How the do you find a buddy?

[CollStorm]

I'm not looking for romance. I'm just looking to get together with another sane guy, who just wants to get his rocks off once to twice a week.

I've tried Manhunt (no luck for two years)

Adam4Adam has been a joke.

Squirt.org is just worthless.

Craigslist is basically a bunch of closeted bisexual/gay guys looking for cock pics to get off to.

I'm seriously wondering how anyone does it.

I'm not much of a drinker or club person and I'm in the closet about my bisexuality. It's just hard for me to understand what I should do next.

 

[CollStorm]

Does anyone have any advice?

 

[curious1only]

Have you tried grindr or hornet?

 

[jtm011]

I agree with you Collstorm. I've found many of the same things and I'm wondering the same thing too.

As for Grindr, it's only good for the under 30 crowd and you gotta be out and not closeted for it to work. Also, it's kind of sleazy.

I think there's a lot of guys out there looking for the same advice.

 

[1Cody]

Simple really, the more people you meet you increase your opportunities like anything else. One really good way is through friends and family. A mixed crowd with female friends and male friends provide these opportunities equally. I would caution you about seeking in your own neighborhood or among your neighbors unless of course you discover you are both truly discrete and both of your privacy will be respected. I have a friend that ends up being the talk of his apartments by mixing too much with his neighbors.

I am guessing the type of relationship you are seeking is to be recurring. With that in mind it is good to seek out all of the commonalities not just sexual. It helps you to be more comfortable in social situations. Two of my closet friends have met a lot of my family and I have met a lot of theirs. No this is not advertised, all are closeted about being bi.

 

[CollStorm]

Like I said being discrete is the most important thing and mixing closeted bi friends with family isn't going to happen.

They're two separate pieces to my life.

Grinder: Used it briefly and agreed with the statement above. It's more for the American eagle poster boy, than real guys.

I never heard of the other app/site.

Any advice is appreciated.

 

[SnazzyBear]

Scruff has worked for me have had a buddy for a while now and it's going good hope this helps

 

[Panoptik]

I guess I'm not technically bi but I've been fooling around with a bi guy who is with a woman. Only mutual jo and kissing. Met on Scruff.

 

[Seattledon]

What is Hornet?

 

[Panoptik]

What is Hornet?

Gay "networking" app for iOS and Android. It's more about pic swapping than the likes of Grindr.

 

[theplayerking]

Finding a general hookup online is not difficult unless you're very overweight or live in the middle of nowhere. However, finding another deeply closeted guys who's looking for something ongoing is actually quite difficult. Personally, I stopped chatting with closeted guys looking to "explore" with a quasi-monogamous fuck buddy a long time ago. Hookup sites are for hooking up. It's more of a spur of the moment type thing and the people who frequent them, myself included, like casual sex. Often a lot of casual sex with different people.

I'm not criticizing your choices, but merely suggesting that your scenario is unrealistic, especially in 2014. Yes, you may run across someone in your situation with whom you share an attraction, but it's not easy. You might have better luck on a dating site. You're not really looking for a true hookup.

 

[ActionBuddy]

Wanting to, too... But, scared of judgements, and where to meet up. And, where we can do stuff without it being to intrusive, but hopefully comfortable... With DSL Internet!

I miss the tree fort my friends and I had when I was a teenager, with a pile of sticky porn mags that we stole from our dads' stashes... I also miss being as slim as I was then!... lol

A/B

 

[KennF]

Any of those apps work or don't work based on how you approach it and what you expect.

You are going to go through a lots of one-nighters to find an emotional connection.

Best advice I could give is, (a) continue to put yourself out there; (b) don't start by saying I want a long-term fuck bud. Just fuck 'em and then try again; and then again; and then make it a more steady thing.

 

[Kilop588]

Like I said being discrete is the most important thing and mixing closeted bi friends with family isn't going to happen.

They're two separate pieces to my life.

Grinder: Used it briefly and agreed with the statement above. It's more for the American eagle poster boy, than real guys.

I never heard of the other app/site.

Any advice is appreciated.

Agreed, unless you're young, skinny and white you can forget grindr!

 

[CollStorm]

I'm skinny and white, but that's about it.

 

[interestedchap]

Grindr is not that bad if you're willing to sift through the horny ones to get to the ones in similar situations to yours. I've met some great guys there - some I still haven't even hooked up with but the friendship is going strong. I've even met a singer on the app and we'll be recording some music very soon!

 

[CollStorm]

Very cool to hear that you've had some luck.

 

[sjcgymrat]

I've enjoyed the Scruff app the most, but you are going to have to post pics and provide some info to get the time of day. Also, if you have a very fixed and definite image in mind for what you want, you'll find that he might as well and you've cut yourself out. Good luck exploring!

 

[luvinlife83]

I agree with you Collstorm. I've found many of the same things and I'm wondering the same thing too.

As for Grindr, it's only good for the under 30 crowd and you gotta be out and not closeted for it to work. Also, it's kind of sleazy.

I think there's a lot of guys out there looking for the same advice.

Im in agreement. Grindr only works if you look like a damn fitness model, I've had some luck on craigslist only because I "settled" for something other than what I was looking for must of the time. Like if I want to bottom (like now), I'll only get guys who are looking for a top. If Im looking for a white guy (again, like now) only brothas answer me. Honestly, If I could afford it, I'd just get a regular escort and fuck the other shit. Or Lately I've been thinking about going to a bath house but not sure. The verdict is still out on that one LOL

 

[BBCONLYCPL]

Craigslist seems to still work after dealing with all the BS, fakes and flakes.. there is occasionally a diamond in the rough. I find it better to place an ad and then weed through the replies as responding to an ad and then waiting seems to be, most of the time, a waste of time. I have found very well hung males to join the wife and I for MFM fun, but she is usually the draw for them and bi play is an option. Currently looking for a "blow buddy" and might have found one, from CL, that just came over last night. Wife did join in as he was very good looking and had a nice cock, so she couldn't resist, and now I hope he and I can have some M on M fun without her around at times..