I was talking to my mom the other day about something I cant even remeber, and I was looking through some old pictures of me from when I was a baby. I found one of me holding this huge trophy (I was about four in the pic) She said that told me that when I was younger I competed in male beauty pagents (cutie pagents as I call them). I thought she was joking at first but she wasn't. I asked her more about it and she said I did really well (I started when I was 2 and stopped doing it when I was 5 and...

I have been having nightmare's on and off all night [at the moment I have been waking up every half hour or so]. I'm worried about this job, and I know it's stupid to dwell on it, but I need it. I HATE when it feels like im piggy-backing my girlfriend for everything [I would love to pay for things when we go out but I can't a lot of the time]. I know im supposed to stay positive, but i've been handed so much shit in my life that i'm afriad that this will end the same way.