Homoeroticism among straight men

patro78

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I had always thought that homoerotic meant something as simple as "sexualized, but not necessarily sexual, male behavior" such as the instance of wrestling. The concept of becoming aroused by watching other have sex is more accurately "voyeurism."


I should have thought that voyeurism describes a mode of becoming aroused, not the nature of the arousal itself: a voyeur may be aroused by witnessing homosexual, heterosexual or homoerotic activity, and thereby be enjoying respectively a homosexual, heterosexual or homoerotic arousal.

The point was not to equate homoeroticism with voyeurism, but to provide for discussion an instance of a sexual activity which happens to involve a kind of voyeurism so as to analyse its nature.
 

patro78

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I don't believe that homoeroticism is redundant. My point is this:
Some straight men are sexy to me but not necessarily homoerotic.

Homoeroticism does have an underlying current of homosexual appeal. The voyeur is homosexually identified. The ones objectified are men that appeals to the voyeur either by their look, their actions, their inactions and wherever else that inspires stimuli to the voyeur.

Because a straight man is fucking another man's wife doesn't make it homoerotic. Fucking in gangbangs where a woman is being done by a lot of men one at a time is not homoerotic. Now, if it were a gay orgy and a few bisexual men bringing two ladies with them and a heterosexual couple--that could be homoerotic.

I see, thanks for the clarification. I think we are arguing or discussing at cross-purposes. I have interpreted Ganymede's question as asking: are there homoerotic aspects to the sexual activity in which straight men engage together? Whereas you seem to be asking: do the sexual activities of straight men arouse homoerotic feelings in homosexual men.
 

dudepiston

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Yes I certainly didn't mean to imply that humans can't have intentions, subjective or not but I think you saw my point that we sometimes have subconcious intentions and I think sexuality is a prime example of where this might come into play. In other words, no 100% straight man is going to admit to having erotic thoughts, behaviors or orientations towards other males but that does not preclude the idea that those inclinations (or intentions) might exist on a subconcious level whether or not he's actually participating in erotic activity at the time.
 

invisibleman

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Yes I certainly didn't mean to imply that humans can't have intentions, subjective or not but I think you saw my point that we sometimes have subconcious intentions and I think sexuality is a prime example of where this might come into play. In other words, no 100% straight man is going to admit to having erotic thoughts, behaviors or orientations towards other males but that does not preclude the idea that those inclinations (or intentions) might exist on a subconcious level whether or not he's actually participating in erotic activity at the time.

I think that authentically straight men, who truly adore straight women, aren't apt to admire men sexually. That is the given. I think that some straight men may perceive that all men are straight and that could pose a dillemma as well. Now, a man who has been sheltered from knowledge of his sexuality and he perceives himself straight but really is gay, therein lies a dilemma. There could be some homoeroticism in his life. Or a few male Mormons on a two-year mission. There could be a lot of homoeroticism in their lives...especially when they aren't allowed to masturbate...or have sex until they are traditionally married heterosexually to their fiancees.)
 

chico8

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I think that authentically straight men, who truly adore straight women, aren't apt to admire men sexually. That is the given. I think that some straight men may perceive that all men are straight and that could pose a dillemma as well. Now, a man who has been sheltered from knowledge of his sexuality and he perceives himself straight but really is gay, therein lies a dilemma. There could be some homoeroticism in his life. Or a few male Mormons on a two-year mission. There could be a lot of homoeroticism in their lives...especially when they aren't allowed to masturbate...or have sex until they are traditionally married heterosexually to their fiancees.)

I think you're wrong.

Homoerotic feelings aren't necessarily a constant feature of a straight guy's sexual makeup. I'll bet there are very few straight guys out there who haven't experienced a frisson of sexual interest in another guy at one point or another.

You're trying to say that homoeroticism is induced by circumstances like mormon missionaries or being a sailor on a ship. That's something entirely different and more akin to a need for sex, not true homoeroticism.

You're confusing homoeroticism with sexuality, a big mistake.
 
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Ganymede

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Um ... WOW. :eek:

I was going to say that it is amazing that you were able to draw all of this from Miller from what I mentioned in this thread. I assumed you must have a real education in psychology. But now I see you must've read about Miller a bit.

Here's a quote from the biography I'm reading about Miller. The name of the book is "Happiest Man Alive" by Mary V. Deerborn.


"Henry idolized any man involved in an activity from which women were excluded. Unfortunately, most of these activities were either illegal or required special talents beyond the reach of the young boy. Henry admired wrestlers and boxers (known as "pugs"), gamblers, con men, and gangsters. Cops would have made the list, but they were actual every day authority figures and thus ineligible. All his life he would search out institutions that were exclusively male; he was fascinated by prisons, for example, and the sheer accident that all-male occupations were often criminal ones led him to associate being a man with rebellion, with doing something wrong, or, in his younger years, with being a bad boy."



But more to the point of the homoeroticism and the being caught in his childhood, here is a very interesting couple of paragraphs. This is a paragraph about Henry Miller and his two young male friends, Tony and Joey Imhof:


"Only toward the end of his life Miller revealed, very casually, that he and Joey 'had acquired the habit of buggering one another.' They thought nothing of it, but Tony believed they were committing a grievous sin (the Imhofs were Catholic) and threatened to tell the priest. He went on to note that sometiems the two boys tried to bugger Tony, but that 'it was useless -- he was incorruptible.

Henry's friendship with Joey and Tony lasted for five years, until he was around twelve. While he wrote about the rest of his childhood repeatedly and obsessively, he mentioned this sexual relationship only once. (He would, however, name his son Tony and rename all his best friends Joey.)"


Here's the passage that refers to the gangbang. It refers to Henry Miller's erotic dream he had while still a teenager:​


"He used to dream that his friend George Wright led him to Cora's house, and he wondered why George, whom he saw as his double, had to appear in these dreams. He simply could not perform -- however symbolically -- without another man present. This would later be borne out by his distinct fondness for the gangbang over any other form of intercourse. Miller always preferred to have male onlookers when he had sex with a woman, or, failing that, to find some buddies he could regale with the story afterwards. The homoerotic, voyeuristic nature of these episodes escaped him; on the contrary, he would come to consider his behavior the very essence of virility."


About discarding Henry Miller for DH Lawrence, I'm not really much of a fan of Henry Miller's, actually. Never finished one of his books, come to think of it. I am simply reading a biography of him and I found this interesting and realized that these passages are the perfect description of the type of heterosexual homoeroticism I was talking about in this thread.​

Anyway, it's interesting that you'd say Henry Miller was trapped in his childhood. This will probably irritate some readers here, but I'm sure you're aware that there are some (not all) psychologist who say that this is true of homosexual men as well. Some psychologists have said that gay men are emotionally/psychologically stuck in that era of their childhood where boys don't want to be around girls. I'm not saying I agree or disagree with this statement. I'm just saying that this is what some psychologists have said about gay men, so it's interesting that you would say this about Henry Miller. And, by the way, one of Anais Nin's psychologists (Otto Rank, I think) said that Henry Miller was an unconscious homosexual.​

About DH Lawrence, though he wrote mostly about heterosexuality, his book "Women in Love" is about a relationship between two men who could arguably be bisexual. Women in Love - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


With respect to Henry Miller's erotic habits: these do seem to me less indicative of chauvanism or egoism (though those attributes are there) than symptomatic of an adolescent inhibition towards or even recoil from the feminine. His erotic identity is stunted and seeks refuge in the world of the adolescent boy. He has failed to develop a mature relation to and recognition of the woman as a fully sexual being (something which his hero DH Lawrence constantly struggled towards). If you're interested in this process as explored by literary art, I would recommend you discard your Miller and turn to Lawrence, in comparison to whom Miller is exposed as something of a vulgar and misleading charlatan, whose writings are full of special-pleading and manufactured convictions.
 
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Ganymede

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I'll speak for myself. I find it highly erotic to watch another man have sex with a woman. It gets me horny, gives me a boner, and makes me want to have sex with a woman. However, usually I am focused completely on the man's experience as opposed to the woman's experience. To be completely blunt, when watching porn I don't give a shit how it feels for the woman, if she's enjoying it or not. I am focused completely on the man himself and am imagining how it must feel for him. Seeing a man have sex with a woman is very arousing for me and it makes me want to have sex with a woman while a man watches. Is this not homoerotic? (I'm seriously asking. I don't know for sure. This is a literal question.)

I have a porn video where a guy and his friend find a girl to have sex with with. The guy is filming his friend have sex with the girl. The girl is giving the guy a blow-job. The guy pulls his dick out a bit and says to his friend who is filming, "This is great. This feels great!" The friend, who is filming then says, "Yeah, cool, man...." He puts his dick back in the woman's mouth, and they continue to have sex.

Okay. Again. I just got a boner writing this out. I find this kind of stuff highly erotic. It's a very strange thing because on one hand the sex is entirely heterosexual, and yet the two men are more focused on one another than on the woman. So, it seems to be technically heterosexual but in some ways homoerotic.

I think I have to go beat off now. I'm light-headed. LOL. :biggrin1:

Well, it is still unclear though. I do not know whether the husband is turned on by his wife being fucked by another male. That is heterosexual arousal.Or, if the husband is turned on by the man himself even though, the man is fucking the wife. Then, that could be homoerotic.


I don't consider Henry Miller's gangbang a homoerotic act. No other male had sex with Miller. If it were an orgy where there were more homosexual
activity going on. Then, yeah, that could be homoerotic.
 
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Ganymede

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I have to agree. This sounds like a relatively weak argument. We could probably start with the very concept of being "authentically straight." Who is to say who is "authentically straight" and who isn't?

And if you've ever seen any straight porn or listened to any male stand-up comedians, you'll learn real quick that very few straight men "adore" women. I think that it is actually gay men who adore women. It is gay men, not straight men, who are more into the diva worship, dressing up as women, etc.

Speaking for myself, I suppose I have never had a very good understanding of the word "homoerotic." I thought the word referred to straight men who had a vague awareness of the erotic nature of fellow straight men -- but I thought the erotic awareness was of the sexual pleasure the fellow straight man receives from sexual relations with a woman. I hadn't realized that gay men consider the term "homoerotic" to mean "pertaining to sex or desire between two men."

Speaking for myself, I don't desire sex with another man. But boy do I desire to hear from other men how it was to have sex with a woman!

I think that authentically straight men, who truly adore straight women, aren't apt to admire men sexually. That is the given. I think that some straight men may perceive that all men are straight and that could pose a dillemma as well. Now, a man who has been sheltered from knowledge of his sexuality and he perceives himself straight but really is gay, therein lies a dilemma. There could be some homoeroticism in his life. Or a few male Mormons on a two-year mission. There could be a lot of homoeroticism in their lives...especially when they aren't allowed to masturbate...or have sex until they are traditionally married heterosexually to their fiancees.)
 
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Ganymede

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I'll try to be more succinct:

The type of "homoeroticism" I'm talking about is when a heterosexual man is sexually aroused by viewing or learning about the heterosexual activity of another heterosexual man.

An example from my life: I remember hearing two friends talk about a scenario where one guy was visiting another guy's house. The guy who was visiting called a girl to come over. The two went into the room and started to have sex. I remember hearing these two guys talk about this situation. I distinctly remember one guy saying to another, "Once you guys went in the room, I knew it wouldn't be long before I heard your balls slapping against her ass." I remember seeing that the two guys really loved talking about this situation. They both seemed to be turned on by it. And I was really turned on to hear this story. In fact, I think about this sometimes when I beat off. I just think this sharing of sexual experience between these two guys is beautiful, highly erotic and also highly arousing.

I see, thanks for the clarification. I think we are arguing or discussing at cross-purposes. I have interpreted Ganymede's question as asking: are there homoerotic aspects to the sexual activity in which straight men engage together? Whereas you seem to be asking: do the sexual activities of straight men arouse homoerotic feelings in homosexual men.
 

invisibleman

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I think you're wrong.

Homoerotic feelings aren't necessarily a constant feature of a straight guy's sexual makeup. I'll bet there are very few straight guys out there who haven't experienced a frisson of sexual interest in another guy at one point or another.

You're trying to say that homoeroticism is induced by circumstances like mormon missionaries or being a sailor on a ship. That's something entirely different and more akin to a need for sex, not true homoeroticism.

You're confusing homoeroticism with sexuality, a big mistake.

Eroticism, whether hetero, bisexual, or homo, has its links in sexuality regardless. It is a part of whatever flips those "horny" swiches on.

I agree with you what you said: "Homoerotic feelings aren't necessarily a constant feature of a straight guy's sexual makeup". I wasn't trying to say that circumstances of being a Mormon missionary or being a sailor on a ship were the only means of an homoerotic experience. (Though these scenarios and or characters could be homoerotic--Movies wouldn't be made like "Latter Days" and "Querelle".) These situations and characters aren't limited to these.

Homoeroticism can inspire an impetus for sexual longing, love, lust or actual sexual activity/fantasy.
 

chico8

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Eroticism, whether hetero, bisexual, or homo, has its links in sexuality regardless. It is a part of whatever flips those "horny" swiches on.

I agree with you what you said: "Homoerotic feelings aren't necessarily a constant feature of a straight guy's sexual makeup". I wasn't trying to say that circumstances of being a Mormon missionary or being a sailor on a ship were the only means of an homoerotic experience. (Though these scenarios and or characters could be homoerotic--Movies wouldn't be made like "Latter Days" and "Querelle".) These situations and characters aren't limited to these.

Homoeroticism can inspire an impetus for sexual longing, love, lust or actual sexual activity/fantasy.

Yes, it does have it's roots in sexuality, but it's not about sex.

I think our ancestors alive in the Victorian years would understand homoeroticism much better than we do today. We've been bombarded by sex in every possible form that anytime we see Marky Mark in undies, we're told that it's homoerotic. Far from it, it's an advertisement that is attempting to be homoerotic in order to sell underwear.

Homoeroticism is inherently innocent and casual, if it weren't it would be erotica. It's not something that can be created or posed for.
 

invisibleman

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I'll speak for myself. I find it highly erotic to watch another man have sex with a woman. It gets me horny, gives me a boner, and makes me want to have sex with a woman. However, usually I am focused completely on the man's experience as opposed to the woman's experience. To be completely blunt, when watching porn I don't give a shit how it feels for the woman, if she's enjoying it or not. I am focused completely on the man himself and am imagining how it must feel for him. Seeing a man have sex with a woman is very arousing for me and it makes me want to have sex with a woman while a man watches. Is this not homoerotic? (I'm seriously asking. I don't know for sure. This is a literal question.)
I don't think your focus on the man having sex with a woman is homoerotic. You may find it erotic, period. Watching a man having sex with a woman is voyeuristic. It is erotic. Homoeroticism doesn't inspire straight guys to have sex with women. Maybe your focus on the man has competitive aspects to that. Homoeroticism would lend more toward wanting to do the guy in every position in the Kamasutra Vatsayana. Hehehe.
I have a porn video where a guy and his friend find a girl to have sex with with. The guy is filming his friend have sex with the girl. The girl is giving the guy a blow-job. The guy pulls his dick out a bit and says to his friend who is filming, "This is great. This feels great!" The friend, who is filming then says, "Yeah, cool, man...." He puts his dick back in the woman's mouth, and they continue to have sex.

Okay. Again. I just got a boner writing this out. I find this kind of stuff highly erotic. It's a very strange thing because on one hand the sex is entirely heterosexual, and yet the two men are more focused on one another than on the woman. So, it seems to be technically heterosexual but in some ways homoerotic.

I have seen a video on X-Tube in which Nacho Vidal and Manuel Ferrera fucked this girl. I don't find their fucking the girl homoerotic because they are both fucking the girl in various ways: Bookending-one plugging the girl's mouth and the other the girl's pussy. Fuck sharing the girl. Yeah, these guys have a competitive streak amongst themselves with the girl in trying to make the girl come the most...and the hardest. Even though, I find them sexy (I am quite partial towards Nacho Vidal (he's sooo fucking hot and adorable!!!)--I don't find the situation or the guys homoerotic.

I think I have to go beat off now. I'm light-headed. LOL. :biggrin1:

Whatever flips your horny switches on. :smile:
 

chico8

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]Okay. Elaborate some concrete examples of homoeroticism. What is homoeroticism to you?

Two guys on a beach playing volleyball, they fall and are tangled up, one's arm draped over the other's stomach.

They're obviously not going to have sex, it's the casualness of the situation that makes it homoerotic. The gentle caress, the sweaty, physical closeness.


Two guys in a library, leaning over the same book, the napes of their necks exposed, their noses almost touching, slightly vulnerable and so into what they're reading or talking about that normal boundaries of physical closeness are thrown to the wind.


Homoeroticism is subtle, casual and accidental. It's not in your face, it doesn't even have to involve nude or partly clothed men.

I would argue that if a woman is involved in the photo then it can't be homoerotic. The whole point of homoeroticism is the absence of women. Men being able to be themselves without playing up to a woman in their presence.

Erotiticism is overtly sexual, it's designed to give you a hard on, homoeroticism is about yearning or longing for what will most likely never be. And, most importantly, it's about straight guys.

Once again, much of what we're told is homoerotic, is merely posed and packaged to sell products. I suppose if a good photographer were taking photos for an ad campaign, it's possible that he could create a photo that was truly homoerotic if the two guys involved were comfortable enough to be themselves. But in the end, it's that chance encount of two males being themselves.
 

invisibleman

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Two guys on a beach playing volleyball, they fall and are tangled up, one's arm draped over the other's stomach.


Okay. Based on the examples you have given me. If what you say is true, these should be homoerotic. I will add a few concrete details.

"President George W. Bush and Strom Thurmond are on a beach playing volleyball, they fall and are tangled up. George has his arm draped over Strom's stomach."

"Jerry Seinfeld and Michael Richards are on a beach playing volleyball, they fall and are tangled up. Jerry has his arm draped over Michael's stomach."

"John Amos and Jimmy Walker are on a beach playing volleyball, they fall and are tangled up. John has his arm draped over Jimmy's stomach."

They're obviously not going to have sex, it's the casualness of the situation that makes it homoerotic.

The gentle caress, the sweaty, physical closeness.

Okay.


Two guys in a library, leaning over the same book, the napes of their necks exposed, their noses almost touching, slightly vulnerable and so into what they're reading or talking about that normal boundaries of physical closeness are thrown to the wind.

Another concrete example of homoeroticism: Wilford Brimley and Ernest Borghnine are in a library, leaning over "The Joy of Cooking", the napes of their necks exposed, their noses almost touching, slightly vulnerable and so into what they're reading or talking about that normal boundaries of physical closeness are thrown to the wind.


Homoeroticism is subtle, casual and accidental. It's not in your face, it doesn't even have to involve nude or partly clothed men.

Maybe.



I would argue that if a woman is involved in the photo then it can't be homoerotic. The whole point of homoeroticism is the absence of women.

I agree. Wait a minute. Lesbians. There could be lesbian homoeroticism. Where women are the voyeurs and other women are erotically objectified.

Men being able to be themselves without playing up to a woman in their presence.

Erotiticism is overtly sexual, it's designed to give you a hard on,

If eroticism is designed to give you a boner...And homoeroticism...

homoeroticism is about yearning or longing for what will most likely never be.

That aforementioned statement is an error. Shouldn't homoeroticism do the same--give you a boner? It has eroticism in there. :smile:

And, most importantly, it's about straight guys.

I disagree with you on the importance of straight guys involved. That isn't an necessity for me. I want to reiterate this. I like Henry Rollins. I like Michael C. Hall. I like Matt Damon. I like Nacho Vidal. I like Manuel Ferrera. All are fine looking straight guys. I think that they're sexy. I don't find them homoerotic.
You can put them in an homoerotic situation. Like put them in some Thierry Mugler swimsuits, AussieBum, and Speedos. Put them all in a glycerin bubblebath. Have them all being washed by Hugh Jackman. This could be homoerotic. This won't even lead to them having sex...maybe but who am I to say it won't. Or if it led to voyeurs having sex...:wink:
 
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Ganymede

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Well, maybe I've been using the wrong label for quite a while. I thought that "homoerotic" meant straight men unintentionally/accidentally doing erotic things that turned each other on and hinted at a subconscious homosexual desire. I suppose I agree with the definition given above.

It was only recently that I realized that for many gay men "homoerotic" means "homosexual desire and/or behavior."

I literally thought that "homoerotic" meant "one straight man gets turned on by watching another straight man have sex with a woman."

Maybe the term I'm looking for is just "voyeuristic," as you suggested.

I think this may all go back to a topic that's been discussed at great length on this forum: the straight male paranoia that so much as seeing the penis of another man may turn one gay. The very fact that I enjoy seeing a penis go into a woman's mouth or vagina has made me think that I must be homoerotic on some level. The very fact that I enjoy seeing penises in action, albeit in action with women, has made me think I must be a little "gay."

I don't think your focus on the man having sex with a woman is homoerotic. You may find it erotic, period. Watching a man having sex with a woman is voyeuristic. It is erotic. Homoeroticism doesn't inspire straight guys to have sex with women. Maybe your focus on the man has competitive aspects to that. Homoeroticism would lend more toward wanting to do the guy in every position in the Kamasutra Vatsayana. Hehehe.
 

invisibleman

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Well, maybe I've been using the wrong label for quite a while.

I thought that "homoerotic" meant straight men unintentionally/accidentally doing erotic things that turned each other on and hinted at a subconscious homosexual desire. I suppose I agree with the definition given above.

It was only recently that I realized that for many gay men "homoerotic" means "homosexual desire and/or behavior."

I literally thought that "homoerotic" meant "one straight man gets turned on by watching another straight man have sex with a woman."

No problem, Ganymede. I get confused on certain things as well in the lexicon of things. Like the word "trifling". I used it in the wrong way as well. Due to having heard a lot of my fellow peeps of color use it wrong.

Maybe the term I'm looking for is just "voyeuristic," as you suggested.

I think this may all go back to a topic that's been discussed at great length on this forum: the straight male paranoia that so much as seeing the penis of another man may turn one gay.

This is the reason why I feel that gay men should REALLY question and reconsider their attractions to straight guys in real life. In fantasy, I have attractions to sexy straight guys but I DO know that they love women and their fleurs de lys. Hehehe. I don't put them on a pedestal either. Well, maybe a fantastical pedestal. The very fact that I enjoy seeing a penis go into a woman's mouth or vagina has made me think that I must be homoerotic on some level.

A penis in a vagina is never an homoerotic act. Maybe an erotic one. Maybe it is an heterocentric erotic act. A big thick hard penis rubbing on Tom Selleck chest hair is an homoerotic act by the fact that such a prodigiously warm scepter of fuck slithering across forestal thickets of Selleckdom is hot indeed.

The very fact that I enjoy seeing penises in action, albeit in action with women, has made me think I must be a little "gay."

Maybe, if you really think about wanting a penis in your mouth and/or butt: sometimes, a majority of the time or all the time. It depends on your urge. [/quote]
 
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Ganymede

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God no. I never think of having a penis in my mouth, or anywhere else. And, to be honest, gay porn is the furthest thing from a turnon for me.

To be fair (albeit to myself), it was the author of the biography on Henry Miller who said that gangbangs and swapping of (heterosexual) sex stories between men was "homoerotic." So, if I have been misusing the term, it's partly because of the influence of this biographer.

However, on the other hand, I think that homoeroticism can exist where there is no sexual act going on. I once heard an article that said that "the homoeroticism of the locker room causes the homophobia of the locker room." I really agreed with this article because I have experienced the homoeroticism that exists in many locker rooms. Mind you, I have never seen any homosexual acts in any men's locker rooms. I have never participated in any homosexual acts in locker rooms. But sometimes while in locker rooms I have felt that the homoerotic energy was so palpable it was almost knocking me over. I suppose my point here is that "homoeroticism" isn't always dependent on a sexual act. Therefore, I still think that in some way there is something homoerotic about men who share the intimate details of their sex lives with one another, even when those sex lives are strictly heterosexual.
 

invisibleman

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God no. I never think of having a penis in my mouth, or anywhere else. And, to be honest, gay porn is the furthest thing from a turnon for me.

To be fair (albeit to myself), it was the author of the biography on Henry Miller who said that gangbangs and swapping of (heterosexual) sex stories between men was "homoerotic." So, if I have been misusing the term, it's partly because of the influence of this biographer.

However, on the other hand, I think that homoeroticism can exist where there is no sexual act going on. I once heard an article that said that "the homoeroticism of the locker room causes the homophobia of the locker room." I really agreed with this article because I have experienced the homoeroticism that exists in many locker rooms. Mind you, I have never seen any homosexual acts in any men's locker rooms. I have never participated in any homosexual acts in locker rooms. But sometimes while in locker rooms I have felt that the homoerotic energy was so palpable it was almost knocking me over. I suppose my point here is that "homoeroticism" isn't always dependent on a sexual act. Therefore, I still think that in some way there is something homoerotic about men who share the intimate details of their sex lives with one another, even when those sex lives are strictly heterosexual.


I have found several definitions on Dictionary.com .

homoeroticism
nouna sexual attraction to (or sexual relations with) persons of the same sex [syn: homosexuality]


WordNet® 2.1, © 2005 Princeton University

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source
ho·mo·e·rot·i·cism
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/ˌhoʊ
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moʊ
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ɪˈrɒt
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əˌsɪz
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əm/
Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hoh-moh-i-rot-uh-siz-uh
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m]
Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun a tendency to be sexually aroused by a member of the same sex.
Also, ho·mo·er·o·tism
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/ˌhoʊ
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moʊˈɛr
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əˌtɪz
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əm/
Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hoh-moh-er-uh-tiz-uh
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m]
Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation.


[Origin: 1915–20; homo- + eroticism
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—Related forms ho·mo·e·rot·ic
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/ˌhoʊ
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moʊ
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ɪˈrɒt
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ɪk/
Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hoh-moh-i-rot-ik] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation, adjective



Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

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Well, based on what you have said...your experiences weren't homoerotic if you weren't wanting to do it with them. Those experiences were just plain erotic to you not homoerotic .

Yeah, you can have a lot of erotic situations happen and because they happen between two men aren't necessarily homoerotic because it happened and two men were involved. (Yeah, I know redundant. Yet, trying to make the point.)