How much does race matter aka is it ok to lie about one's ethnicity?

[AlteredEgo]

Why you talk of runaway slaves who were entirely white?

I didn't say that. I said almost. Enough generations of white owner raping black slave will result in nearly white slaves.

I guess I want to be tolerated by everyone which to be honest is a very quixotic aspiration to hold.

Unattainable. Even white people are not universally tolerated. You cannot control what other people do, but you can control what other people are allowed in your inner circle.

 

[khadejiacat]

The example of your coworker identifying as Black is very similar to my mother's situation. She looks like a "stereotypical East Asian woman" and yet her mother is Black and father Chinese ( very rare mix incidentally) and she considers herself Black or Mixed when pushed to that. I guess I became more racially conscious when she told me why she identified as such- she feels more accepted and more comfortable.

I agree. By asking such a question in the first place, they are basically admitting they deem someone purely on race which probably equates to a rather nasty personality in general. We all have preferences but as you state social grace could be a bit more present. I understand people have racial preferences but what I think makes it the most awkward is the tone of the question. It's as if I'm a borderline case. I'm so close yet so far from being accepted, from their perspective. I wouldn't mind if it was something I could change- weight, style, hair colour but it's the one thing I can't change even if I wanted to.

That's a really good piece of advice. I should question them more readily. I have done that in the past and they always seemed to look shocked which is probably a good thing. I find the more bigoted and racist people tend to be closeted which is why I'm surprised by their question.

My gram's mother was black and father Chinese as well. Its a very rare mix and this was back in the 40s. She identified as black as well.

 

[1g5463]

I didn't say that. I said almost. Enough generations of white owner raping black slave will result in nearly white slaves.

Sorry for misunderstanding your post. What you wrote makes perfect sense.

IUnattainable. Even white people are not universally tolerated. You cannot control what other people do, but you can control what other people are allowed in your inner circle.

I agree hence I know I am being completely deluded if I were to think I would tolerated. I'd hate to control other people's thoughts and actions- it reeks of egoism and possible insincerity on their part. But those around me I can pick those who actually like me for me.

 

[1g5463]

My gram's mother was black and father Chinese as well. Its a very rare mix and this was back in the 40s. She identified as black as well.

Wow that is so cool! Was your great grandmother from the South? That was often the first port of call for many migrant workers. A few of my uncles identify as black and married black women and their kids identify as Blasian. I'm seeing that term used a lot actually.

 

[fluffychocolate]

The example of your coworker identifying as Black is very similar to my mother's situation. She looks like a "stereotypical East Asian woman" and yet her mother is Black and father Chinese ( very rare mix incidentally) and she considers herself Black or Mixed when pushed to that. I guess I became more racially conscious when she told me why she identified as such- she feels more accepted and more comfortable.

I agree. By asking such a question in the first place, they are basically admitting they deem someone purely on race which probably equates to a rather nasty personality in general. We all have preferences but as you state social grace could be a bit more present. I understand people have racial preferences but what I think makes it the most awkward is the tone of the question. It's as if I'm a borderline case. I'm so close yet so far from being accepted, from their perspective. I wouldn't mind if it was something I could change- weight, style, hair colour but it's the one thing I can't change even if I wanted to.

That's a really good piece of advice. I should question them more readily. I have done that in the past and they always seemed to look shocked which is probably a good thing. I find the more bigoted and racist people tend to be closeted which is why I'm surprised by their question.

Always be happy and proud of who you are and what makes you up. It will make questioning their motives easier. I bet they do look shocked. They never thought anyone would call them on their racism.

 

[AlteredEgo]

But those around me I can pick those who actually like me for me.

I hope you will. You deserve, like anyone else, to be happy, and truly loved.

and their kids identify as Blasian.

I went to summer camp with twins who identified as Blackanese. Used to crack me up.

 

[khadejiacat]

Wow that is so cool! Was your great grandmother from the South? That was often the first port of call for many migrant workers. A few of my uncles identify as black and married black women and their kids identify as Blasian. I'm seeing that term used a lot actually.

Yeah, it was in the south. My great grandma worked at the laundry owned by my great grandpa.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

The president of the Cherokee Nation Bill John Baker is 1/32 but as you've said it's not about race per se but more of a cultural affiliation. In a sense one with minuscule Cherokee identity can be seen as Cherokee if he or she embraces their cultural norms. One might even call it fraternal ism I suppose. I can understand why you would be reluctant to claim membership. Why you talk of runaway slaves who were entirely white? Were these of Irish descent or other "ethnic white" ancestry? I know for a time there was an Anglocentric system in place that put other whites at a disadvantage? Sorry If I sound tangential but I did a course at college about early American history and it fascinates me.

I guess they are likely insecure themselves and foisting it onto me as a way of relief. It's not healthy and I'd hate for anyone to experience it. I know very well that many don't think like that but then again I guess I want to be tolerated by everyone which to be honest is a very quixotic aspiration to hold. I agree that I can also compartmentalise between my work and relationships. I'm in no rush I guess.

Which nation? There are two, North Carolina and Talequah.
fun fact, the first printing press in Oklahoma was brought to the territory by John Ross, a Cherokee who ran the very first newspaper in Oklahoma.
The second? Black owned (I'm thinking it was Langston, but I can't recall).
Third was the Gaylords, owners of the Daily Oklahoman (not Oklahoma Daily, that's OU's student paper), who did not allow a black face on the front page until the 1970s.

 

[malakos]

I wouldn't recommend it, but I don't think it's a terrible thing to lie about if the consequences of telling the truth are highly aversive. Some things really ought testified to, even if there are averse consequences. I'm not sure that race is one of those things. And actually, sometimes people don't deserve the truth, or even telling the truth will lead away from the greater good. For instance, when the gestapo came to the house of a family that was hiding Jews, the vast majority of them lied. Most of us recognize that that was actually the preferable choice.

 

[1g5463]

Always be happy and proud of who you are and what makes you up. It will make questioning their motives easier. I bet they do look shocked. They never thought anyone would call them on their racism.

I think they feel they can get away with it because for many it does seem to be a benign question. A curiosity if you will. I'm content with who I am and am not ashamed at all. To be honest racial pride/ superiority of all kinds is silly because it's being proud of something that you literally cannot help.

 

[1g5463]

Yeah, it was in the south. My great grandma worked at the laundry owned by my great grandpa.

Ah that's such a sweet story. I'm not American but my grandmother owned a launderette and tailors with my grandfather. What a coincidence

 

[1g5463]

I hope you will. You deserve, like anyone else, to be happy, and truly loved.

Thanks You probably get this all the time but you have a knack for being honest whilst reassuring not that the two are mutually exclusive. It's a very treasured trait imo.

I went to summer camp with twins who identified as Blackanese. Used to crack me up.

I'm confused was it the twins who cracked you up or their identification?

 

[1g5463]

Which nation? There are two, North Carolina and Talequah.
fun fact, the first printing press in Oklahoma was brought to the territory by John Ross, a Cherokee who ran the very first newspaper in Oklahoma.
The second? Black owned (I'm thinking it was Langston, but I can't recall).
Third was the Gaylords, owners of the Daily Oklahoman (not Oklahoma Daily, that's OU's student paper), who did not allow a black face on the front page until the 1970s.

He is from Oklahoma and got re-elected today actually. Was the Oklahoma printing press revolutionary in the sense it was owned by minority groups until the Gaylords took over?

 

[malakos]

I think they feel they can get away with it because for many it does seem to be a benign question. A curiosity if you will. I'm content with who I am and am not ashamed at all. To be honest racial pride/ superiority of all kinds is silly because it's being proud of something that you literally cannot help.

So... "black pride" and "gay pride" are both silly?

 

[1g5463]

So... "black pride" and "gay pride" are both silly?

No because they serve as movements against oppression often by the state. Pride for them is a resistance and a form of solidarity.

 

[malakos]

No because they serve as movements against oppression often by the state. Pride for them is a resistance and a form of solidarity.

Now I don't understand what you're really saying because you are contradicting yourself.

 

[1g5463]

Now I don't understand what you're really saying because you are contradicting yourself.

Pride was used as a force to unite people to strive for greater equality. They weren't boasting supremacy per se nor were they attempting to impose their lifestyle or worse eradicate other peoples. The gay pride movement wanted equality not to make everyone gay.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Thanks You probably get this all the time but you have a knack for being honest whilst reassuring not that the two are mutually exclusive. It's a very treasured trait imo.




I'm confused was it the twins who cracked you up or their identification?

That is the first I've heard that, actually. Thank you. Their identification was funny to me at the time. I wonder if they heard it somewhere, or thought of it on their own. I think they were Vietnamese on the Asian side of their family.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

One drop rule? Did you read that article in Indian Country Today as well?

Also, men you are posting in Ask A Woman forum. Hellerrrrrr

 

[AlteredEgo]

Hellerrrrrr

*dies*
Okay, Madea. LOL