Asking a straight guy to suck his dick

Playinpitt

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OI. I don't know why I am going to waste my electrons on this.. but for some misguided, probably masochistic reason, I want to weigh in on this thread.

An old friend of mine studied human sexuality (well, really, just sexuality as some of her studies covered animal behavior as well). Real, honest, graduate school, doctorate type stuff, it's her career.

As a young, dumb, cocksucker, I shared with her my frustrations that I'd hook-up with these hot, amazing guys and they'd always come back for sex, but none were progressing into relationships, which I wanted. As she was in the field of the mind and behavior it's an occupational hazard that she often "analyzes" her friends' behavior by default.

At first she though I was just picking slutty men, more interested in sex than LTRs.. This was college after all. But as we chatted, she hit on a new theory and explained to me the following:

Analytically there are three aspects to Human sexuality:
Behavioral (who you fuck)
Orientational (Who you feel yourself drawn to fuck)
and
Identificational (who you tell yourself and the world that you fuck)

These aspects are often at variance and even conflict. And her theory was this:

She suspected I was being drawn to and playing with men who were B: Bi, O: Bi or Straight and I: Straight. SO I was likely never going to find a guy in that pool that would be comfortable changing his I: to Bi or Gay; and so relationships were out of the question.

This is how you can have folks like Ted Haggard who is at least Functionally Bi behaviorally, Identifies to the world as straight and could realistically be Orientationally Gay. And it explains how some of the biggest conservative homophobes are often closet-cases. They know how it is to love the cock, but in their world view they've done the hard work of keeping their Behavior Straight, (at least mostly) so they can claim that title of "straight".

Which touches on the conflict between alwaysguessing and nwnccpl over how a man letting one man suck him no longer qualifies as Straight and a man that loves the cock can fuck 100s of women and still be gay. Kelly explained that there is an inherent cultural bias towards heterosexuality. Consciously or not, it is held as the standard and other orientations are viewed as deviations from it. Many folks view that any deviation from strict heterosexuality invalidates you for the title, even if it is one in 1000s. Logically, this doesn't make sense, but it is how a lot of society views it. Just like some folks count you as a virgin as long as you haven't had genital penetrative sex. while other's view even masturbatory play as removing that valued title from you.

Tied into this is her pet theory that there is a 4th aspect or at least sub-aspect of sexuality: Orientation for relationships. Who you want to fuck and form a pair bond with. There are many people that want to fuck more types of people than those they want to fuck and date. Like chubby chasers that like to fuck BBWs or BBGs but still date and marry the skinny trophy wife.

So it is possible to be straight and let a guy blow you. In fact I know guys who are only attracted to women, Identify as straight and for at least a brief time had only had gay sex. (the one didn't even know that the hooker he picked up to get his first and only BJ before his wedding, was a trans). The other guy is a good looking guy; but he is such an ASS around and to women that so far none have let him get beyond heavy petting, before storming off. So a few years back he adjusted to letting guys blow him as an alternative to jerking off.

go figure.

Another time, I'll bore y'all with her other theory that Gay-Bi-Straight categories are stupid and don't cut it for describing orientational sexuality. That some folks are attracted to Masculine attributes (in men, women or both). Some are attracted only to breasts (irrespective of the genitals below those breasts) Some are attracted to androgyny, some to feminine traits (on men, women or both).

It occurs to me, that this theory would be useful to explain the 100% straight LPSGers that just love them some big dicks.

To answer the OP's question, given the above info..
Setting aside that some folks are going to view ANY overt offer of sex as rude...

NO, it is not rude to offer a single man you believe to be straight a BJ.
YES, it is rude to offer ANY man in a relationship a BJ as you are basically stating that you believe he has the morals of a cheater (unless in an open relationship, obviously).
and to alwaysguessing's point:

YES, it is rude to offer sex to someone who has previously turned you down. Whether they turned you down because you are the wrong gender or not, isn't the point. Maybe they would let another guy blow them and they just aren't comfortable with YOU. Maybe they like redheads not blondes.. it doesn't matter, they told you NO, TO pursue it, is rude.

All that said (and I said a LOT) It doesn't mean people won't do it and that sometimes people don't change their minds... I know I've been guilty of it in the past. Sometimes you get blinded by the shiny toy you want and get out of line.
 

D_Wally Walnuts

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Kelly explained that there is an inherent cultural bias towards heterosexuality. Consciously or not, it is held as the standard and other orientations are viewed as deviations from it. Many folks view that any deviation from strict heterosexuality invalidates you for the title, even if it is one in 1000s.

It makes sense when you put it that way. It usually works that way for the majority...
 

hungthickone

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I can't believe I'm answering this question.

Once you have had a man suck your dick, news flash, you're not fucking straight!

NEWS FLASH, having your cock sucked by a dude makes u Gay???? hardly!

But if your friend knows your gay and hasnt got a problem with that fact, then you might not want to just up and ask to suck his cock. If he was interested he would let u know in some way.

quote playinpit: 'Another time, I'll bore y'all with her other theory that Gay-Bi-Straight categories are stupid and don't cut it for describing orientational sexuality. That some folks are attracted to Masculine attributes (in men, women or both). Some are attracted only to breasts (irrespective of the genitals below those breasts) Some are attracted to androgyny, some to feminine traits (on men, women or both).

It occurs to me, that this theory would be useful to explain the 100% straight LPSGers that just love them some big dicks.'

agree 100%
 

B_dxjnorto

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I can't believe I'm answering this question.

Once you have had a man suck your dick, news flash, you're not fucking straight!
I can't believe the response. These things are transmitted by society. Who says you can't be a straight guy who enjoyed a BJ by a willing friend?

I've never understood why there has to be this line in the sand beyond which your self-image is forever changed.
 

TomCat84

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Once you have had a man suck your dick, news flash, you're not fucking straight!

Stupidest thing I ever read on this site. By your idiot logic, I fucked one woman and therefore AM NOT GAY! Or does this one apple spoils the bunch theory not work in reverse?

Well, you don't classify yourself as 100% gay- you're 20% straight- so, a tad bisexual. Ergo, not gay. SO yes.
 

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Actually, I can see his point in this case. He did say that he "had made it clear that (he was) straight", in his hypothetical.

People who can't take no for an answer, and those who persist in making advances despite knowing that said advances are unwelcome, deserve that metaphorical kick to the ovaries that you mentioned.

Seriously.

"objective question" :tongue:...

How do you "make it clear that you straight",,, "Hi, I'm Bob and I'm straight, DON'T ask to suck my cock"?

I know, I know, that's over the top :cool:. But to say that you would get pissed and react if you were approached, even though you have never given any same-sex vibes, is a bit over reacting, if not homophobic (Sp?)

alwaysguessing's first post was very good, but then he started drifting towards the above :frown1:

Newer members may not have had a chance to see them, but the subject of "persistence", once the answer is "no" has been thoroughly covered here and not condoned by the majority. But the OP hasn't given any indication that he's asked, beeen told "No", and kept asking anyway. As has been expressed, imho, the main issue with his question was "What if he's in a relationship with a gf".
 

B_dxjnorto

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It sounds like some guys are out trying to notch their belts with straight guy conquests. And maybe some are. But it is equally likely that is a misimpression by aloof straight guys.

From my point of view, you'd have to actually put your dick in their mouth and see if it gets hard before you can truthfully say you would not enjoy it. Once I let a hot tub buddy twenty years older than me suck my dick for a bit and it didn't get hard. Ergo; reinforced my impression that I would not be sexually turned on by him.
 

Countryguy63

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why are you being such a fucking dick? Stop fucking cursing at every fucking person who replies to you or posts a reply in general, it makes you look like a fucking douchebag who noone wants to interact with.

I still wanna "interact" with him, but he'd just say "No". :mad:

maybe I'll just take him over to the "fondling and sucking a sleeping straight guy" thread, and try there :tongue: :la:
 

rob_just_rob

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"objective question" :tongue:...

How do you "make it clear that you straight",,, "Hi, I'm Bob and I'm straight, DON'T ask to suck my cock"?

Pretty much just like that.

I went to a university with a fairly visible gay population. I got hit on a lot by gay guys. After I got over the surprise/shock (I hadn't met any openly gay people in high school), my stock answer was something along the lines of "that's flattering, but I'm straight and not interested."

I don't expect people to be able to read minds, but I do expect them to respect the answer they're given, even if it is a rejection.


I know, I know, that's over the top :cool:. But to say that you would get pissed and react if you were approached, even though you have never given any same-sex vibes, is a bit over reacting, if not homophobic (Sp?)

I wouldn't get pissed if I got approached by someone who didn't know me.

I would get pissed off when people refused to take no for an answer. That's assholish, whether it comes from gay men, or straight women. Or "straight" men, for that matter.

Sorry, but it's not homophobic to get pissed off when you're being hassled, or when you're told that you're "in denial".


alwaysguessing's first post was very good, but then he started drifting towards the above :frown1:

Newer members may not have had a chance to see them, but the subject of "persistence", once the answer is "no" has been thoroughly covered here and not condoned by the majority. But the OP hasn't given any indication that he's asked, beeen told "No", and kept asking anyway. As has been expressed, imho, the main issue with his question was "What if he's in a relationship with a gf".

When alwaysguessing said that he had made it clear that he was straight, I took that to mean that he made his sexuality clear to the person hitting on him. I suppose you saw it differently.
 

alwaysguessing

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S'exactly why I kicked the ovaries of the last chick who offered me a BJ. Stupid bimbo, who does she think she is showering me with lovely platitudes and offering to suck my cock, knowing full well that I am gay?! Don't ever insult me again by admitting your deep sexual attraction toward me. Damn rude woman. Grrrr!:rolleyes:

You're a fucking twat, seriously.

Care to rationalize why I am not allowed to be offended by unwelcome sexual advances? I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to hear this one. Just because you're cool it does not mean everyone in the world is required to as well. Sheesh.


Playinpitt, that was very interesting and thorough. Thank you for sharing that valuable information. However, I still disagree that it is not rude to do what this guy is asking. I feel that I am entitled to say this because I am 100% straight. I would find it rude if I were asked. I think I am certainly entitled to have my opinions on sexual advances made towards me. That does not make me a homophobe. Anyone who thinks that makes me a homophobe, is what I will then refer to as a "heterophobe".

How do you "make it clear that you straight",,, "Hi, I'm Bob and I'm straight, DON'T ask to suck my cock"?

I know, I know, that's over the top :cool:. But to say that you would get pissed and react if you were approached, even though you have never given any same-sex vibes, is a bit over reacting, if not homophobic (Sp?)

alwaysguessing's first post was very good, but then he started drifting towards the above :frown1:

Newer members may not have had a chance to see them, but the subject of "persistence", once the answer is "no" has been thoroughly covered here and not condoned by the majority. But the OP hasn't given any indication that he's asked, beeen told "No", and kept asking anyway. As has been expressed, imho, the main issue with his question was "What if he's in a relationship with a gf".

I understand it might be hard to know sometimes. However, if I have a girlfriend, have never shown any appreciation for the looks of a man, have only talked about women that I find attractive and women that I have been with, have never dropped the slightest hint to my openly gay friend or acquaintance that I might be the slightest bit interested in or attracted to him or any man, then I think it's a pretty safe bet.

In any case, the issue here isn't whether or not the guy is straight. In this situation, we are told to assume that he is indeed straight. And by "straight", I'm assuming that the OP meant that he does not generally get blown by men. Apparently I am wrong in believing that a man, who calls himself straight, does not have sex with other men. This is truly an eye opening experience for me to see how many people disagree with me on that. But I have a hunch that the OP is using the term "straight" to mean that he has expressed no interest in receiving oral sex from men. If that's not what he meant, then I don't think there would be any issue here, and he never would have asked for advice in the first place.

The main issue, in my not so humble opinion, is that he is straight (whatever the hell that means these days), and NOT the caveat that he might have a girlfriend too. If the girlfriend were the main issue, then the question probably would have been written like this:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Asking a guy with a girlfriend to suck his dick
Anything wrong with that??

What do you think he'd say?? What If he's straight??
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Am I right?


Also, I'm sick of being referred to as a homophobe because I don't want to have sex with men, nor be harassed to do so. Some people are trying to escalate and imply that I would get violent. I never said that so give it up. It seriously might end a friendship though. Is it ok for me to just come out and ask one of my involved lesbian friends to suck my dick? She better not react unfavorably or she will then be labeled a "heterophobe"!!!!
 
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alwaysguessing

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I still wanna "interact" with him, but he'd just say "No". :mad:

maybe I'll just take him over to the "fondling and sucking a sleeping straight guy" thread, and try there :tongue: :la:

Aww, thanks bud. :smile:

See! That doesn't bother me. I'm actually flattered!

Nonetheless I shall steer clear of the aforementioned thread and any potentially similar real life situation! :scared2:
 

alwaysguessing

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Sorry Bud, but if so many people are getting that impression, you may want to reconsider what you may be projecting :smile:

Oh is that a fact?

"So many people" used to and still do believe that homosexuality is wrong. And in fact that belief was so widely accepted, at times, that it was against the law and even punishable by torture and death! But that was okay then because the majority ruled, right?

Really though, please elaborate some, and try to be specific and objective. Why am I a homophobe?
 
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Countryguy63

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I see where alwaysguessing is coming from.The thing in my book is:if someone is hitting on you of either preference and you are NOT interested, then you are NOT interested, end of story. If the person persists and you have been polite, then it's a simple case of "Fuck OFF". It does not matter what's what or who's who.No means NO.


I TOTALLY agree!!

Maybe I missed it, but could somebody point me to where it was clarified that the OP clarified that his straight friend had already said no?

I'm not trying to be difficult here, but I think we got off the original intent of the OP (who I wish would come back and clear it up)
 

D_Relentless Original

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I TOTALLY agree!!

Maybe I missed it, but could somebody point me to where it was clarified that the OP clarified that his straight friend had already said no?

I'm not trying to be difficult here, but I think we got off the original intent of the OP (who I wish would come back and clear it up)

Wow D, you are fast, sorry i deleted my post, i kinda think i misread the whole thread, i got really confused in this thread for some reason. Can we have the top and bottom of what we are disagreeing on?