Actually, I had written a ridiculous short story which starred Milton Berle and his supposedly huge penis about a year ago. It was kind of like a disturbing parody of Dante's Inferno, with Uncle Miltie as my guide intead of Virgil. Here's a part:
The female demon was beautiful, with immaculate skin that the flame seemed to smooth and make white, while the same flame burned off portions of her fine, black robes; it had extinguished when she crawled from it’s wild walls, but the smoke continued to rise from her in patches. Milton Berle was grinning widely as she crawled toward him, or rather, the 12 inch piece of meat that was sticking out through the open zipper of his pants.
‘Now that’s a fine-looking dame, son,’ he said, keeping his eyes on the demoness. ‘Here, come to Uncle Miltie, little girl.’
The demoness’ yellow eyes became wild, and her tongue was draped from her open mouth, showing long, sharp, canine teeth, sparkling in the light of Hell’s fire. She scrambled to Milton Berle, with firm melon-sized breasts shaking, her eyes focused on that enormous man-meat. She grabbed the fleshy serpent with her delicate claws and thrust it into her wet mouth, slurping and sucking like mad. Thick saliva ran from her mouth as she supped, dripping from her chin onto her firm, round breasts; the nipples were puckered an inch out, and she rubbed them with sharp fingers that occasionally made small cuts and added black blood to mix with the drool.
‘Hey kid, you wanna hear a good gag?’
But before I could answer, Mr. Berle thrust forward his hips, ramming the foot-long monster into the demoness’ mouth. She made a choking sound, then pulled away and vomited thick, green slime onto the floor. She looked directly at me and smiled.
‘Suck the salt from the Pastrami, you lousy wench,’ Mr. Berle said.
Then she grabbed Uncle Miltie’s enormous kielbasa and began sucking hard and with a vengeance. With her other hand, she reached down and wet her fingers in the slime she vomited, and proceeded to rub her round, thick rump. She then inserted a finger into her anus; two more fingers followed, and then eventually her entire fist.
All this time I tried to ignore the pressure from the bulge threatening to burst from my pants, attempting to retain my dignity, even within such a miserable and barbarous surrounding as Hell’s landscape, but my hand had a will of its own, and it traveled down to meet my longing member.
‘Pay no attention to me, Mr. Berle,’ I said as I eyed the young, female demon, whose thick, luscious lips continued to slide up and down with such force that her shiny, long black head of hair tossled as if from a confused wind. Her hand was still working with great diligence inside her apple-shaped bottom.
But just as I began to rub the purple helmet and slide my fingers down grab hold of my hot shaft, I saw her jerk her hand from that dilated hole and emerge holding an monstrous, worm-shaped demon. It resembled the same that the old man in the tunic excreted earlier, but this one appeared even angrier. It hissed and spat, shrieking fiercely as it tried to escape the demoness’ clutches. Finally, she threw down near my feet. As before, it looked at me, showed it’s huge, razor sharp teeth and hissed. It then squirmed away wildly, and threw itself into the fiery depths.
I immediately dry-heaved, while my manhood retreated into my body, like a turtle’s head into its shell. Then, not looking at the demoness or Mr. Berle, I ran fast, paying no attention to my direction, and just barely avoiding a fall into the flames myself.