Men Crying?

[B_subgirrl]

I almost never cry myself and I never cry when I'm watching movies, so a man that cried a lot would bother me. But if something really terrible had happened I wouldn't think any less of him if he cried then.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Ladies and guys, what do you think of Men that cry, over sad films or emotionally, say in a row with yourself?, is it soppy or masculine for the want of a better word?

What do you think?

I think it's neither. It's human.

Some humans cry more, some cry less.

Looking at many of the responses in this thread I find it a little disconcerting how judgemental so many of you are about crying.

I cry regularly. Rarely a day goes by that I don't. Sometimes it is just a physical reaction. When I'm really angry I get choked and cry. When I'm really happy I get choked and cry. Sometimes it is an emotional reaction to a thought or feeling - good or bad.

It doesn't mean I'm any more or less in touch with my feelings than anyone else - it just means I react differently. Same is true for a man that cries. Hick cries at many of the same things I do - it's not a sign of weakness nor of strength - it's just part of who he is.

 

[B_Hickboy]

If men were not supposed to cry they would not be able to.

You are wise beyond your years. :tongue:

 

[petite]

I literally couldn't cry as a child until I had an op - now I can cry on demand, but don't.

It's insincere crying that bothers me. One guy in particular I dated was the Queen of Melodrama, and he cried a lot, but I rarely ever felt like it was sincere, and that made me think less of him. He'd have a brief moment of sincere emotion where tears came to his eyes, and I think he'd see my expression softening, and then he'd react by acting, exaggerating his crying, trying to cry more, and then I'd roll my eyes at him and feel annoyed. That same behavior is irritating if you're a man or a woman.

BTW, just because there's no crying , it doesn't mean that the depths of emotion aren't being explored.

This is true. TheBF isn't the sort of man who can put his feelings into words easily, but I know that his emotions run deep. He's not that good at concealing his feelings. His actions speak volumes.

My family kept a stiff upper lip. Around our house you were not supposed to get too emotional about anything. Nobody usually cried when great grandparents or grandparents died...of course they all had lived for nearly a century so it was not a big tragedy when they finally passed on.

Once when I cried as a kid after my dad whipped me with a belt (I can't remember the offense but I am sure I deserved it) he told me "only sissy's cry". I have never cried since then about anything, even when I was in the hospital and got a very serious diagnosis that could have been terminal. I will never let myself cry about anything no matter how awful it is.

I hate that your father taught you that "lesson." I think it's terrible. It makes me sad.

I think it's neither. It's human.

Some humans cry more, some cry less.

Looking at many of the responses in this thread I find it a little disconcerting how judgemental so many of you are about crying.

I felt the same way. I think crying can be a beautiful expression of emotion.

I don't think there are situations where it is more or less acceptable for men to shed a single tear before they stiffen that upper lip again. I certainly don't want to push men into such a narrow stereotype of "acceptable masculine behavior" any more than I think women should be pushed into narrow stereotypes of "acceptable feminine behavior." I hope people of both sexes can be as simple or complex as they will naturally be and that such a universal human expression of emotion is acceptable for both sexes.

I admire people who can sincerely cry in front of other people.* I am not comfortable crying in front of other people, and so I rarely do it, which can make me seem cold. If I open up and cry in front of you, it means that I trust you to a certain extent, I'm letting you see a part of me that not everyone sees. I think maybe that's why I feel like it's special when someone does it, if they're people who have difficulty crying in front of other people, like I do.

I've dated men who cried easily, and it came so easily to them that, no, it didn't represent strength or weakness at all and I didn't feel that their crying represented any kind of closeness between us because they were so comfortable with it. Their comfort in their own skin made me think more of them. I did admire their ability to cry and not feel self-conscious about it and not judge themselves. That I loved.

I think for TheBF, who has been raised to feel that he shouldn't allow himself to cry, that to allow himself to cry in front of me would require a different kind of strength, a different kind of courage than is typically considered stereotypically masculine. It might require a sort of trust. And it might not ever happen. He just may not be built for that.



* I am not referring to attention seeking or manipulative drama queen crying, which is irritating in either sex.

 

[dolfette]

i'm not judgemental about it. it just gets on my tits.

 

[EllieP]

I don't find crying masculine or feminine - it's human. It happens.

If Cap didn't cry I would probably think he's stifling something. But he does cry. Not often, but he does.

It takes a real tear-jerker movie to hear him take a deep sigh and maybe clear his throat. But every Father's Day card he receives from Pris will choke him up and make him wipe his eyes. Yep, just happened.

I love it. I love that he shares it with me, too. These are special moments, but every time he does I do, too, because I know his heart has been touched somehow and he's not afraid to show me he's human.

 

[D_Wally Walnuts]

I don't cry enough.

 

[B_johnschlong]

Men should always refrain from crying, unless it's really necessary.

Like Friedrich Nietzsche who, after having written some of the world's most important philosophical works, and having found incredible insights into life, collapsed, exhausted, lonely and abandoned, on the verge of a cosmic mental breakdown, - hugged a horse, and started crying, together with the horse. (This really happened, see: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:JZiy7oPuB24J:www.museomagazine.com/issue-10/etienne-chambaud-and-beno%C3%AEt-maire+nietzsche+crying+horse&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk)

In short: only cry when it's necessary. We aren't metrosexual sensitivos, are we? We are *not* what the cheap capitalistic trend-generating glossy magazines want us to be. We are men.

 

[D_Wally Walnuts]

Men should always refrain from crying, unless it's really necessary.

Like Friedrich Nietzsche who, after having written some of the world's most important philosophical works, and having found incredible insights into life, collapsed, exhausted, lonely and abandoned, on the verge of a cosmic mental breakdown, - hugged a horse, and started crying, together with the horse. (This really happened, see: Etienne Chambaud and Benoît Maire | Museo Magazine)

In short: only cry when it's necessary. We aren't metrosexual sensitivos, are we? We are *not* what the cheap capitalistic trend-generating glossy magazines want us to be. We are men.

gtfoh with that

 

[alwaysguessing]

I get very emotional during movies and often cry. I rarely cry about real life. I can recall once when I was in the hospital and they said I might have leukemia. And I cried after my girlfriend and I broke up and she had moved out, and I was left with a bunch of decor that reminded me of her. I got rid of all that crap and felt better.

I generally do not cry because I do not see a point. If there is a problem or a threat, I am usually motivated to solve or prevent it. I might become angry or pensive which seems to help focus emotional energy in a positive direction. Crying seems to be a reaction to a hopeless situation where I feel powerless to change it or avoid it.

 

[Embrace69]

I would be worried if I never saw the man I was with cry. Crying is part of human emotion and it means you actually allow yourself to feel.

I think that while a little crying at certain things, death, birth, a scene that touches you in a movie or something like that is acceptable. I don't think I'd be too horribly turned on if the man I was with cried over everything like his day going horribly wrong, or because onions make him cry or that he's just emotional just because. That to me would signify some mental instability because usually men don't cry in that manner.

Women on the other hand, do cry over those things because of hormonal issues not just because we may (or may not be) mentally unstable.

I think men are raised by society to have a more harsh outlook on thinks. They are supposed to be the rock and the women are supposed to be more soft natured etc. So crying for them isn't looked upon as a strength.

I want my man to be all of those things, strong, sensitive etc. If he never cried on certain things then I would think he had absolutely no heart whatsoever and I'm sure our relationship wouldn't last long.

 

[B_Hickboy]

I cry, I laugh. I fart, I bathe, I brush my teeth, I play jokes on unsuspecting victims. I can program a computer, kill all the hornets in a hive without getting stung, cook tasty meals, shoot with deadly accuracy, butcher a hog, build a house that will be standing long after I'm gone, paint pictures, write poetry, play several musical instruments, and sing, speak a language other than my native one, grow vegetables, fish well enough to feed a family, water ski, take good photographs, and get along with difficult coworkers. In short, I'm a human being. There is much to criticize about me.

Go ahead, you nasty motherfuckers, if you want to single out one thing or many and call them flaws. I'll still beat you with mine and then take yours from you and beat you with yours. An honest show of emotion is never wrong, never inappropriate, and if you ever try to make somebody else feel "less than" for making his or her true feelings known, the shame is yours, and you are the one who's stunted and fucked up inside.

 

[beretta8]

I cry, I laugh. I fart, I bathe, I brush my teeth, I play jokes on unsuspecting victims. I can program a computer, kill all the hornets in a hive without getting stung, cook tasty meals, shoot with deadly accuracy, butcher a hog, build a house that will be standing long after I'm gone, paint pictures, write poetry, play several musical instruments, and sing, speak a language other than my native one, grow vegetables, fish well enough to feed a family, water ski, take good photographs, and get along with difficult coworkers. In short, I'm a human being. There is much to criticize about me.

Go ahead, you nasty motherfuckers, if you want to single out one thing or many and call them flaws. I'll still beat you with mine and then take yours from you and beat you with yours. An honest show of emotion is never wrong, never inappropriate, and if you ever try to make somebody else feel "less than" for making his or her true feelings known, the shame is yours, and you are the one who's stunted and fucked up inside.

What he said.....:smile:

 

[D_Wally Walnuts]

I cry, I laugh. I fart, I bathe, I brush my teeth, I play jokes on unsuspecting victims. I can program a computer, kill all the hornets in a hive without getting stung, cook tasty meals, shoot with deadly accuracy, butcher a hog, build a house that will be standing long after I'm gone, paint pictures, write poetry, play several musical instruments, and sing, speak a language other than my native one, grow vegetables, fish well enough to feed a family, water ski, take good photographs, and get along with difficult coworkers. In short, I'm a human being. There is much to criticize about me.

Go ahead, you nasty motherfuckers, if you want to single out one thing or many and call them flaws. I'll still beat you with mine and then take yours from you and beat you with yours. An honest show of emotion is never wrong, never inappropriate, and if you ever try to make somebody else feel "less than" for making his or her true feelings known, the shame is yours, and you are the one who's stunted and fucked up inside.

^This...except for the water skiing.

 

[crescendo69]

I've cried over a few threads here, (not this one).

I cry when someone dies in a movie; it reminds me of someone I knew.

I occasionally feel sorry for myself and cry; I hope the Zoloft prescription kicks in soon.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I cry, I laugh. I fart [words of wisdom snipped]

Yes, dear - but, on the other hand, your farts do smell of lavender and honeysuckle... :wink:

 

[B_Hickboy]

Yes, dear - but, on the other hand, your farts do smell of lavender and honeysuckle... :wink:

I did not know that. My nose is usually stuffy from all the crying I do.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I did not know that. My nose is usually stuffy from all the crying I do.

Or buried between my legs... mind you I don't recall you ever farting while doing that. But then I am rather distracted during that whole pussy eating process. I'm pretty sure you could get away with it. :smile:

 

[B_Hickboy]

Or buried between my legs... mind you I don't recall you ever farting while doing that. But then I am rather distracted during that whole pussy eating process. I'm pretty sure you could get away with it. :smile:

This is also news I can use.

 

[dolfette]

get a room!