1.). I much prefer vaginal to anal sex, and really the only times I have done anal was when women suggested it and actively took the initiative.
2.) My coming has never been dependent on a woman being "tight". It's usually a combination of things that brings my orgasm on, from adequate foreplay, to smells and sounds, to the delight and pleasure that I sense, see, and feel in my partner. If she's getting it, I can't help but get it, and I always try and hold back until after she's had her first one from my cock. That doesn't count the ones I giver her with my mouth and/or hand before intromission. I also love the sounds of fucking--I never play music during sex because fuck-slurp is such a turn-on for me.
3.) My fallback is to concentrate on the feelings in my foreskin and frenulum, sometimes the head. The absolute delicious fucking feelings in my foreskin will get me over the top even if I'm really tired or stressed/distracted. If I go for my second or third inside her, I concentrate on my own cock pleasure.