminded of that. As desperate as I am, and as helpless as I feel, I can only remain vigilant. I hope that you eagerly await our ‘reunion’ equivalently. I hope it shall be soon. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]Naturally I have had moments of weakness, most recently three hours ago; sending you a text, but largely I have been able to fight temptation and its arguments; each succinct counterargument more watertight than the last.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]I’ve still got twenty minutes on the card.[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]Save it. You can’t afford a new card just at the minute[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]How easy would it be to punch in those eleven digits?[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]She hasn’t taken your last 3 calls, and you’ve told her you’re gonna call.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]It’s almost [/COLOR][COLOR=red]6 pm[/COLOR][COLOR=red] Thursday there[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]More than likely she’s at work[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]I could just leave a voice mail[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]That costs you five minutes for when you really wanna talk to her.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER][/CENTER]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]So, it’s a return to a diet of concrete-by-the-spoonful. If it pulls me through, along with my being (uncharacteristically) laconic, then it will be done.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]More to be said, but not yet. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]Last night was the first sound night’s sleep I have had in a couple of weeks. It makes for a nice change that the night was also dreamless. As comforting as that sounds, it is an exhortation. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]I had little idea of how portentous my last blog would be. I received a morsel from you, to my delight. Even as recently as Tuesday afternoon, I would have fallen apart with your glance. You know how circumspect my compliments can be, but it is the most exquisite morsel. I will savour it. If that passes muster as ‘greed’, then I make no apology for it. I’m famished, honey. I am keen to discover how you are coping, break some of the loneliness, ask what news you have, and share some of my news. It has been [B][I]so long[/I][/B] with any lengthy word from you. A three word email, two photographs (which made my day) and now post with a single punctuation mark in seven, almost eight, weeks is all I have. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]But, let me finish, I understand why, albeit begrudgingly. The resent that I feel is not directed at you, but the adverse situation we are in; and I can find nothing to turn to our advantage. I needed to be reminded of that. As desperate as I am, and as helpless as I feel, I can only remain vigilant. I hope that you eagerly await our ‘reunion’ equivalently. I hope it shall be soon. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]Naturally I have had moments of weakness, most recently three hours ago; sending you a text, but largely I have been able to fight temptation and its arguments; each succinct counterargument more watertight than the last.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[CENTER][CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]I’ve still got twenty minutes on the card.[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]Save it. You can’t afford a new card just at the minute[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]How easy would it be to punch in those eleven digits?[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]She hasn’t taken your last 3 calls, and you’ve told her you’re gonna call.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]It’s almost [/COLOR][COLOR=red]6 pm[/COLOR][COLOR=red] Thursday there[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]More than likely she’s at work[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]
[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]I could just leave a voice mail[/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] / [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]That costs you five minutes for when you really wanna talk to her.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER][/CENTER]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2]So, it’s a return to a diet of concrete-by-the-spoonful. If it pulls me through, along with my being (uncharacteristically) laconic, then it will be done.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]More to be said, but not yet. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
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