Effeminate gay men

[Kimahri]

Effeminate gay guys. Well, under normal circumstances, to each his own. There does come a point where they really need to stop. Kind of like the hypermasculine guys I run into. For the most part, no big deal. Eventually, it's like calm the fuck down.

The only thing I dislike about effeminate guys is that they are the stereotype that gets perpetuated about gay guys. I'm not like that and get really annoyed when someone says, "Oh, you're not like most gay guys"

 

[Industrialsize]

Effeminate gay guys. Well, under normal circumstances, to each his own. There does come a point where they really need to stop. Kind of like the hypermasculine guys I run into. For the most part, no big deal. Eventually, it's like calm the fuck down.

The only thing I dislike about effeminate guys is that they are the stereotype that gets perpetuated about gay guys. I'm not like that and get really annoyed when someone says, "Oh, you're not like most gay guys"

Yeah.at what point is that, and do YOU get to decide?

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

I agree with Indy...I have met a broad range of gay men. Some very masculine, others effiminate and a clump in the middle. In my experience, this range applies to straight men as well. I have overheard conversations where someone has stated to a straight guy...oh, I thought you might have been gay.

In my opinion, we are a diverse population and should not discriminate against someone based on their outward appearance or mannerisms. A very nice person might be inside that "nelly" persona. I admire individuals who are proud of who they are and don't get caught up in having to appear different than they really are in order to be accepted.

 

[B_Lightkeeper]

When I had my business, there was a rather "nelly" customer that bought music pretty often. He got his feelings hurt one day because a few other guys in the store started laughing at him. He left the store without buying anything. My question is should I have stepped in and said something to them?

BTW, moderator(s), can we turn stetree over? :smile:

 

[alphaape]

Effeminate men never bothered me.
However, LOUD effeminate men who
have the need for attention and makes
a scene - now that's annoying.

Having said that, I find straight men who
have to be LOUD in a croud and make a scene,etc
- that's just as annoying.

I think it's all about how you present yourself
in your surroundings. You make a scene just to stand out,
you're going to get snickers and eye rolls.

i agree.

 

[rimmer9]

Don't do it for me i'm afraid but maybe that's becaause i'm bi. When i want feminine i have my wife. when i want a man i want him to be all male.

 

[Smaccoms]

I don't think it really matters. I believe what is more important is to ask ourselves why we find it so "offensive" for a man to be "swishy" or "effeminate." I think a lot of gay men find it difficult to deal with effeminate gay guys because they think that str8 people think that ALL gay men are effeminate and therefore "not manly." What is really unfortunate about this way of thinking is it gives credence to the archaic notion that gender is biological. Gender and gender expression are not based in biology.

What do I mean by all this? The fact that you had issues with these supposed "effeminate" men in the restaurant "openly" acting flamboyantly says more about your insecurities about how people perceive you as a gay man. I don't mean to say this to you in a mean-spirited way, and I hope you do not take it as such. There are always going to be ignorant assholes who believe that all groups are one way or another; there's nothing you can do to stop that except to be yourself and prove them wrong.

As for the effeminate gay dudes, consider our world that much richer for having people in it who defy definition, labels, and boxes. Next time, send them a martini and tell them to keep the flame burning bright!

Cheers!

While I understand whee you're coming from with the "insecruties issue", there are other aspects to this arguement as well. Some "femmies" are not like that naturally (ie, thats not there actul pesonality), they just need to act like that for the need to stand out and be different (even though thats not them), which is totally unnecesary. I mean, yes be yourself, but shoving something in other peoples' face unnecessarily is annoying and immature. Now, I'm not saying all "femmies" are like that. Some gays are truly effeminate like that at heart, and don't try to push it in faces like some guys do. The one experience I have with this group, my freshman year in high school, I was at drama, and the most effeminate gay guy in school who was known for it was there, standing (very tall). A girl in the back asked if he could move over, she couldn't see. He just went (really high pitched complainy OMG voice) "But, I'm being SEXXXXXXXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-UH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and just stood there. That first incident wiht me caused me to not like it, and it just annoys me. ANother thing, I've always had a thing for football players (the complete opposite, so, I dunno, just wanted ot say something...

 

[yngjock20]

It really depends on who the person is...but by generalizations, I don't get along with overly effeminate gay men.

That being said, most of my male friends are effeminate, but they are different from your stereotyped "queer" guys.

It does take all types to color in this world we live in.

This totally gives me a jumping off point for a blog...thank you!

 

[Smaccoms]

It really depends on who the person is...but by generalizations, I don't get along with overly effeminate gay men.

That being said, most of my male friends are effeminate, but they are different from your stereotyped "queer" guys.

It does take all types to color in this world we live in.

This totally gives me a jumping off point for a blog...thank you!

You need to explain yourself better here. BY the way you said stuff, you sound ike your contradicting yourself, whether you are or not. You can't just say your male friends are effeminate, but "different" from the stereotyped kind. That doesn't tell us anything, or why you think it, whihc is part of the reason for this thread in the first place...not tryin to bash you, just enlightening you...

 

[SyddyKitty]

Some take it too far, and they bug me. Some simply don't fit with the way they're trying to act, which also bugs me.

Then again, some are kind of attractive when they aren't taking it too far (like the small guys that are a bit more hyper-active and speak a bit high without going overboard... my coworker D=).

 

[AttemptingZen]

I completely agree with the earlier poster that said I have no problems with anyone being more effeminate or masculine, or whatever. It's attention-junkies that bug the hell out of me. Some of my best friends are more effeminate, and have slept with more than a few. The difference is they are just more effeminate in gestures and speech and such.... they don't have a need to constantly call attention to themselves. Those kind of people I don't like to be around... masculine, feminine, whatever.

 

[Penetrator]

The fact that you had issues with these supposed "effeminate" men in the restaurant "openly" acting flamboyantly says more about your insecurities about how people perceive you as a gay man.

It is called annoying. Since they are "acting flamboyantly" they are trying to call attention to themselves and thus being obnoxious. It says nothing about the insecurities of the person that is annoyed.

If some one is annoyed by a loud and obnoxious redneck are they insecure about their homosexuality?

 

[Penetrator]

When I had my business, there was a rather "nelly" customer that bought music pretty often. He got his feelings hurt one day because a few other guys in the store started laughing at him. He left the store without buying anything. My question is should I have stepped in and said something to them?

BTW, moderator(s), can we turn stetree over? :smile:

Was your customer looking for both types of attention, both positve and negative attention? If he was indeed acting "nelly" then maybe he got the negative attention he wanted?

 

[B_CBTallthetime]

my fav dude that was very effeminate was a guy at my gym about 10 years ago. He was quite the stereotype - except in one way - he was absolutely huge. Talk about an example of juiced to the extreme! Had one of the most overdeveloped, hot bods I have ever seen - but to talk to him was like another very fem dude was inside him.

Was kinda hot!

 

[yngjock20]

You need to explain yourself better here. BY the way you said stuff, you sound ike your contradicting yourself, whether you are or not. You can't just say your male friends are effeminate, but "different" from the stereotyped kind. That doesn't tell us anything, or why you think it, whihc is part of the reason for this thread in the first place...not tryin to bash you, just enlightening you...

First of all... I don't "need" to do anything. Lol! I just like copping an attitude.

I don't think I contradicted myself. I started out by saying it depends on the person I'm dealing with. Case in point, my friends aren't shallow, rude or overly cocky like, stereotypically, effeminate gay men can be. If they were...I would most likely not have ever become friends with them.

So, I hope that clarified any confusion you may have had with my dislike of effeminate gay men. Enjoy your weekend.

 

[B_becominghorse]

Gay men run the gamut from the extremely effeminate to the hyper butch.....I love them all.......btw there are effeminate straight men as well....

good point, and I guess I am allergic to effeminate straight men. I'm mostly homo, though had plenty of women before I 'settled down' to my cock and other guys, but most of my friends are straight--all the women pretty traditionally feminine and all the husbands, etc., pretty butch. What is REAL turn-on is effeminate gay men with ENORMOUS PETERS!!! I learned some of the most important things I know from a 10-inch sissy, and I'm still in love with him, whether living or dead...I never ever jelq without the thought of him in my dick...and he always makes me get bigger and bigger, which is all I ever concentrate on, because all of my jacking and getting cock-sucked are based on jelqing and getting bigger and bigger... OHHHH yessssssssssssssssssss, baby....but effeminate straight men--oh man, it just doesn't play...

 

[willow78]

Reading through all the posts on this thread, it's becoming clear to me that there are two distinct types of 'femmies'. There are those who are naturally effeminate and then there are the screaming drama queens. And I'm starting to see it's not the natural fem types that annoy me but the screaming queens. As someone else previously said, they are are like irritating, pouty attention-seeking teenage girls. And they're the type of girls that annoy me. I hate teenage girls that like to think they are real women when really they act like pouty little girls - especially when they dress like Christina Ugly-era or Britney. I've never seen real women dressed like them. I've probably started another debate now - what makes a 'real' woman?

...I never ever jelq without the thought of him in my dick...

WTF is jelq?

 

[barina]

I like all types. The older I get the more I think it hot to have some effeminate guy naked, totally turned on to me, ready to serve. That's my fantasy anyway. Think its sweet. On the other hand I like masculine men just as much and everything inbetween.

i am an older effem and visiting NYC in Oct this year. Would be nice to meet you Mr. Buckstar

 

[B_becominghorse]

WTF is jelq?

Do a basic search, babe. It's all over this site.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

I know many effeminate straight men. So your theory of only gay men being this way isnt true. I have no problem with either. Its who we are and its all cool with me.