What freyasfolk said.
I attended a lot of "lifestyle" parties in the 70s and 80s and as recently as 6 years ago. No one assumed they would get AIDS because "only gays get AIDS." Of course, we all know better.
I never assumed I could just fuck any woman I wanted to. In fact, I never wanted to fuck very many women. I always wait until I'm invited to "take my turn" when a red-eyed female in their late 30s/early 40s yells "next!", grabs me and works at stuffing herself with my dick. I'm sort of too big for most women and rarely get more than four or five inches in. It's best if I'm flaccid and can stuff more of me inside. Then, I can enjoy starting to swell up on the view of my tool surrounded by swollen, cum-covered flesh and sensation of other men's loads dripping out from inside a well amused vagina I have a better chance of probably getting myself off, too.
But I'm also happy to press my dick against a loaded deck and rub myself up and down making sure the clit gets as much attention as possible. The type of women I've fucked at lifestyle parties tend to like the sensation, too; especially if they've been taking on a line of guys while writhing in a ceiling harness. And, if you're my kind of man, you'll have no problem taking turns with me eating out a happy swollen nether place after yet another guy has left his load. Or,you'll let me clean off your dick and possibly suck you hard again so you can dip your wick a second or third time?
Sadly, the groups I'm invited to join in are older and older (just like me). It's not like i'm focused on a bubble headed 20-something. Far from it. I like women who are as nasty thinking as I am and even more motivated. Another good reason to live close to la Costa Brava.
Yes, I'm a sick bastard. And I'm a happy one, too.
But for now, I'm sticking with men. Sex is so much easier.