I wish your words could linger, not fade. The delight that accompanies them dissipates all too quickly. There simply [B]must[/B] be some way to capture that sublime thrill, that indecisive moment between fear and ecstasy. Are they tidings of good or ill?

So many scars – both “fresh” and long healed – bruises, nobbles, gnarls and abrasions litter my body that I hardly remember which have been inflicted by successive generations of “her” and which have not. I used to – remember –...

On Saturday I turn 26. I feel a little strange about it. There really isn’t any celebration in turning 26. I mean we (in occidental society) make such a deal of turning 1, 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 and 21 – and indeed to a lesser extent – 25, but 26 just feels kinda flat. For reasons that I will not elaborate on here, it is an achievement that I even made 1 year old.

Aside from that, things are pretty good. I haven't been well the last few days: migraine and a slight tickle in the throat. I...

[CENTER][CENTER][I]When I was all messed up[/I][/CENTER][/CENTER]
[CENTER][CENTER][I]And I heard opera in my head[/I][/CENTER][/CENTER]
[CENTER][CENTER][I]Your love was a light bulb[/I][/CENTER][/CENTER]
[CENTER][CENTER][I]Hanging over my bed[/I][/CENTER][/CENTER]

Consecutive sleepless nights and I find myself, cursing, wishing we’d never crossed paths. Flipside is I can’t imagine where I’d be without you. Nor can you.

I think I just heard...

Even after a decent night’s sleep my mind cannot adequately process what I am thinking. Two hours of sitting by this blank computer screen has not helped. I feel vindicated in my worry, but there is no accompanying sense of pride in that. Fear overrides. But soon that will subside and its wake will be filled again by you with who knows what ….

I’d been so consumed by my thoughts I hadn’t even felt the tears coursing down my cheek as I lay in bed alone. Nine minutes past midnight....

To my surprise, I've had 12 incident-free days in this (fuck-buddy-imposed) 21-day embargo on my sex life. She's given me nothing since the start of the month, and I have to say that I feel better for it. When she said this was what she was planning, I thought she was kidding. Then I realised she wasn't. The question of "what's in it for me?" was broached.

Smiling coyly, she kissed me. "Hotel room for the weekend and my 3L kit. I'll even throw in a surprise or two, given...