@ ericats
Not sad at all. You think the way a woman's brain thinks. You'll probably have a hard time understanding the way a male brain works when dealing with two different aspects of love life. Carnal and emotional. Many men will just go for the extra bit, that will spice things up when they try having sex with another person, other than their wives. Doesnt mean that they are not in love with their wives or that they get no pleasure from their relationship/wedding.... It is just normal for the male mind to venture far from the love nest. There are still many men that refrain from doing so. A friend of mine confessed that after getting married it was extremely hard for him to stop thinking of having sex with other women or men. He just tries to put up with it. And he said that he is not happy with this.... I am not against casual sex even for those who are married. If this makes things better (and even if both are not open to their partners, hiding things, etc) then it is just fine. For a man, his heart doesnt necessarily connect with his penis, cuz these two organs lead to a completely different way of thinking. Even if a man is happy in bed with one woman or man, this will not wipe out all other possible lovers to be or one night stands or quickies (the penis' way of thinking/ carnal). And yet having a quick romance doesnt mean that he will stop loving his wife (the heart's way of thinking/ emotional).
In this case of intercourse mentioned in this thread, there is also touch of submission and domination as u know that when a man gets serviced by a cocksucker, there is no need to do something since both know in advance that it works just fine for both of them. Very convenient, no need to make any efforts to please your parnter, as the idea, for both of them having what they need is already pleasing.
I hope this will give you a hint what sex means to men and how it is different to seeking pleasure within the frame of emotional life, or that of sexually arousing life.
Take care.