Night Fondling with Roommate

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Lionheart17, May 17, 2013.

  1. Lionheart17

    Lionheart17 Member

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    So I recently moved in with a friend which we met in January of this year. I never thought I would be sharing a place with someone I met in such a short time. But, it has happened. He is a very nice, strong, determined, hard working individual. To set the record we are both gay. Anyhow, I always found an interest in him, and he admittedly said he had a crush on me in the beginning stages of knowing each other. Now he is more kinda casual with the likes, and very friendly.

    We both live in a two bedroom apt, and just moved in 1 week ago from today. Our rooms are not yet settled, so we are both sharing a bed together. One night we just started tickling each other, which led to play wrestling, and it was over. Several nights afterwards tickling led to fondling, and fondling led to cuddling.

    I want to make sure things don't end up on the wrong end, and keep things mutual. But the fact is there is an "interest" involved here. What should I do? Keep playing around like this? Or put a stop to it, before it goes you know where. I heard having a roommate which you see as a romantic love interest isn't healthy? is this True?
     
  2. hot-rod

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    You say you met this guy in January and it's now May and yall haven't done the wild thang yet? Sorry but I don't think he's interested in a sexual relationship with you.
     
  3. Call_Me_Daddy

    Call_Me_Daddy New Member

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    Hit the brakes hard!

    What happens if things go further and somebody gets attached?

    How will you feel when he brings a new love interest home or vice-versa?

    Are you willing to move out if things take a turn for the worst?
     
  4. hypolimnas

    hypolimnas Member

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    I wouldn't get too serious straight away or over think it. Have fun. Enjoy the friendship and companionship. If you aren't sure just ask him if it feels ok. Develop a genuine friendship and good communication. Have fun and remember free advice is worth every cent.
     
  5. sexplease

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    why not see how your life unfolds and make the best of your destiny.
     
  6. Florida Boy

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    See how it goes without pushing issues one way or the other.
     
  7. notN2pussy

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    about in the same spot relationship wise myself, moving very slow, on both parts.Very fond of each other.
     
  8. Ichabodcrane84

    Ichabodcrane84 New Member

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    Well I think it comes down to what sort of living arrangements you have with this person. If you're in it for the long haul (long lease) then you need to focus on making the relationship last as long as possible. That means you need to take things slow. This flies in the face of everything I want to tell you, which is to lay down your cards and ask him to do the same. But again, what changes things in this situation is that you're now 'partners' in a living arrangement, and one thing you can not do is let that get fucked up above anything else.

    So that means changing nothing and let him make the moves. You already know that you're receptive but you don't know if he is. So you need to make like a little cellar spider, set a big web, and wait for him to stumble into it.

    And then POUNCE on that shit when he flings himself into your net. :p
     
  9. stallionchaser

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    Enjoy each other! Don't put any labels to what you have.
     
  10. Amaethon

    Amaethon Member

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    I think that interest might be a budding like in him :)
     
  11. coveryerteeth

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    There's no simple answer to a question like this. Too many variables to consider.

    Primarily, the answer depends on three things: 1.) What kind of person you are, 2.) what kind of person he is and 3.) where do you want this relationship to go? Are you the kind of person that can handle a sexual relationship without becoming emotionally attached? Is he? If you do become attached and things don't work out, will you be able to handle the way this upsets your living situation? Is your attraction to him more than just sexual and is he someone you could see boyfriend potential in?

    These are all factors that you need to consider when you make your decisions about how to navigate this relationship. Be honest with yourself about what you want and make up your mind, before hand, how you'll handle the consequences of your actions if things don't work out the way you'd like them to.

    Me, for instance? I'm a master at compartmentalizing. It wouldn't trouble me in the slightest to have a sexy roommate who spent 90% of his free time with my cock balls-deep in his ass and then to turn right around on a dime and be like, "Hey, you ate one of my yogurts! You owe me $1.17, you bitch."

    :wink:
     
  12. Teb8807

    Teb8807 Member

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    I don't see starting a new relationship in the adjusting period as a good idea, honestly. You're not even sure if you'll like living with this guy yet, let alone if you would like to live together as a couple, which has its own challenges. Likes somebody else said, put on the brakes and take it slow.
     
  13. pepinogrande

    pepinogrande Member

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    Questions:

    1. How old are the two of you; is this the first time away from home; have either of you had a relationship before?

    2. Can you afford this? Are you each dependent on each other for money for the lease for a year?

    3. Can you handle his bringing another guy home without inviting you in to play? Can YOU stand being monogamous for a whole year until the lease runs out? Could he handle it emotionally if you brought someone home without inviting him to play? These are things only time can tell. Many young people want to fall in love for a lifetime / others do not want that, they are just horny and want to do all of NYC before the age of 25.....when they think life is over.

    4. Even if he loves you, if he comes from a strict Catholic, Mormon, Muslim, Orthodox Jewish background: he may not be able to handle this without guilt.

    Summary: take your time, enjoy him, make him feel like no person on earth has ever made him feel. Be kind, very kind, even if it does not work sexually; even so: he may turn out to be the best buddy of your life.
    Be kind !
    Slow down and enjoy :) !
     
  14. erratic

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    Coveryerteeth and pepinogrande both offer excellent advice. Kudos to both.

    OP, you wonder if it's healthy to fool around with your roommate. Unfortunately, there's no one answer to that. With the right rules set in place some people can do it. I've seen it happen, actually. They lived happily as FWBs but had to move out after one got serious with a boyfriend (I mean, would you want your partner living with a former fuck buddy?), but it was all friendly.

    However, for all the reasons that pepinogrande and others have pointed out, these things can - and do - go horribly wrong.

    OP, I would urge you to sit down with him and talk about your concern. Do it in the middle of the day some day when neither of you is horny, drunk, or whatever. Roommates, partners, friends with benefits, no matter the type of relationship people have, they have to sit down sometimes and have a frank conversation. I think now is one of those times for you.
     
  15. AtomicMouse1950

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    The above I totally agree with. No one can fault you for establishing some ground rules, at the beginning of your lease! Get things out in the open. Find out what's what.
     
  16. B_smooth_7

    B_smooth_7 New Member

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    I'm heading to the same problem, I think. I have a summer roommate coming today who is just staying for two months while he does an internship. We've never met but from the emails we've traded back and forth I'm sure we'll end up sleeping together. He's SAID IT - that he looks forward to us cuddling and sleeping together!! BUT he has a BF of two years. I put the brakes on as soon as I heard that and told him that that is a no go for me. Friends tell me just go with the flow, enjoy the summer fling and let him go back to his BF at the end of the summer. I'm usually not wired like that - to sleep with someone in a relationship - but maybe I'll be ok with this two month thing. I mean, he's apparently ok with it.
     
  17. boyslie

    boyslie Member

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    My old roommates were together for 13 years and had an open relationship. We used to have 3somes all the time or one of them and i would fuck. I made sure to not get attached and it was great. They were my best friends and we got to fuck the shit out of each other. But all along i knew i couldn't get in the way of their relationship. Set boundaries and stick to them. Have fun!
     
  18. nicecircjob

    nicecircjob Member

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    Ask your roomate how he feels about you. Maybe he isn't attached to anyone and likes you a lot. After all you said he was crushing on you when you first met. You all need to talk it out, who knows maybe he is into you and wants a relationship with you.
     
  19. XSILVER

    XSILVER Member

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    Straight up.... Get your bedroom in order A.S.A.P. then you can live together and see how the "friendship" unfolds naturally. Having a talk about your feelings is not a bad idea. get things out on the table but you ALWAYS have to be prepaired for heart break if he does start beinging other boys home.
     
  20. str8budchgo

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    I've moved plenty of times, with and without roomies. I've never slept in anyone's bed because my room was "unsettled". You guys have the hots for each other--just lean over and suck his dick.