How much do you believe in Gaydar? I don't. Try to change my mind.

[bigboaster]

And you're just as entitled to your opinion as anyone. I believe in gaydar. It may not be right all of the time but there have been many times I thought and felt I could see it and was absolutely right. Some things are definitely perceived and even fantasized incorrectly, but one thing I've learned (and again not correct every time) is if you think you pick up on a true gay trait, 9 times out of 10 you're probably right. For me, that's just the way it has been.

Good day to you.

Appreciate the reply. Naturally our opinions are formed from real life experiences and I can't dispute anything you experienced.

The most I will say is that I don't think gaydar can exist if it isn't more consistent (generally). Something so shaky just feels like confirmation bias to me.

I've seen claims in this thread of specific users claiming they are particularly perceptive ("good gaydar"), I can't exactly disprove that but I don't believe this ability exists at a community level frankly.

 

[dana2]

Firstly I want to apologise for any perceived hostility on my part. I may have come off that way and that wasn't my intention. I don't want my admittedly staunch skepticism to be taken as vitriol against any user personally.

With that said. Thank for you clarifying what I got wrong. I understand your main point a bit better now.


Just like before I'm just gonna pose some questions to express to my disagreement.

Are you suggesting you can just straight up identify anyone as being gay/straight even if the person identifies the opposite way?

Have you ever been wrong with this?

If yes, how doesn't that disprove this "theory"?

Are you suggesting a sizeable portion of people can do this to the degree you can?


How are you certain this person isn't just some flavor or sexually fluid?

Further to the point? How is this concept of gaydar you have accounting for bisexual and pansexual people?

I don't think you're psychic or psycho but perhaps some type of hyper-empath who can pick up on subtle cues the average person can't?

If I grant this. I guess I'm still don't feel comfortable conceding that "gaydar" as the colloquial concept we know is "real" but I will concede some unique individuals perhaps are just more perceptive than others.

It's all good. I think we agree more than disagree. I can't recall offhand being wrong but I probably have been. With bi men I always feel their energy is closer to straight men so I am not sure vis-a-vi gaydar. There actually is more research on this topic than I thought but it is all pretty inconclusive so who knows for sure.

 

[Wildman2015]

I think my gaydar used to be more accurate back in the 90s and 00s. I feel like more guys are embracing a more fluid approach to their sexuality these days, so it's getting hard to tell. I meet way more guys who are bi or pan now. Still, for the guys who identify as gay, I think I'm pretty good at picking up on it most of the time.

 

[BamaMike]

I am very perceptive when it comes to identifying guys that have a reasonable probability of being gay, and it has proven out many times. My very extreme gay friends are not nearly as good at it and always look at me when we meet a guy and asking me what I think. I think guys with "gaydar" are perceptive and analytical, especially in this area of another guys personality and traits, which can at a good percentage recognize someone with the potential to be gay. I sure can't explain it other than that.

 

[wayless]

Guys seem to recognize that I might accommodate them with a blowjob. Not quite the same as Gaydar. More like submissive-dar.

 

[Brodie888]

From my own personal experience, the eyes don't lie. If they are bi/gay, they look at you that little bit longer, often turning their head to follow you. Some give you that up and down look like they are doing an xray vision check list on whether they like your body, your face and your bulge.
Straight/bi guys do it to women as well.

Of course there are the stereotypes. They are stereotypical for a reason. While you wouldn't hang your hat on one thing or another, it all adds together to increase the probability of a positive identification.

 

[bigboaster]

From my own personal experience, the eyes don't lie. If they are bi/gay, they look at you that little bit longer, often turning their head to follow you. Some give you that up and down look like they are doing an xray vision check list on whether they like your body, your face and your bulge.
Straight/bi guys do it to women as well.

I do this all the time, it's pretty much a common tactic by especially closeted men seeking other closeted guys. I don't think is gaydar though. You yourself just suggested that str8 men engage in this practice with women too. It's simple human instincts, not special to gay men/women.

Of course there are the stereotypes. They are stereotypical for a reason. While you wouldn't hang your hat on one thing or another, it all adds together to increase the probability of a positive identification.

Again, I don't disagree here with making basic or initial conclusions based on stereotypes, all humans do this and I don't even think that's necessarily bad at all. As long as you don't use stereotypes as gospel.

I don't think this is "gaydar" either in the same way making conclusions about someone being straight isn't "straightdar". My issue is mainly one of semantics (but not exclusively) I don't expect many to agree.
The word is just silly, overused and pointless additionally when the word "stereotype" already exists.

 

[bigboaster]

I think my gaydar used to be more accurate back in the 90s and 00s. I feel like more guys are embracing a more fluid approach to their sexuality these days, so it's getting hard to tell. I meet way more guys who are bi or pan now. Still, for the guys who identify as gay, I think I'm pretty good at picking up on it most of the time.

I kind of think this helps illustrate my point actually. Yes the term "gaydar" was probably more useful once upon a time. When there were clearer gulfs between expressions of 'gayness' and 'straightness', very clear visual differenecs.

The line is blurring more in some ways in recent times in terms of the way straight men express themselves and thus makes the "gaydar" less effective. Seems like it was always just mostly stereotypes to me

 

[Brodie888]

I do this all the time, it's pretty much a common tactic by especially closeted men seeking other closeted guys. I don't think is gaydar though. You yourself just suggested that str8 men engage in this practice with women too. It's simple human instincts, not special to gay men/women.

Again, I don't disagree here with making basic or initial conclusions based on stereotypes, all humans do this and I don't even think that's necessarily bad at all. As long as you don't use stereotypes as gospel.

I don't think this is "gaydar" either in the same way making conclusions about someone being straight isn't "straightdar". My issue is mainly one of semantics (but not exclusively) I don't expect many to agree.
The word is just silly, overused and pointless additionally when the word "stereotype" already exists.

I would have to disagree with you.

Just because there is straightdar doesn't mean there isn't gaydar. In fact, being able to rule out men for being straight adds to the effectiveness of watching what their eyes are doing.

You say this strategy is used by closeted gays to identify each other also confirms this as being gaydar.

You posed whether gaydar existed. That is different from asking how accurate someone's gaydar is.

If you were arguing that gaydar is flawed you may have a point, but not being 100% accurate does not mean it doesn't exist.

 

[bigboaster]

I would have to disagree with you.

Just because there is straightdar doesn't mean there isn't gaydar. In fact, being able to rule out men for being straight adds to the effectiveness of watching what their eyes are doing.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting either straightdar or gaydar exist. I think both are ridiculous ideas/words. I don't need to rule them out as straight first, their body language or facial cues are the sign I look for to see if they are potentially interested.

You say this strategy is used by closeted gays to identify each other also confirms this as being gaydar.

No it doesn't. This is just "body language". Not gaydar. You already admitted straight men do it too? Am i missing something here?

You posed whether gaydar existed. That is different from asking how accurate someone's gaydar is.

If you were arguing that gaydar is flawed you may have a point, but not being 100% accurate does not mean it doesn't exist.

Gaydar doesn't exist because it is inherently flawed is my claim tbh. How would you suggest it exists if it isn't universal, it's totally subjective, it's premise can be employed by straight men towards women and it isn't useful in identifying/differentiating sexually fluid/bisexual men vs gay men?

Where is it existing? Because someone people claim to have it? some people also claim to be psychic, doesn't mean there is evidence for that either.

 

[Kanashi]

some people also claim to be psychic, doesn't mean there is evidence for that either.

yes yes yes! this exactly what goes through my mind as i read some of the responses in this thread.

 

[Brodie888]

To be clear, I'm not suggesting either straightdar or gaydar exist. I think both are ridiculous ideas/words. I don't need to rule them out as straight first, their body language or facial cues are the sign I look for to see if they are potentially interested.


No it doesn't. This is just "body language". Not gaydar. You already admitted straight men do it too? Am i missing something here?


Gaydar doesn't exist because it is inherently flawed is my claim tbh. How would you suggest it exists if it isn't universal, it's totally subjective, it's premise can be employed by straight men towards women and it isn't useful in identifying/differentiating sexually fluid/bisexual men vs gay men?

Where is it existing? Because someone people claim to have it? some people also claim to be psychic, doesn't mean there is evidence for that either.

Perhaps you need to define what you think gaydar is. Because my definition is the ability to interpret signs such as appearance, body language and facial cues to determine homosexual tendencies.

Being a subjective art doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Eg music is highly subjective.

 

[bigboaster]

Perhaps you need to define what you think gaydar is. Because my definition is the ability to interpret signs such as appearance, body language and facial cues to determine homosexual tendencies.

Being a subjective art doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Eg music is highly subjective.

We all know music exists, music and art are still demonstrable concepts. That's not a good analogy tbh. I was using the definition of gaydar I included in my original post: (which is basically what Google suggested)
"the supposed ability to identify people as being gay by means of intuition or very slight indications."

 

[chrisrobin]

Oh dear, but then each to his own ways of percetion.
Yes gaydar does exist - and yes its easy to pick the obvious or so called stereotypes and say gaydar is working buts its more than that.
If you're one of those peole who isnt able to pick up signals maybe its because youy are insensitive or to busy with yourself to notice the signs, and also, more importanlty it doesnt work if the other person doesnt find you interesting, its a two way thing.

 

[bigboaster]

Oh dear, but then each to his own ways of percetion.

Yes people perceive whatever they want all the time, even when fundamentally wrong.

Yes gaydar does exist - and yes its easy to pick the obvious or so called stereotypes and say gaydar is working buts its more than that.

"more than that" Okay what is that? the sixth sense?

If you're one of those peole who isnt able to pick up signals maybe its because youy are insensitive or to busy with yourself to notice the signs, and also, more importanlty it doesnt work if the other person doesnt find you interesting, its a two way thing.

Signals are things all humans use to find potential mates, straights and gays do this all the time. Nothing interesting or special about that. smh All of the rest of what you said is just catty nonsense that has nothing to do with anything

 

[ILoveGames48]

Gaydar to me as I growing up and guys would say “ my gaydar is working” I always just thought they were kidding around .

I’ve never had gaydar I just see a guy I like and go to him chat and get to know him that way..