How well do you know your sexuality?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Drifterwood, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. Drifterwood

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    My gut feel is that many women don't know themselves very well at all.

    This forum may not be indicative, so don't take that personally, and certainly don't take this as a relative comparison to men.

    Do you think that is a gradual understanding based upon different experiences, or just something you understand when you find it as it were?

    I just want to edit this slightly. Do you discuss your sexuality with your partners, or do you expect to feel your way to a mutual understanding. Perhaps you discuss it more with women friends than with the men in your life?
     
    #1 Drifterwood, Feb 3, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2010
  2. dolfette

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    ha! i think this question would be better answered at a church service than on a dick site. most of the ladies here are pretty damn self aware when it comes to sex.
     
  3. Drifterwood

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    I am shocked that you can see me at a Church service.

    And your answer to the question? :tongue:
     
  4. Principessa

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    My darling Drifterwood, WTF are you talking about? :confused: It's never been discussed. At least I don't think it has. I'm 100% straight. No man has ever asked me to be part of a 3some involving another woman or another man. I'm not sure if that's because I am so overtly heterosexual or because I alone am enough to satisfy all their needs. Perhaps it's a combination of the two. :flirt:

    Are you asking at what point bisexual women decide to share that info with a male lover?
     
  5. dolfette

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    how well do i know my sexuality? pretty damn well!
    grumpy, tetchy, lazy thing that it is.

    i can see you corrupting the preacher's wife.
     
  6. Gillette

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    I'm not sure I see the difference between these two. Understanding as you find it means a new experience does it not?

    Discuss it with partners. I think open communication about something you expect to share is a good thing.
     
  7. Cougar

    Cougar New Member

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    When you ask about us being in touch with our sexuality, I didn't read it as sexuality based on gender, but our sexual response to all things that arouse us.

    I think many people (men & women both, but women more so) are very out of touch with their sexuality.

    I myself am very aware of all things I find erotic and that make my pussy twitch.
     
  8. AlteredEgo

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    This is pretty much my response.
     
  9. NotSoDumb_Blonde

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    Well, I learned the hard way to DISCUSS my sexuality, my wants, fantasies, needs....if not, if you don't compare with what your partner wants, needs then you can be WAY disappointed. But, I don't think this is your question at all...not what a couple discusses, but what I feel about my own sexuality? I think, Dolfette answered this, we (women) are on here, so....many of us are very opinionated, maybe considered 'liberated' with out own sexuality. I mean, we are on a site for large penis support, and that in itself amazes many guys, but not so much me. I like myself, I'm pretty open minded, and I feel secure in my sexuality because I am open minded, i.e. I'll give it a go once, but if it's not working for me, or I don't want to give it a go, I'm completely okay with telling my partner no, or maybe, but maybe not. LOL, so, if you were asking if I am in tune with my sexuality, I am. If you were asking if I discuss my sexuality with potential partners, or current partners, then yes to that too.

    And, by the way, why ask questions like this when you've not listed your 'gender' on your profile....it just seems like an odd interest when you yourself aren't really giving much...no offense, meant, just curious. And maybe I am the only one on the site that doesn't know your gender, but when answering a question like this, it's nice to know where to start with the answer, in other words, if you were a guy, I might answer a bit differently, more background maybe, then if it was a woman asking...not sure, just a thought.
     
  10. Gillette

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    It shouldn't make a difference considering the questions posed.
     
  11. NotSoDumb_Blonde

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    well, for some reason, it popped in my head to wonder if a guy was asking or a gal, so....my own question came from that.
     
  12. Drifterwood

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    I have to admit that this comes from my personal experience. I have not come to understand my sexual self through a single partner, as I imagine some have, not least because of good communication, but through multiple experiences with different people that have allowed me to see the mosaic.

    I'm a man, BJ :cool:
     
  13. helgaleena

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    There is no substitute for experience. If there were some way to reduce the amount of heartache along the way that would be good.

    Communicating is the key, obviously, and what gets in my way all too often is an irrational fear of looking ignorant. I was conditioned by criticisms as a child to not ask if I didn't know a thing but to find out on my own, by parents who did not want to be bothered, on all subjects, not just sex. It has taken long and long to overcome that.

    It's an all too common mental hurdle that applies to your inquiry.
     
  14. Not_Punny

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    Good question, DW.

    Assuming you mean sexuality in the broader sense, and not limiting it to just sexual orientation, my answer is as follows:

    I am still trying to figure out my sexuality.

    Because I had an rather repressive religious upbringing and marriage, sexuality is/was a bit confusing for me. I had to become spiritually liberated before I could liberate myself sexually.

    Luckily, sexuality is easier (and probably more fun) to figure out -- and I have a rather long list of things yet to try. :biggrin:
     
  15. Cougar

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    Here is a more indepth response to my being in touch with my sexuality rather than the more vauge answer I gave that clearly sidestepped the question.

    Not until a few years ago would I become aware of my sexual responses. I "stuffed" themdown deep. Now when some odd, perverse or obscene image or idea enters my brain and I get a physical respone...I aknowledge it, wher in the past I would be more inclned to stuff it down deep and ignore that it ever happend.

    I tend to get aroused by some kinky stuff, up untol a few years ago, I did not know this. So I understand women who are not in touch.
     
  16. lustful10

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    I think I pretty much know my sexuality - sexual orientation and otherwise. I know a fair amount of things that at least on some level turn me on... even if I don't know why. I guess it can change/vary over time, but some stays the same. Perhaps now and again I do discover new things too, but as I say - it's all very fluid (sexuality etc). As for orienation - well, I'm bisexual. Yes I've talked about it sometimes. My boyfriend is also bisexual and has told me some things too. We both know some things that turn us both on, which is cool - because it's good to be pretty similar to your partner and have things in common. There will be differences, but there always is. I know I'm quite a horny/dirty/lustful person in general. I pretty often just admit it, and enjoy it. My guy certainly likes this fact, too. I think I'm a pretty open minded and free spirited woman, or else I wouldn't be on here would I?
     
  17. badgirl22

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    I am extremely in tune with my sexuality. Am opening a sexual health and well-being boutique in my area to help others get better in tune with their sexuality as well - and, actually my gyno is going to do sexual health and well being seminars with us. Have a website as well but it still has a long way to go. I feel strongly that women (and men but women are typically my shy about it) should embrace/celebrate their sensual side (and no, that doesn't mean just going out and fucking around!). We have a clitoris and damn-it-all, we should enjoy it with out feeling shame! LOL!
     
  18. lustful10

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    Have to agree - hooray for the clit! :cool:
     
  19. Ethyl

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    Ditto, but i'd like to add that i've learned as much or more about my sexuality through relationships rather than singular or plural experiences.
     
  20. EllieP

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    I have to say that it took a lot of growing up before I discovered my sexuality or even the fact that I had sexuality. I married very young, and I wanted to be a mom. That's all that sex was good for then - to reach my goal. I reached it and the rest was merely an exercise. At least that's the way I was treated.

    When I became single again I began to discover some things I never thought I should be able to experience. But it felt just right.

    Then I married the most wonderful and loving man in the world and my eyes became wide open. I had a lot of old social phobias to discard. And he helped me through it not at all once but gently and over the course of time.

    Is it weird to say that he made me become more of a woman? Sorry for anyone that feels I shouldn't have to rely on a man to do that, but if it wasn't for him I wouldn't feel like I do now.

    I will say this - he's a lot more open about his sexuality than I am. Apparently he shed all of his inhibitions a long time ago. I'm still learning, but I already know a whole lot.