Asking a straight guy to suck his dick

B_dxjnorto

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Invisibleman the gist of it is how would you know unless you ask? People go around all the time guessing. I'd rather get it out there and clear the air myself. I have straight friends who are homophobic. And they are not much different than me. They've just bought society's facade of culturally appropriate sexuality hook, line and sinker. To some degree, homophobia is self-loathing. You can't accept your brothers. ALL your brothers. I know because I've been there and done that. Most guys grow out of it. Alwaysguessing -- he's still guessing. He'll grow out of it in about twenty years.
 

alwaysguessing

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Invisibleman the gist of it is how would you know unless you ask? People go around all the time guessing. I'd rather get it out there and clear the air myself. I have straight friends who are homophobic. And they are not much different than me. They've just bought society's facade of culturally appropriate sexuality hook, line and sinker. To some degree, homophobia is self-loathing. You can't accept your brothers. ALL your brothers. I know because I've been there and done that. Most guys grow out of it. Alwaysguessing -- he's still guessing. He'll grow out of it in about twenty years.

Invisible man was extremely clear about this:

But if he ever utters "I'M STRAIGHT." "I have a wifey and kids." " I have a girlfriend." I am no longer interested.

He has no delusions about sexuality like you seem to be afflicted with. If a guy tells you those things, and you still think maybe he will let you suck his dick, you are in denial. It's just plain sad, and it's simply rude to push him for sex after the fact.

So now it's about my age is it? I'm too young to know who I really want to have sex with? I'm too young to know what it means when a person makes it clear they are not interested in me? This is really sick.

Stop deflecting and answer my question. What if I a woman makes it clear that she is not interested, and I just flat out ask to perform oral on her. There is nothing wrong with that, correct? I want to hear you say it.
 

invisibleman

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Invisibleman the gist of it is how would you know unless you ask? People go around all the time guessing. I'd rather get it out there and clear the air myself. I have straight friends who are homophobic. And they are not much different than me. They've just bought society's facade of culturally appropriate sexuality hook, line and sinker. To some degree, homophobia is self-loathing. You can't accept your brothers. ALL your brothers. I know because I've been there and done that. Most guys grow out of it.

I agree. I don't mind asking when it is appropriate. Otherwise, I am not assuming anything.

I don't really know what "society's facade of culturally appropriate sexuality" is. But if I asked many men tomorrow, I would get some same answers...and I would get some different answers. So, hopefully, society knows to keep an open mind. Because I am not into a lot of things that many may like...and others may not like what I like...but the world is big enough and roomy enough to respect whatever we like so we can freely indulge.
 

Countryguy63

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The way I see it if you are a confident straight man, you just don't care. So there is no reason to be angry or reactive.

Now, hold on dx,,,
I thought he did a good job of explaining his position, although I don't think, or I hope that his friend wouldn't keep asking after he politely explained why he wasn't interested. That would be rude, disrespectful, and cause to get angry. I think if he truly answered in the way he presented, that is a VERY confident straight man. No means NO, even after the 1st time!

Of course if someone is annoyingly persistent in any request you don't care to entertain, eventually you won't associate with that person. End of story.

Ok, so when do you consider it persistant? After the first "No", the second, the fifth?

Invisibleman the gist of it is how would you know unless you ask? People go around all the time guessing. I'd rather get it out there and clear the air myself. I have straight friends who are homophobic. And they are not much different than me. They've just bought society's facade of culturally appropriate sexuality hook, line and sinker. To some degree, homophobia is self-loathing. You can't accept your brothers. ALL your brothers. I know because I've been there and done that. Most guys grow out of it. Alwaysguessing -- he's still guessing. He'll grow out of it in about twenty years.

That's just it. His friend asked, and he said NO. No guessing required. Cripes, I'm all for a good bj, but I would get pissed if someone didn't take no for an answer.


I never get asked.

Uhm....:wink:....Me....You....:bj:......:biggrin1:
 

B_dxjnorto

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Now, hold on dx
Well, let's just say the difference between an insecure "straight" guy and a more relaxed bisexual (whatever that means) or gay guy is about twenty years. There's plenty of us on here. Yourself included if I have correctly gathered. Apologies if not.
 

alwaysguessing

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Well, let's just say the difference between an insecure "straight" guy and a more relaxed bisexual (whatever that means) or gay guy is about twenty years. There's plenty of us on here. Yourself included if I have correctly gathered. Apologies if not.

Your weak argument no longer has a leg to stand on, so you keep resorting to the ludicrous generalization that young men are not capable of determining their own sexuality.

You're hopeless, and it has nothing to do with your sexual preference, or your age.

And country guy is a TRUE confident and respectful gay man, and I commend him. Cheers, brother! :usa2:
 
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FRE

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Your weak argument no longer has a leg to stand on, so you keep resorting to the ludicrous generalization that young men are not capable of determining their own sexuality.

You're hopeless, and it has nothing to do with your sexual preference, or your age.

And country guy is a TRUE confident and respectful gay man, and I commend him. Cheers, brother! :usa2:

Some young men are confused or even wrong about their sexuality.

Suppose that a kid is 30% gay and 70% non gay. If he has had little contact with girls, he may become aware of hit attraction to boys before he becomes aware of his attraction to girls. If that causes him to panic, the panic may block out his feelings for girls until or unless he can develop a more relaxed attitude towards his sexuality.

Sometimes it takes time for a kid to sort out his feelings.
 

alwaysguessing

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Some young men are confused or even wrong about their sexuality.

Suppose that a kid is 30% gay and 70% non gay. If he has had little contact with girls, he may become aware of hit attraction to boys before he becomes aware of his attraction to girls. If that causes him to panic, the panic may block out his feelings for girls until or unless he can develop a more relaxed attitude towards his sexuality.

Sometimes it takes time for a kid to sort out his feelings.

While I fully support that, it's an aside to the discussion at hand.
 

DiscoBoy

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Care to rationalize why I am not allowed to be offended by unwelcome sexual advances? I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to hear this one. Just because you're cool it does not mean everyone in the world is required to as well. Sheesh.
Truthfully, this post made it seem as if your reaction would be quite an unpleasant one, violent even.

And I'm still not sure in what context this question is being asked. Has the person made it blatantly clear that they've no attraction to the person proposing the idea? Is simply knowing that the potential trick is the opposite sexual orientation enough to warrant a genuinely flagrant negative reaction? People are curious beings, and it's only natural that many would want to experience certain things, despite identifying as one orientation.

To have to reject a person more than once, sexual orientation/gender aside, is more than just reason to be chafed.

Mind you, like invisibleman, I've no attraction whatsoever to a male once I know they're straight.

In any case, the issue here isn't whether or not the guy is straight. In this situation, we are told to assume that he is indeed straight. And by "straight", I'm assuming that the OP meant that he does not generally get blown by men. Apparently I am wrong in believing that a man, who calls himself straight, does not have sex with other men. This is truly an eye opening experience for me to see how many people disagree with me on that.
Your problem is that you've made the concept of "straight" fall under such a suffocatingly small template. Sexual experiences are not synonymous with sexual orientation. You can have had hetero/homo sexual experiences, as well as enjoy the physical pleasure derived from being with a wo/man, but continue to be entirely homo/hetero.

But I have a hunch that the OP is using the term "straight" to mean that he has expressed no interest in receiving oral sex from men. If that's not what he meant, then I don't think there would be any issue here, and he never would have asked for advice in the first place.
I don't think straight men routinely explicitly state their lack of interest in receiving oral sex from men. Especially not every time they're introduced to a new group of people.

There's a pivotal difference between "I'm straight", and "I'm not attracted to you". Granted, the first should be enough to ward off undesirables, but it isn't as there can be quite a bit of flexibility. If gay men want to try their luck, so be it.
Also, I'm sick of being referred to as a homophobe because I don't want to have sex with men, nor be harassed to do so.
I don't think you're a homophobe, but I do think you're quite close-minded when it comes to human sexuality. You're seeing things entirely too black and white. Anyway, we can simply agree to disagree when it comes to these things.

Some people are trying to escalate and imply that I would get violent. I never said that so give it up. It seriously might end a friendship though.
That was the impression I got, you're right. I apologise for assuming that, and ending a friendship due to awkward, unwelcome sexual advances I think is fair enough.
 

alwaysguessing

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Thanks DB. I'll just accept that the word straight does not have any clear, consistent meaning in our society.

I also agree that gay men should feel free to try their luck, and I think that aligns with my initial response to this thread. However, I also caution that the reaction may be undesirable.