Getting off on inflicting pain during sex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by aninnymouse, Mar 10, 2012.

  1. aninnymouse

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    3,063
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In My Own World
    How does that work?

    I'm not talking about rough, vigorous sex, where the boundary between pleasure and pain is blurred a bit, or things like slap and tickle; or even bondage; but where you enjoy the fact that you're hurting your partner.

    Give me all the angles.....


    I know there's a thread in the WI section about men inflicting pain on women, and someone started a troll/parody thread about women hurting men, but I'm more curious about it from all angles.

    Personally, I don't like pain, I don't like rough sex or bondage, and if it's too much, I'll say "OUCH! That's too much!" I'm even a bit sketchy about inflicting pain, even if the other person's into that kind of thing.....Though fingertips, and sometimes fingernails can be fun.....
     
  2. MelbourneGirl

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2011
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Down Under
    I'm not into hardcore pain (giving or receiving), but I do like very, very rough sex. Of course, this can sometimes be painful, but it's a good sort of sexual pain. Not into the whole candle wax, nipple clamp, piercing thing. I don't get the endorphin rush from pain that some people seem to get.
     
  3. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,541
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    TheBF likes to spank me. I asked him about his motivation and it was basically "cute bottom wiggling." He likes it giggly and fun and not at all serious. He doesn't spank me hard.

    Do you mean that you sometimes experience the pain or that you sometimes inflict the pain during rough sex? I think Aninnymouse was referring to intentionally inflicting pain on someone else and what the motivation was or the turn-on.
     
  4. Willifred

    Willifred New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London
    I'm not in to pain at all. Pain isn't nice, it's quite hurty.

    Sometimes I do want to be fucked quite hard though, but even then I'm not wishing it to bring pain (and I wouldn't like my partner getting off on it causing pain either).
     
  5. aninnymouse

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    3,063
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In My Own World

    Exactly.

    Nothing wrong with a little slap and tickle, a bit of roughish nipple play, something like that. Hell, even the whole "Let me choke you while I poke you" thing has it's place. It's deliberate, severe pain that I'm talking about. I'm curious about that type of thing, and why someone would want to do that to their partner; 'cause that sketches me out.
     
  6. MelbourneGirl

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2011
    Messages:
    145
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Down Under
    I sometime experience the pain. I have had partners who were into very into full-on pain situations (electric shocks to the testicles with a cattle prod, for example), but I found it hard to do. When I love someone, I really struggle with anything more than what I call 'slap and tickle' - hardcore pain is near impossible for me to give, even if my partner really wants it. There is zero turn-on for me.

    I too am interested in hearing from people who love inflicting pain. No judgement about it, just keen to hear what the mindset is.
     
    #6 MelbourneGirl, Mar 10, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2012
  7. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,852
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Victoria BC
    The pain releases endorphins it feels amazing and I also love feeling dominated by a man and feeling his power and aggression.
     
  8. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,541
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Cattleprod to the testicles! :eek:

    Yeah, it would be real difficult for me to do that. :redface:
     
  9. aninnymouse

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    3,063
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In My Own World
    And see, there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Actually quite hot to be on your back, His chin digging into your head, or his face pressed up hard against yours, feeling his hot breath on you, feeling his hands on you, squeezing....Teeth, nibbling, nuzzling....Hell Yeah!

    Ditto with pounding away, feeling fingernails in you, some love bites.....That is HOT.

    Electricity, donkey punches, biting to draw blood...no thanks.
     
  10. B_Craiggers

    B_Craiggers New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    786
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southeast, USA
    I don't care for pain at all, but I do enjoy pressure. So being on the receiving end of firm squeezing, choking, and the like is enjoyable, but having nails dug into me, being scratched, being spanked, etc are all no nos.
     
  11. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2010
    Messages:
    1,235
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Netherlands, Amsterdam
    My current fling seems to be looking for boundaries to what i can handle.

    I love biting, nibbling, soft slaps and using nails. Something primal about it and trusting someone else with something like pain makes the trust stronger.

    As for actual hurting, I think acting out a desire for revenge is their sole reason.
     
  12. D_22

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2011
    Messages:
    2,376
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC
    It feels fantastic. When I'm with a girl, having them bitch and dig their nails in just feels wonderful. I enjoy bondage and been burned by wax from my ex girlfriend. Painful but I wish we did it more. Once she even walked/stepped on my back with high heels. Smacking each other a few times.

    For me, really rough play is the best and turns me on the most. Thing is, it's very hard to find partners into the same thing.
     
  13. Mercurygirl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2012
    Messages:
    1,960
    Likes Received:
    164
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Island of Misfit Toys
    A little bondage, hair pulling, ass slapping is as far as I like it. My boyfriend is like me, he's not into the heavier action. He told me he likes the feeling of power he gets watching/hearing me squirm and verbally acknowledge that his cock is huge. If it hurts it's usually because he's gets carried away and is close to coming and sometimes goes too deep. I pay him back with by digging my nails into his inner thigh. Message received and he's back to giving me the good stuff.
     
  14. Countryguy63

    Countryguy63 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    14,231
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    67
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Monterey, Calif.
    Gosh, it almost hurts to read some of these posts :eek:.

    My last girlfriend wanted me to pull her hair while we were having sex. I did it, but I never felt comfortable doing it, and it even took some of the pleasure out of it for me :frown1:.

    I just don't like the idea of causing pain to anyone, and I've never felt that pain enhances sex at all.

    I don't knock those that do, it's just not for me :smile:
     
  15. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,911
    Likes Received:
    4
    i'm trying hard to figure this one out...

    my man is quite the most brutal fuck i've ever known. my rapists were considerably more gentle than he is. he grips hard, crushes my tits or my wrists or my throat. he holds me in uncomfortable positions and pounds so hard i can't breathe. and all the while he's talking to me softly, no hint of anger or bitterness, telling me how beautiful i am, how i am his, etc.

    whatever causes it, it's a very base desire. he rarely sets out to be rough but, it seems, he gets carried away. the first wince or gasp from me and i can feel his cock harden and his enthusiasm ramp up.

    it comes from somewhere deep. somewhere raw and animal.

    the flip side of the coin is how sweet and caring he is at any other time. it's really not because he's an arsehole. in fact i'm the first women he's been like this with, because i'm the first to say it was ok. in the past he has held back a lot. it's taken me by surprise just how extreme this thing is. it's leaving me a sobbing mess a lot of the time.

    i desperately want to understand where it all comes from and the standard assumptions just don't fit the picture. i'm supremely curious. he is beautiful to me, i love him in a way i have never loved before, and it makes my nosiness go into overdrive.
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,874
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I'm not sure there will ever be an answer to this that will be detailed enough that it will help those who aren't into it understand.

    Just like how I can't explain why I get off on receiving pain. Sure I can list all sorts of reasons why it works for me mentally, but when it comes down to it, it just makes me cum. Simple as that.

    I really am glad there ARE people who get off on inflicting pain. I wouldn't be much of a masochist without a sadist to feed off :tongue:.
     
  17. Mercurygirl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2012
    Messages:
    1,960
    Likes Received:
    164
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Island of Misfit Toys
    Don't get me wrong sometimes a nice touchy feely romantic roll between the sheets is quite enjoyable. Sometimes it's all I want or need. You connect more on a personal/love level. I do like that. But then there are times that I want him aggressive and a little rough. I want him to take me.

    Hair pulling turns me on when we doggy or when I'm going down on him. On occasion he'll even put his other hand around my neck. The feeling of submission and being controlled, letting go, to a lover is fantastic. It's never to a point of any significant pain, more about him dominating me that I find very hot.
     
  18. Countryguy63

    Countryguy63 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    14,231
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    67
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Monterey, Calif.
    I understand, I can get, and enjoy getting aggressive during sex. Aggressive to me, is throwing her down on the bed, holding her shoulders or arms down, thrusting and plowing my cock deep in her. Grabbing the back of her head while she sucking me and face fucking is a huge turn on.

    It's the "Oww" factor that actually turns me off.
     
  19. RawDog

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,434
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Grinding the backstop (in Colorado)
    The only time I enjoy inflicting pain is when both of us are going hard and deep and our naughty bits get sore and raw. Pure sex organ in sex organ mutual fucking pain. When I know and feel that what felt good and hurts so bad on me has a counterpart in her that felt so good and hurts so bad as well.

    Like last night's bruise on my cockhead and her equally tender deepspot.
     
  20. MickeyLee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2008
    Messages:
    11,153
    Likes Received:
    159
    Location:
    neverhood
    if ya told him to stop, threw down the safeword... what do ya think he'd do, Ms. Dolfette?