I Gets To Thinkin...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Knight, Nov 6, 2005.

  1. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    Hi guys (and gals). I've been in a contemplative mood today and less recently. I'm not really that into the course I've chosen, have missed quite a few IMPORTANT lessons/classes/seminars. Due to drunkeness, laziness, and sometimes some anxiety.

    I'd much more like to do an English related course, specifically creative writing or English language at least. For some reason I'm into poetry now, but I could write stories, which I used to do exclusively, effectively, and enjoyably. I'll look into that and see if I can transfer next year. It's just I wouldn't like to fail this first year or have it all be worth nothing since its cost a lot just to move here, get into uni etc.

    I was thinking of sending off to some writing competitions too, I have one poem 'Phoenix Rising' that everyone I've showed it too seems to like. Do you [Naughy] think I should send that off?

    Anyway, I'm dreading going to a class tomorrow, where I've missed two lessons and at least two important pieces of work (that were basic things, like doing a CV and some Excel stuff) that contribute 50% of my final grade. Then on Tuesday I go back to two classes where I've missed 4 of them in a row, and one I haven't even had one lesson of yet (Japanese). That's quite nerve-wracking but I'll do it. I'm just not happy with the way things have gone, and how much I've missed already. I spose it's salvagable, and if I were doing English, a course I enjoy things would be better also.

    My girlfriend is very inexperienced, and takes things real slow, is shy etc and quite like me (INFJ), eg I asked her tonight 'what are you doin' when she was touchin me or something and she'd say 'I don't know' in a very doubting tone. I've been thinking maybe I should just leave her, break up and find a more willing, or expressive and less scared or nervous girl?

    Although I do really like her...Just wondering what y'all think, comments or advice or something. Thanks.
     
  2. Ineligible

    Ineligible New Member

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    Hi Knight, you'll be doing the right thing facing up to your fears and fronting the classes. Even if you decide to change course, whatever course you do will have dull bits that you really don't feel like doing, so pushing yourself on is an important thing to practice. Nearly all students get motivation problems at some stage, and there's no real answer but to keep on slogging on.

    Failing this year will make it harder to get into another course - selectors often feel that someone who fails one course is likely to fail another, and they're very often right. Talk to your instructors and say you've been having anxiety problems. University staff are people - often contemptuous of lazy students they never see, but prepared to help students they know and like. (Of course some are complete bastards, but not most of them.)

    Do send off stuff to writing competitions - it will give you some idea if you are any good. That can be difficult to tell from friends.

    I think the issue with your girlfriend is whether you feel close to her. It sounds like you have doubts.
     
  3. Love-it

    Gold Member

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    If your girl friend doesn't know how or where to touch you, you are not giving her signals that she can understand.

    Communication goes both ways and if you give up on her, you are giving up on yourself.
     
  4. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Knight &#064; Nov 6 2005, 11&#58;07 PM) [post=358760]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
    My girlfriend is very inexperienced, and takes things real slow, is shy etc and quite like me (INFJ), eg I asked her tonight &#39;what are you doin&#39; when she was touchin me or something and she&#39;d say &#39;I don&#39;t know&#39; in a very doubting tone. I&#39;ve been thinking maybe I should just leave her, break up and find a more willing, or expressive and less scared or nervous girl?

    Although I do really like her...Just wondering what y&#39;all think, comments or advice or something. Thanks.
    [/b][/quote]

    Speaking as someone who was once very inexperienced (and I&#39;m still not a playa or anything [​IMG] )...

    It&#39;s hard to tell what&#39;s going through her head or how your relationship works from 2 paragraphs. But I think you should talk with her. Obviously she likes you. She does seem unsure from what you&#39;re saying. But I&#39;m sure she&#39;d like to learn, and wants to make you feel good (and vice versa). Maybe once you get her talking about what you like and what she likes, she&#39;ll open up. Still waters run deep they say (and I have found this to be true).

    The thing with breaking up with her for this reason alone is that it may wreck her self confidence... and besides, a little uncertainty isn&#39;t something to break up over. Unless, as I said, there&#39;s more to this than I&#39;m picking up from the 2 paragaphs.
     
  5. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    Sorry this was supposed to be in the Relationships section&#33; LOL I was tired, got in at 3am last night.

    Thanks though, yeah I&#39;ll talk to her, we do talk more than we used to, slowly but surely kinda thing. Like the other night, (Friday I gave her a massage) and she liked that, I managed to get her top off :D she has a great body. So then last night I gave her a proper massage, and she really liked that, and I showed her how to give me one (previously she&#39;d be squeezing my skin in her hands, effectively pinching me).

    I guess I should stick with it, its just I&#39;d like to please her, but she seems apprehensive. We&#39;ll talk I guess, plus she&#39;s even more interested in me now since I wrote a poem about her, and she&#39;s printed it out and really likes it, and knows its about her lol.

    I&#39;ll stick with it, just had a few doubting moments. Thanks. And could someone please move this to Relationships? lol.
     
  6. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Paul, at the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, I&#39;ve got to interject some advice here.

    You have admitted to spending a lot of time pursuing a gal (or gals), coming home habitually in the wee hours and missing classes and assignments.

    Right now, Paul, you have to get a hold of yourself. Are you paying the University a lot of money for shits and giggles or are you laying a foundation for a career?

    Figure out how many hours of class you have in a week, add in the required study/project hours each course requires: that&#39;s the Uni&#39;s time. Whatever is left over for the week is your time. Even if it&#39;s not much time left for you, at least you&#39;ll be able to shit and giggle without guilt.
     
  7. naughty

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pecker &#064; Nov 7 2005, 04&#58;22 PM) [post=358924]Quoted post[/post]</div><div class='quotemain'>
    Paul, at the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, I&#39;ve got to interject some advice here.

    You have admitted to spending a lot of time pursuing a gal (or gals), coming home habitually in the wee hours and missing classes and assignments.

    Right now, Paul, you have to get a hold of yourself. Are you paying the University a lot of money for shits and giggles or are you laying a foundation for a career?

    Figure out how many hours of class you have in a week, add in the required study/project hours each course requires: that&#39;s the Uni&#39;s time. Whatever is left over for the week is your time. Even if it&#39;s not much time left for you, at least you&#39;ll be able to shit and giggle without guilt.
    [/b][/quote]


    Paul,

    You know I dont spare any punches with you, but it looks like Pecker has beat me to the punch&#33; You will have plenty of time to date and mate. Right now you need to get it in gear and get in that classroom, study your lessons and stop playing around. I think everyone here has given you great advice. You are so lucky that so many people care about you. Dont fool around and regret messing up this opportunity for the rest of your life. Be ruled by the big head, not the little one&#33; ( I can not believe I just said that &#33; ) IT would be one thing if that were all you had going for you ,but you have so much more to offer than you are giving right now. Besides, if you are gone next semester your relationship may be a moot point. News flash&#33; Women tend to like men who have a good head on their shoulders. Don&#39;t be a first semester casualty Get it together , baby boy&#33;

    Still luv ya,

    Kim
     
  8. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    Seriously Paul, I&#39;ve gotta agree with naughty and pecker on this one. You know I&#39;m in college myself and sad as it is, it&#39;s hard for me to find time for my boyfriend. Fortunately he understands my situation. I&#39;m in college full time and working full time. Between studying and work, it&#39;s hard as hell to find time for myself. I haven&#39;t been out since early September, which really sucks, but once the semester is over, I&#39;m gonna get smashed. Save your partying for when school&#39;s out. Divide your time up between school and your girlfriend, since she&#39;s obviously important to you. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to give up something important to you in order to get your feet on the ground in a career (for me, I gave up partying and almost all of my social life [​IMG] )... Once it&#39;s all said and done, then you can party (well, that&#39;s my take on things)... My biggest piece of advice for you is to prioritize your time. It&#39;s what I had to do, and remember, there are others who are just as miserable as you when you stay home to do homework rather than party. Good luck. I wish you the best, no matter what course you decide to take. Good luck with your girlfriend too... give her time and she&#39;ll open up... that&#39;s usually how it goes... [​IMG]
     
  9. SUMYUNGUY

    SUMYUNGUY New Member

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    godiluvabig1 is not only very attractive (perhaps a temptation, of sorts, on a LPSG site) but she also has her priorities straight.
    That aside, and coming from a male point of view...

    Move on. From my experiance(?) your girl will have more issues than what she is showing at the present. You&#39;re in for a long road of mental games and emotional anguish if you decide to stick it out. I&#39;ve read your posts in the past. No need to listen to someone who doesn&#39;t know you or your GF, but don&#39;t say I didn&#39;t tell you so. [​IMG]
     
  10. BJT

    BJT New Member

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    Knight I gotta agree with what everyone is saying. I am a college student working on a Composite Material Engineering degree. I have 20 credits theis semester and will likely have 20+ next semester because I am picking up a business minor. I do not have a job other than school which is nice but I still find very little time for a social life. Currently what I do is study and attend classes (going to classes helps) sunday morning-friday afternoon. I can party friday night and sat night, this is usually enough for me. You have a relationship so do you could do something like this but party ONE night and spend the other night/day with your girl.
     
  11. Cicero77

    Cicero77 New Member

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    Haven't got much to add to the good advice these guys have given (though it's tough to stick to isn't it - from mates I've spoken to yours sounds like a typical English Uni semester hehe. Ahem, not that that makes it a good idea of course... :p ).

    Just wanted to say I'm an INFJ too mate hehe! I also struggle with a similar issue - feeling creative but try to apply myself to studies/jobs that have security instead, but then can't seem to discipline myself and just become a low achiever :D

    Maybe it's something about that personality type mate hehe... Btw, your poems are great - keep em coming (when you have time between your studies of course...hehe).

    Ian.