First time pegging/strap on... need advice (I'm the guy)

[manofatlanta]

My GF and I enjoy an imaginative sex life. After talking about it for a little while, we bought a strap on yesterday and she tried it out on me last night. We did everything by the book, lots of lube, lots of pre-insertion stimulation, small(ish) dildo, taking it slow etc., but my poor little sphincter had a rough time of it. She only got it in about 3 inches before it seemed like it wasn't going any further.

This was my first time doing anal, and I really enjoyed seeing my GF's reaction to putting it to me. I'd like to do it some more. I just can't figure out what I need to change to be able to receive more of that dildo. It's about 7 inches long, 1 inch wide and has an upward curve toward the tip.

Right now my bum is sore. I don't think anything was torn, but there was definitely discomfort. Can anyone offer some good advice?

 

[flame boy]

My advice would be to relax and take it easy. You did a sensible thing by stopping at the point where you felt comfortable - it will hurt or ache the first few times but as you build up an awareness for the feeling it will become easier. If it doesn't feel particularly nice, ease off it a bit and try again another time.

I found that being suitably turned on helped plenty - lots of foreplay beforehand really benefitted - When I felt like I really wanted it, it was a lot easier. Just going straight to trying to put in the dildo will likely not get you very far. There is always that temptation to just get it all in, but ultimately that'll spoil your experience and put you off.

Take it slow, have some fun with it and in time you will find little by little that it will become easier.

You can worry about taking this kinda thing on in a few years :tongue:

 

[HiddenLacey]

You can worry about taking this kinda thing on in a few years :tongue:

I just broke out in a cold sweat... :tongue:



To the OP, I've never had anal sex myself, but I have experimented with plugs and such. Maybe that would help you? You can buy a medium sized plug and maybe wear it for alittle while to get used to the feeling and help relax?

Sorry I couldn't be more help, I just felt like I should provide you with what little I know since you posted in Women's Issues, goodluck!

OH and PS: the strap-on sex sounds really hot!

 

[MercyfulFate]

Chances are you're tightening up when she's trying to go in. My ex got a pretty huge one halfway inside me, but it took a good long while.

 

[pain4anangel]

You can buy a medium sized plug and maybe wear it for alittle while to get used to the feeling and help relax?

This is what I was going to suggest too. You can buy anal training kits online. I have had my ex-sub use them to train and he did very well. I had him start off with maybe 15 min a day and work up to an hour a day. Only 1in wide? Hmmm. In my photos, the one I was using is very small at the tip but gets bigger at the base. I have other dildos I use for playing after he's warmed up (as in pics as well). Also, the position you are in can matter too if you are tense...I typically do it doggy, but guys have told me that when they do girls, it is best to have them lay on their back.
I suggest you are on your knees and you control it...you back into it and ease your way in.

 

[manofatlanta]

This is what I was going to suggest too. You can buy anal training kits online. I have had my ex-sub use them to train and he did very well. I had him start off with maybe 15 min a day and work up to an hour a day. Only 1in wide? Hmmm. In my photos, the one I was using is very small at the tip but gets bigger at the base. I have other dildos I use for playing after he's warmed up (as in pics as well). Also, the position you are in can matter too if you are tense...I typically do it doggy, but guys have told me that when they do girls, it is best to have them lay on their back.
I suggest you are on your knees and you control it...you back into it and ease your way in.

Thanks for the advice from all. I will give this suggestion a try for sure.

PS. "Why is it so hard to find a guy who wants a relationship who is also hot and bi?"
LOL, my GF has added that she'd like to watch me suck a guy's dick while she puts the strap on to me. I'm up for that! I enjoy watching her go into crazysexy mode. I'd like to suck a guy too, knowing she'd be getting hot watching. It's all good if everyone is having fun. Now If I can only find the right partner here in Atlanta (hint).:wink:

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Apart from what the others have said.............sit on a bag of peas to ease the sore butt!

 

[manofatlanta]

I'll assume you mean frozen peas. ;-)

 

[pain4anangel]

Oh yeah...besides the peas...there is also this stuff called Anal Ease lol. It numbs the area a bit. You can get all sorts of numbing gel. I have a spray too. Haven't used it on myself yet, but I'm guessing it should work lol.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm kind of against numbing agents for anal. The discomfort tells you when to stop. That's important information.

 

[B_subgirrl]

In addition to the advice you've been given so far, I would like to add that for me a lot of what makes anal possible is what's going on in my head. If I am comfortable with the idea of taking the toy or cock I'm playing with, I'm much more likely to be successful than if I'm scared of it. And relax, relax, relax. Relaxation leads to bigger successes and less pain.

 

[pain4anangel]

I'm kind of against numbing agents for anal. The discomfort tells you when to stop. That's important information.

Well, sometimes you need it just to even get a little bit in there. I have this problem where if a guy hits a certain spoit while trying to go in, it feels like having a butcher knife shoved up my ass while being kicked in the stomach with a steel-toed boot. My legs give out and I kinda start to black out a bit. Takes a bit for me to recover. Had a "whoops wrong hole" once and I fell right to the floor and couldn't get up for a few minutes. The thing is, I really love plugs and would love to train more to be able to do anal. Did it one time and it didn't hurt though. Don't know what was so different about it either. That's why I also recommend a drink or two (if you drink) to relax you a bit. Also, maybe if you bought some enemas, you would feel more confident and relaxed too. Not sure if that part was an issue either. And FYI...never...NEVER...NEEEVVVEEERRR use warming lube in your ass. First anal experience and it should've been my last. I'm not sure which hurt more...him or the inferno in my ass. I was sick for an hour from the pain. Anyway...remember to have fun!!!!! Hahaha :biggrin1:

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

I'll assume you mean frozen peas. ;-)

No,i was thinking of mushy peas straight from the saucepan:tongue:

 

[ian]

My wife has used a strap-on on me loads and it does take some getting used to. Relaxing definitely helps. Once it gets a little way in try just stopping there and relaxing while it's inside you before trying any further/thrusting. Lube is also key. I've found with some toys that putting a condom on it makes it stay slick for longer (and its easier to clean). Mostly I think its not a surprise if you ache after the first time. It's worth persevering and you'll quickly be able to take something bigger.

More importantly, Pain4anangel, where were you when I was single?

 

[pain4anangel]

More importantly, Pain4anangel, where were you when I was single?

In Ohio? Always been single relatively speaking. You should've come and found me.

 

[B_ILIW]

taking it anally without any prostate stimulation is a waste.

as well as training your arse how to take it, get your girlfriend to angle it on the prostate. that really is the key to male anal penetration.

 

[ian]

In Ohio? Always been single relatively speaking. You should've come and found me.

Damn it!

 

[manofatlanta]

Update.... all is well in Hotlanta.

Thanks, y'all!

 

[TomCat84]

Actually, I would suggest having your gf lie on her back, and for you to lower yourself onto it. This stretches your hole the least, and allows for maximum control of penetration. Sometimes when I'm trying to get fucked, initial entry is still pretty painful, so I get off the dick (or dildo), wait a few seconds, and then try again.

 

[269616]

Like others have said, just patience and practice. I love anal play, but some days for actual insertion it's very easy, other days it's not happening. It's so hot you have a gf into that, and willing to go easy with you. I'm sure you'll find the sweet spot as you play with it more!